Love Letters To My Shower Head, My Ceiling Fan and More!

I'm still so tired from unpacking and putting things away.  My body hasn't ached like this in years.  Even giving birth and carrying around a newborn was easier than this.

Yesterday between removing things from wrapped paper, I did three loads of laundry, five loads of dishes, alphabetized our DVD collection (which would impress Blockbuster) and organized my tupperware containers in the cupboard.  I know you're very jealous of my fabulous life right now.  I can tell.  But try to contain your resentment toward me, please.

So to lighten up the day (and my mood), I have written a few random love letters to my appliances and household items.  I've been composing these in my head for the past two days.  Pictures of the house and highlights from the move will be my next post, I promise.  But in honor of Friday, I wanted this entry to be fun.  So I hope you enjoy my letters.

My dearest bed,

How I've missed you so!  I promise to never leave you again for some random hotel mattress where scum of the earth may have slept before me.  You, my darling, are the only one for me.  I lie down before you in true amazement and glory.  You scratch my back.  I will always be most comfortable in your arms. Who needs the floor, the couch or the back seat of a truck?  You are the best spot in the house.  I will never forget that again.  And I'm so happy for all the dreams you make come true for me.

Love,
Formerly Sleepless in Pensacola



My dearest shower head,

I've been lost without your massaging hands. Your pulsating water droplets always made me feel like a woman.  You are the only thing that can start my day right. You awaken my senses.  No other can compare to your vastness and size.  And with your attachable mirror, well....., you're every woman's dream come true.

Love,
Who needs a bath?



My dearest cupboards and counter tops,

Although you are new to me, I've missed your essence.  You give me the space I need.  Every woman needs space after all.  How do people live their lives without your shelving units and your open areas?  Living out of boxes and bags is not the way for me.  I think I may have missed you most of all.  Thanks to you, it was Christmas morning putting away all my "toys" (pots, pans, gadgets, toiletries, medicines and more).   Thank you for the joy you bring.

Love,
No Longer Living Out Of Suitcases



My dearest washer and dryer,

Oh, my front load friend, how I survived over five weeks without you is truly a mystery?!  Other washers leave me with that not-so-fresh feeling but not you!  You my friend have always left my clothes clean and smelling great.   And dryer -- oh dryer!  For weeks now, I've felt like I have been wearing wet diapers.  That hotel dryer left my towels and apparel more damp than the washer.  It's nice to be dry again.  Good-bye Hotel Depends Dryer.  Hello Warm and Fuzzy.

Love,
The Mom Formerly Known As Dirty and Drenched




My dearest ceiling fan,

Oh how you bring me that nice cool indoor breeze when I need it.  You may be a "fan" but I am your biggest fan.  No more re-circulated hotel air for me.  No more sneezing and clearing my throat every ten minutes.  No more middle of the night hot flashes (for at least another ten years, hopefully).  You make me feel like Marilyn Monroe with my dress flying up in the air.  You bring sexy back to the room.  I'm so glad I found my way back to you.

Love,
Your Biggest Fan



My dearest backyard,

Oh I have missed your privacy and your green grass.  You are my lazy-boy sofa.  With you at my back door, I can be sluggish and avoid walking my dog when I don't have the energy.  With you around the corner, I can sit on my arse and let my daughter run around without having to chase her.  With you, I can sit and sip my cocktails and coffee in contentment.  I can bathe in the sun's rays with you surrounding me.  Thank you sweet backyard for giving me the retreat I need, want and deserve. 

Love,
Longing To Be Your Lawn Lover



I could go on and on about other things but I'll end here.  An ode to my coffee pot, my salt and pepper shakers and my hair dryer just seemed a bit too much!  Happy Friday!