Peel it, Slice it, and Roll With it

While I was peeling a peach for Vivian on Saturday, I sliced my pinky finger.



You'd think I would have learned not to use my fancy gadgets but Nooo! (Maybe my friend Jessica Davis was sending me my payback for writing about her run-in with my apple slicer). Bottom line though is that I was too lazy to peel the fruit by hand and I pulled out my cute little peeler thingamabob. Then oops!



There goes my skin. There goes the blood spilling out. There goes my body dropping to the floor about to faint. (just kidding)

Vivian had no compassion for me during this ordeal. She just wanted her peach and proceeded to tell me so by grunting and stomping her feet. So being the supermom (cough) that I am, I just wrapped a tissue around it and continued to slice the peach for her. A little blood in the fruit never hurt anyone, right?

When Kirk came inside from cutting our lawn, he doctored me up. That rubbing alcohol he dabbed on me with a Q-tip stung like a mother-*****, let me tell you. For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of sporting the oh-so-stylish band-aid on my finger to prove that I'm a loser.

But hey, at least I didn't have my house toilet-papered like our next-door neighbor did. Laughing.... Yes, check out this beauty that we woke up to find.





I know I shouldn't laugh but.... It's not something you see every day - streams of T.P. hanging from the trees, mailbox, swingset and the entire exterior of a person's home.

These culprits took it a step further than just toilet paper too. They brought along some snacks.

Perhaps the intoxicated teens had the munchies in route to the scene of the crime because I found over a dozen Oreo cookies smeared on the neighbor's driveway.



It's a shame to waste such a delectable treat. They looked double-stuffed too.

The T.P. bandits also made a little trail of plastic forks in the grass. Savages I tell you!



I should feel sorry for our neighbors but it really made me laugh. And I needed that laugh.

Moral of the story - (Jerry Springer ending moment): Whether you're peeling a peach, slicing your finger, or rolling someone's house with T.P., do it with full force and spirit! Just roll with it.

I seriously hope I catch those teenagers in the act next time. I would love to jump in the car with them, complete with my own kit of brownie mix, eggs, ketchup and tampons. Let the fun begin!


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I should probably add that we did try to contact our neighbors to tell them what happened since they were out of town. So I wasn't just exploiting them for a laugh, I did the neighborly thing. I can be a grown up sometimes.