Finding Common Ground

In the business world, words like team building, strategic plans and meetings are NOT things that most of us like to hear about or participate in. Oh brother, another meeting = another time-waster. That's what goes through my head, in most cases.

When I received the invite to participate in a "staff retreat" in my own office - (In our own office building, now is that really a "retreat"?), I cringed. My co-workers are great people. But when I see a stack of papers on my desk and a dozen or more e-mails that I still need to respond to, this is not something I look forward to attending.

Team building exercises can often be a big gripe fest. Or people just act like everything is going fine when they really have built-up animosity. What could we possibly get out of sessions like this?

I have been stuck in meetings for most of this week at my job and they have drained all the creative juices out of me. My brain has been in a fog. So I was not thrilled at the idea of spending six to eight hours in a meeting today talking about how we can all work better as a team. I am a team-player, don't get me wrong. I just wasn't in that mindset for positive thinking and change today.

But as life will have it, surprises do happen. And I actually did have a few "takeaways" from the long, drawn-out meeting I participated in. What did I learn? I know you're just dying to know. Well, simply put, people work together better when they can find common interests among each other and agree to work toward a common goal.

That sounds so simple right? DUH! A monkey could think of that.

Maybe that's true, but it's still a good reminder that I need to tell myself from time to time. I may not always like what I'm doing. I may not agree with the tagline my colleague chooses for the promotional brochure or the meal selection my boss suggests for the meeting that I'm organizing, but if these choices are in the best interest of the group we serve, then I'm okay with the decisions. When it comes down to it, I do want what is best for all, not just me.

That brought up other questions in our retreat - can you support something that you don't agree with? We discussed what a consensus really means and how you can be a positive supporter of issues that you may not totally like. The bottom line for me- if the outcome or goal is in the greater interest of the whole, then yes, I can support it.

Now I didn't come to these conclusions right away. First I nearly fell asleep during the opening PowerPoint presentation. Next I had to go along with doing a series of hands-on activities. Just picture a dozen adults being separated into groups and putting together puzzles like elementary school kids again. Oh yes, I'm serious. Do you know where the U.S. states go? Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Can you follow instructions? Would you rather be stepping onto broken pieces of glass or walking across hot coals of fire? You know, that sort of thing.

Therefore, I endured some agony. Our instructor then asked us to make a list of all the things we have in common with our co-workers. Our eleven staff members were divided into three different groups. Sounds easy, right?

Well, it wasn't so simple in the beginning. We are a diverse group of folks - mostly female, one male, varying age ranges, different races, different backgrounds and upbringings, etc. When we were asked to make a list of what we had in common with the people sitting next to us, many of us were skeptical we could come up with three things or more (I know I was).

As my group tried to think of items we all had in common, many of our ideas failed - not all of us are social drinkers. Not all of us attend church. Not all of us hate reality TV.

But then we shifted our focus - In my group, we are all women. We are mothers who happen to have daughters. We all happen to be brunettes. We had some college experience. We like to read and write. We love to laugh and have a sense of humor. We enjoy research. We are detail oriented. We are career-driven. And the list went on from there.

As each group (including mine) began to have a long list of things in common on our sheets of paper, the attitudes in the room seemed to improve. We began looking at each other in a slightly more postive manner. I actually thought to myself, Well, we're not so different after all. Damn, this little exercise really is working and making me think!

So now I sit here and wonder.... Is this is a lesson that society can take away and try to do? Perhaps the U.S. Congress needs to do teambuilding exercises in their meetings. I wonder if our world leaders should just take a step back and think about what they have in common with their neighbors. Would it help us see things from a different perspective if we really looked at what we share as common interests?

Are we really all that different, you and I? We may like different things. We may have different viewpoints. And we certainly may have a different plan to achieve our interests. But are we working toward the same goals? Happiness, success, health and fulfilment?

Or am I just talking from my rear end and making no sense? Do I need to have my head examined because I was just sucked into a propaganda that isn't realistic? I don't know, you tell me.