My Daughter Joined A Cult

My daughter has joined a cult. She is becoming totally brainwashed. I'm not sure what to do.

Her cult leader is charming, charismatic and unique in his appearance. He sings songs, uses rhymes and has lots of friends in his presence at all times. He is short, hairy and has an enchanting laugh that draws you in.

Since being a part of this cult, my Vivian has starting calling nearly every inanimate object by the first name of the leader. She is drawn to any color and skin type that closely resembles this dictator.

With a straight face, she will move around in circles and sway from side to side at the sheer mention of his name. She will freeze in her steps upon hearing his theme song.

Often she will sit down as close to the cult leader and his followers as she can. This means becoming cross-eyed by being in a proximity not recommended by any optometrist.

She talks to me about this figure all the time. If I try to change the subject (or channel), she screams, cries and throws her body on the floor uncontrollably.

How do I show her how to break free from this monster? How can I separate my kid from this thing that has taken over our television, our playtime and our lives?

If you see this person, please notify your local authorities. He is armed and dangerous!



And please, whatever you do, run away if you hear him say, "Hi, welcome to _____'s world!" Because it's all downhill after that and I don't want my readers joining his cult too.