Autopilot On!

Do you ever catch yourself in autopilot mode? This morning I realized that my mind was not paying attention to the road and my car seemed to be driving itself to my employer. Thankfully it was driving safely and not in a scary Stephen King's Christine kind of manner.

My mind was still asleep but my body had gone through the motions to start my day. Wake up. Pee. Let the dog out. Feed the dog. Dress myself. Wake up Vivian. Dress Vivian. Feed Vivian. Brush my teeth. Brush her teeth. Lock the door and leave. Get in car. Drive car. And then well....my mind gets a little fuzzy until I arrived at work and drank my first cup of coffee.

I suppose it is a good thing that my autopilot kicked in. Yet it kind of freaks me out too. How many of us spend days going through autopilot motions? We are doing what needs to be done but we're not really conscious of what we are doing.

The first 3-6 months of my life as a new mom were spent in that manner. Feed Vivian. Change Vivian. Try to sleep. Vivian's awake. Feed Vivian, repeat all above steps. Etc. etc. It's all just a blur looking back now. So how do I prevent the days, weeks and even months from becoming one big blur? "Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?"

I don't really have an answer. I suppose the first step is realizing that I'm not paying attention then do something to shock myself back into reality.

Perhaps the daily routine and mundane are sending me into autopilot status so I should mix things up a bit. Eat some blueberries instead of a banana in my cereal. Grab a latte instead of just my usual coffee with cream.

Lately, I try to do one thing each day, even if it's just a minor thing, to break up the daily grind. Today I wanted to eat out at lunchtime. Friends suggested Mexican but I went for Chinese instead. I didn't wear any makeup to work like I usually do. Just didn't feel like it today;so what if I look like a corpse!

What else can I do? What small things would keep this autopilot from resurfacing? Let's see - instead of staring out the window from my office, I must take a step outside, even if it's just for a minute to walk around my building (since my dang window at work cannot be opened!!) One day, I should go without wearing a watch and keeping track of the time. That'll really take the edge off.

Hmmm, I'm already dancing around the house like an idiot even more. That's helping.

I just have to keep trying. Do what needs to be done with some pleasure mixed in. If Striker can jump in and save the day, I can save myself from a lifetime of boredom and the tears that could follow.



Okay, I'm turning autopilot off! Deflation sequence activated. Mandy is taking over the controls again.

(Wow! I'm turning into a major geek.)