Days Of The Week

How do you perceive the days of the week? When you hear the word "Friday" or "Monday," it conjures up a certain emotion. For fun (and out of sheer boredom), I toyed with these feelings and began to treat the days of the week like real people.

For instance, on my Facebook status, I have written short letters to Monday and Tuesday. In addition, I have written to the month of August stating my love for her. Sometimes I even write thank you notes to people for cutting me off on the roadways, being rude to me in shopping malls or throwing litter on the ground. You know, things like that. After all, they are more interesting to read than updates like, "I just had coffee." And, "I'm off to yoga class." Blah blah blah. Yada yada yada. I like to go deeper, if possible.

This week I have been dreading each day for different reasons. I decided to explore my thoughts further through written words for each of them. Some of these letters from me have been posted on my Facebook page and others I have chosen to share here now.

With seven days in a week, each of them deserve my wit and honest opinion of them, don't you think? Tell me if I should edit any of my letters below. I'm open to suggestions.


Dear Monday,
You sneaky little bitch! You just slipped right out from under me. Why do you whisper and tiptoe around acting like we don't know you're coming to ruin a perfectly good weekend? You make me manic. You're not my fun day or my run day. You never have my coffee ready on time. Jimmy Buffet never serenades me like he promises so you better shower me with love, and not via raindrops, ya here. You know how rainy days and Mondays always get me down....


Dear Tuesday,
You may be the most overlooked day of the week but I think you're great. You have the best lunch and drink specials. You often have great pizza deals. You even had a store named after your honor with commercials by spokesperson Lauren Bacall. You're multi-talented. Even Ruby needs your help in the kitchen again. You bring us one day closer to a day off. I salute you!


Dear Wednesday,
People call you hump day. I refer to you as decision day. We must decide if the week is half over or the week is still just beginning. I hate you for making me choose. Don't I have enough to worry about? You belong to the Adams family, not me. And though I admire your sarcasm, I have enough of my own. People try to make you wordless but let's face it, we are still talking. You give others ashes but me rashes. Please end before my dog humps my leg again.


Dear Thursday,
They are calling you the new "Friday" as you're gaining popularity among the masses. Perhaps it is because heartless Wednesday will drag out for so long that we wake up confused that you are the final day of our workweek. I try not to hold it against you. It must feel awful to always be second-place, second-best. In college, you were the best night to go out though, if that is any consolation for you. Chin up and keep trying Thursday.


Dear Friday,
People wake up happy at the sheer mention of your name. You sly, sexy thang you! Thank you for letting me be casual today. Jeans or hawaiian shirt day, does it matter? So long as I don't have to think about it or iron it. With you, I can have my cake and eat it too. You invoke the best in people - extended vacations, early cocktail hour and playing hookey. Sometimes you get a little freaky but it's all for our benefit. I'm in love with you by 5p.m. each week. Sometimes even 4:30 p.m. Shhh, it'll be our little secret.


Dear Saturday,
Yes, I know I have laundry to do and dishes to clean. Sure the grass needs cutting. But I have that party to go to and a barbecue to attend. And there is a sale at that new store. And then there's this thing after that. You know I love you baby. Thanks for letting me sleep in and stay in my pajamas all morning long. I enjoyed our cuddle time. But now it's time for fun. I promise to be home early. No I wouldn't ditch you for Sunday again. I promise.


Dear Sunday,
People worship you. You are adored by millions. Holy crap, I didn't do anything I was supposed to on Saturday. Forgive me for I have sinned. Shame on me for neglecting my regular duties and wasting an entire day to self-indulge. Why are you causing time to roll by so fast? Is that the sun setting already? Why are you punishing me? Please, no~ don't send Monday over to me again. No, anything but that! Please!