What Mother's Day Means To Me

Today is Mother's Day. I have been thinking all day about what "Mother's Day" means to me.

Not to sound un-romantic or un-enthusiastic, but it is just another day in the week and in the year. Nothing magical really happens.

I still woke up earlier than I wished I had. I still changed a poopy diaper. I still had to deal with my daughter's fits and sassiness. I still cooked for my family (by choice). I still washed and folded laundry. I still noticed that there is pet vomit on the carpet that hadn't been cleaned up yet. I still look the same in the mirror as I did yesterday (um, like I need to lose ten pounds and gosh, I'm not getting any younger).

My husband (and Vivian?) gave me some beautiful opal earrings this morning. They are very pretty and practical for me since I am not a "fancy schmancy" kind of gal. But it is a typical gift from Kirk. He has given me earrings for nearly every holiday or occasion for the past two years. He likes to give me earrings, saying it is the only jewelry that I almost always wear (besides my wedding band).

We did our usual Sunday breakfast at Cracker Barrel. It was delicious as always and our waitress Salina shared news of her new grandbaby. We had new tires placed on my Sante Fe, which needed it after five years. I did some light grocery shopping.

Just a typical day for any of us here in the Fernandez house.

I read stories about my friends and relatives receiving singing cards for Mother's Day or a painted picture or receiving breakfast in bed or a free-day of shopping or a love letter from their spouse and child.

For a few moments as they shared their joy, I felt some jealousy. I was elated for them of course because they certainly deserve the royal treatment. But for a few seconds, I wondered what I might be missing out on.

But then I came to my senses. For what I realized after thinking about it all day long and pondering on the moments that occurred today is that "Mother's Day" is special to me because it is like every other day in my life.

You see, I am very lucky each day. My husband says things to me daily that no Hallmark card, song or even a handwritten note could replace. Every single day, he tells me how much he loves me and what a beautiful person I am. He says it sincerely and deeply in the only way that he knows how. In addition, he tells me every day that I am a good mother and a good wife. At least one day out of every weekend he makes me breakfast. Kirk performs thoughtful gestures every day for me, so a holiday is really no different for him.

And every day my daughter Vivian shows me she loves me, (even when I fail to see it). Like how she hands me books to read to her since no one can read with the same expressions as mommy. And how she brings me toys for us to play with since I'm her favorite playmate. She'll try to amuse us both when she dances, sways or shakes her shoulders to music. She bats her long eyelashes at me when she is in a happy mood and when she wants to share something new with me. Vivian never wants anyone (including her daddy) to come near me or get in between us. Although that can be quite annoying at times, it is another sign of her love for me. She doesn't know what Mother's Day is since she is way too young. But she needs me and loves me unconditionally every day of the week; therefore, every day is Mother's Day to her.

Even the dog and cat love me, I believe. They will follow me around the house way more than they chase Kirk. Bono is always at my feet and Sam sleeps next to me all night long. The rubing against my leg when I get home from work or the licking of my hand is a daily occurance and sign of their affection. Every day is Mother's Day with them.

I am the mother of this household. I am the caretaker. My family knows it and I know it. And I love that.

If I didn't have someone's laundry to fold or meals to cook; if it were just me, then I wouldn't feel as happy and fulfilled as I do. Not that folding tiny socks gives me a sense of purpose, but it sure adds value to my life. As I fold those socks or boxers, I think about the people they belong to and how they enrich my soul.

If I didn't have those constant hugs and kisses from my husband or the rare ones I receive from Vivian, then I wouldn't feel true love with each passing day. If I didn't have a butt to wipe, a nose to wipe and a kitchen sink to wipe, well then what would I write about on here?

What I'm starting to see is that the every day stuff is what is important to me. It's the ordinary that makes my life extraordinary, so to speak.

So when I really think about it.... every day is Mother's Day for me too. Because I never stop being a mom and a wife (and they both go hand in hand). I never stop caring for my family. I never stop worrying about them and their happiness.

So that is my Mother's Day for 2009. I have no really great pictures to share. No surprises to tell. No clever images to showcase. I had no more than a half-hour of some real time to myself (to type this blog entry).

But here are a few highlights from this ordinarily wonderful day that made it just a little bit extra special for me:

--watching Vivian charm nearly everyone in Cracker Barrel - the lady sitting behind us, a child younger than her and our waitress

--Kirk helping me cook dinner and chopping up nearly a dozen onions. (that was the only tears that we both shed today, LOL)

--dancing in the living room with Vivian to a special Sesame Street DVD of Elmo and the R.E.M. tune "Shiny, Happy People"

--when Kirk and I snuggled as we watched a movie and when we had our intimate time while Vivian napped

--when Vivian voluntarily gave Kirk and me hugs several times today. She randomly hugged us both today and she is normally not that affectionate.

--when Kirk says out of the blue, "let's get a McFlurry from McDonald's" (yum!)

--when I looked over at Kirk and Vivian at different times today and almost cried because I realized at that moment how lucky I am to have them in my life, every day. (and how often do we not live in the moment or fail to miss out on the great times in our lives?)

--when I knew that I don't need any special or new gift for Mother's Day because my family is wonderful to me every day of the week and year and they are the best gifts for me, irreplaceable ones I should add.

Those are just a few things about my day that come to mind. While they may not seem that special to someone else, they are special to me. They are everything to me.

Now it's time for me to end this boring entry and spend the rest of my evening with those that I love most.

I also need to call the woman who is responsible for my being, my own mother Ginny Babin. She is the person who has taught me how to be a wonderful caretaker, wife, mother and friend. She is one of the most caring and generous people I know. I try to follow her example and I even hope that I can expand the love that she has taught me. I love you mom!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! I hope your day was as ordinary or as extraordinary as you wanted it to be.