No Sugar Coating, Please!

While many folks are stuffing their faces with Halloween candy, I'm rather enjoying my treat-free hotel room. I'm getting the sugary high I need from some very sweet comments that a few friends have said to me recently.

I feel fortunate that two wonderful women over the past week called me "refreshing." Thankfully they meant that I'm candid and honest about my life in the words I write here on this blog (and on my facebook page), etc. Not that I couldn't be confused for being "refreshing" in the literal sense. After all, I do take showers and use antibacterial soap on a daily basis.

They meant that I'm so incredibly honest about my feelings on motherhood and other things in my life. I don't sugar coat my experiences to make myself look good. I don't pretend to have a fabulous, easy existence. You won't catch me looking and acting like a Stepford Wife.

I struggle with who I am every single day. Some people are blessed to have a strong sense of self, faith and direction. I'm not one of them. I am a work in progress. I can even be a complete mess.

I've found, however, that the older I become, the more honest I am about my insecurities, my fears and my doubts. The more I talk about what is going on in my crazy head, the better I feel. I also realize that many other people feel the same way I do - they struggle, they question continually and they are scared like me.

Generally, I'm not one to throw my opinions around unless someone asks for them. But if a person says, "Mandy, what do you think of this?" Then I honestly tell them my thoughts.

Like for instance, recently when a person asked me about being a mom, my response wasn't the typical - "Oh it's wonderful. You'll love it!"

Instead I was a bit more truthful. I said, "It's very hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to encounter and I'm only in the beginning stages. I didn't even like my daughter at first. She brings out the worst in me but she also brings out the best in me. There is nothing to really prepare you for it and you have to dig deep into your soul to get through some days. Some days are just awful and people don't talk about those days.  I laugh and cry almost daily.  It's an emotional ride. But I don't regret it. And if you have the love in your heart to try it (if you're tough enough to endure it), you probably won't regret it either."

How's that for honesty? I wish more people had talked to me like that before I became pregnant.

In fact, I wish more folks had shared a dose of reality with me in other phases of my life as well, like how getting a job after college can seem impossible. And how working in general really sucks because you spend a lot of time kissing butt and being stuck in a role that you wish you weren't doing.  I guess some things you must figure out for yourself, though.

Anyway, thank you to those ladies who paid me that compliment.  I'll never be the most beautiful or the most intelligent woman on the block.  But I can certainly be honest, candid and true to myself.  And when someone recognizes that about me and tells me that my words help them (or make them think), that is the equivalent to me winning the Noble Peace Prize or an Oscar trophy.  Thank you for making my day!

Ask me a question and I promise not to give you a sugar-coated answer. I'll make it a nutty, but truthful response. After all, sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't. And these days, I especially feel more nut-filled than creamy-centered.