The Edited Or Uncut Version?

Which do you think is better - a surprise or a predictable scenario?


I was asking myself this very question as my husband Kirk and I were watching a strange film called Max Payne last night.  Mark Wahlberg plays the lead role. If you've never heard it, you're not alone. I wonder if perhaps the movie went straight to video. Yeah, that's how good it was. (Later on, Kirk revealed the story is based on a video game.)

Anyway, as I do often with many films I watch, I predicted the ending of the movie within a half-hour into it. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Figuring out the plot or conflict of a film doesn't make it less appealing to view (in most cases).


The same thing goes for a book. You make assumptions. You figure things out about the characters and story line along the way of your reading journey. It can be fun and satisfying when you uncover the mystery. Or it can be wickedly wonderful when you're surprised from a twist or turn in the story.


Books and film are very different from real life though. Just in case you haven't noticed.


In reality, we're not given cues to follow or scripts to read (except for politicians and they even find ways to scew those up). Our lives are mostly uncut. We live in the moment. But we are given the power to edit our words and our actions afterwards. And thank goodness for that!


As Kirk was engrossed in the film, I picked up a book on my nightstand to read instead. Then my mind began to wonder.... Am I a better person as an edited or uncut version of myself? Is my life at its best when it is predictable or full of surprises?


Yes, I really do think of these sort of things. I'm not just about bowel movements, potty training, toddler tantrums and planning my next meal (which will be sausage and peppers penne pasta, by the way). I do occasionally think deeply.


But back to my question -- Well that is a tough one so the answer isn't simple.


Hmmm, let me think.... We should all be true to ourselves and our character no matter what form it is.

Is predictable boring and playing it safe?  Or is it smart?  Routines are a good thing.  Schedules keep people focused and organized.  Stopping to think before you speak certainly seems like a wiser choice.  But is continual editing of our lives too draining and inhibiting?  Repeated alterations may be sucking all the real fun from our lives.


On the other hand, when we're sincere in an uncut manner, it's beautiful and refreshing. When we laugh uncontrollably without pause, it's magical. When we catch ourselves enjoying the moment while we're actually in the moment, it's a damn near miracle. Those are the wonderous powers that good unpredicatablility can have.


But what about the not-so-pleasant moments? What about when we're taken aback in a bad way? What if we're provoked? Or what if we just become caught up in selfishness and petty things? (Raising both of my hands here). If that is the case, then we'll probably say and do things that we'll later want to edit or even erase.


I've been there, done that. Then I repeat it on a daily or weekly basis.


Sometimes in my writing, I'm better off leaving the words in their rawest, purest form. That works well in poetry. Sometimes I don't know where it's going. I just write or type whatever comes to mind. It can be amazing or frightening.


Blog posts are different for me though. I will write, edit, re-write, kick myself for misspelling a word or not leaving a space, post it, take it down, re-post it, etc. It's very rare (if ever) that what you see on here hasn't been edited in some way. (Oops, should I have confessed that?!)


The same goes for much of the rest of my life. I will say something and then spend more time clarifying what I said later on. Or I do something in a matter of minutes and later analyze it for hours. Yet every now and then, I act spontaneously. I get the inkling to do something new or to behave in a manner that is totally unlike me, which can be a liberating or a disappointing outcome.


So which is the best way -- Am I best when I edit myself or when I just throw caution to the wind? Will my life be more fulfilling if I leave it to chance or if I try to figure it out?



Aww hell, I don't friggin' know!!!!!!!!!





Wait! Did you really think I had an answer to this dilemma?





Oh sorry! I suppose my style is more to leave you hanging and guessing at the end.  Gosh, don't you just hate those films like that?!