Can You Focus On My Face (Not On My Breasts?)

Breasts are a powerful thing. So is a woman's sexuality. We can use it for good and evil. We can use it to get ahead in life or simply ignore the fact that we have them altogether (Well, good luck with the latter one!).

Just ask Erin Brockovich. I love that scene in the movie when Erin's boss, Ed Masry (played by Albert Finney) asks Erin (played by Julia Roberts) how she was able to obtain file copies from PG&E Company's toxic water mishaps. Erin's response to him is simply, "They're called boobs, Ed." In other words, she used her breasts to get what she wanted. In the end, aren't we all glad that she did though? She helped hundreds of families receive justice and she helped bring down a major corporation coverup.

Did she have to dress that way? No! But if you read her biography, you know that Erin doesn't judge people's intellects by how they dress. I think Brockovich illustrates how to use her sexuality in both a positive and negative manner. Regardless of her intent, I still think she's a very cool and inspirational woman.

Being a female is both a blessing and a curse. Now, I'll admit that I have played the woman vulnerability card to serve my purpose when I could. (I once talked my way out of a traffic ticket. Before that, I managed to get out of high school detention one afternoon, etc.) I have yet to dress in a very sexual manner in the workplace though. If I look in the mirror and second-guess the shirt I put on, then I'm usually peeling it off and replacing it with a new one a minute later.

Sometimes though, even when you don't try to be sexy, sexual intentions may arise. While visiting a vendor's office on Tuesday, I waited in the lobby for my lunch date. Meanwhile, a gentleman in the office walked up and asked if someone was helping me. How very thoughtful. As I responded yes, and I know she'll be with me very soon, this guy then proceeded to very obviously stare at my breasts for several seconds. Then he turned his head without looking back at my face and walked away. I'm certain that when he turned around without looking me in the eye that he wore a smile on his face (perhaps even a cheap thrill in his pocket).

I just chuckled for a few moments as he walked away. This is not the first time a man has stared at my boobs. I mean, I'm no Pamela Anderson but I do have curves. I'm not flat. I am a woman and that is pretty obvious to most beholders. But I guess I didn't realize how interesting my anatomy below the neck might be to someone other than my husband, especially when it comes to a business setting? (How very narrow-minded of me!)

I generally try to look people in the eye when I speak to them and greet them, espeically in a professional environment. I'm generally not sizing the person up or looking at their specific body parts.

Yes, I have glanced at an attractive male before, even down below his waist. I'm sure that my eyes have lingered on a shoulder or bicep before. But I do not blatantly stare at men or women's sexual organs right in front of their eyes.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not necessarily offended by this man's actions. I wouldn't call myself a feminist, per se. And I'm certainly not filing a sexual harassment suit. I just find it rather funny.

And there was that small part of me that wanted to do a little dance, jiggle them around and start acting like the Mary Catherine Gallagher character from previous Saturday Night Live sketches. I could place my fingers under my armpits, smell them and then cry out the words, "Superstar!" Wouldn't that change his facial expression from a smirk to a look of horror, perhaps? Heeheehee!

Apparently, my little episode pales in comparison though to my business associate with whom I enjoyed lunch yesterday. As this young, attractive female (and a fellow working mom) conversed with me over chicken salad sandwiches, fresh fruit and lemon pie, I learned about a not-so-innocent occurrence that, sadly, she fell victim to.

Let's just call her Ms. J to protect her identity. Ms. J attended a work conference where she was trying to meet with clients and drum up business for her firm. The day's program had ended so she retired to her room to rest. Later on, she changed into a bathing suit and a coverup to spend some time down at the hotel pool. As Ms. J rode the elevator down, one of the fellow attendees (a potential client) stepped into the elevator with her. Let's call him Mr. P (as in Pervert). Peering her up and down, Mr. P asked Ms. J if she was wearing a bathing suit beneath the coverup she was wearing. Ms. J replied yes, reluctantly. Mr. P next asked Ms. J if he could watch her walk down to the pool. Becoming uncomfortable, Ms. J replied that it was a free country. Then Mr. P asked Ms. J if she could show him her bathing suit right there in the elevator. And that's when Ms. J (who restrained herself from slapping him) said something to the effects of, No way. No how. And that Mr. P should not be speaking to her in that manner.

Wow, that must've been the most uncomfortable and longest elevator ride for the both of them after that. Thankfully Ms. J remained unharmed and did not run into Mr. P again for the rest of the trip. She did however incur other propositions, including a cell phone number and hotel room number that another male left for her to find.

Nothing like that has ever happened to me so far, thankfully. I may not have been as nice as Ms. J. Perhaps I would have asked for his number and room key, tell him I'd be right up, but later send a male attendant in my place - one who speaks few words and who just might be horny for that sort of sick thing.

Women in business (and in general life) do not have it easy. If you dress one way, you're a tramp. If you dress another way, you might be a prude. If you show force and passion in the workplace, you might be called a bitch. If you cry or whine, you're just "a woman." It's always a battle.

I know that some men (and some women) will never change. Some folks can't help but stare at another person's assets, whatever they may be. And that may be fine, in a non-threatening way.

All I'm asking for is that after you stare at my rack, you also look up at my face. You also realize that I have two brown eyes and a brain. That's all I want. Just an acknowledgment above the neck. Is that asking for too much?