"Wow," "Look At That," And "Shit" - That Sums Up Our Christmas

I have heard those three phrases from Vivian more times in three days than I have in her entire life span of two years and two months.  Yes, my toddler had an enjoyable and mostly low-key Christmas. Except for the "shit" part but I'll explain that in further detail in just a moment.

Our festivities began with Kirk's mom (Debbie)'s arrival on Wednesday afternoon, December 23rd.  My mother-in-law is an awesome lady and we get along beautifully.  I swear I'm not just saying that either since I think she occasionally reads this blog.  Nope.  She's the real deal.  I realize many people do not like their in-laws but I'm very lucky.  Ms. Debbie is so friendly, funny, and just enjoyable to be around.  So I look forward to her visits.  She laughs.  She drinks.  She story-tells.  She's a blast. 

Vivian was delighted to see Debbie too, even though she hadn't seen her Mimi (her grandmother nickname) since July.  Viv loved the attention and the hours of playtime each day with her grandma.





Kirk's mom and I talked about how we were looking forward to seeing Vivian's reaction on Christmas morning.  What would the Diva say and do when she first lays her eyes on the gifts and new toys spread out across our living room floor?  Debbie told Kirk and me, "Be sure you wake me up before you get Vivian from her crib!  I don't want to miss her reaction."

Yet to our amazement, when Viva the Diva woke up the morning of the 25th she was uncharacteristically nonchalant. She simply walked around and pointed to each toy uttering the words, "Wow" while she pointed.  Her comment "Wow" was even said in a calm manner, very matter-of-fact.  It was rather funny to witness her like this.  Normally, she's so animated and excited. 









After she said the word, "Wow," Viv would glance at us and say, "Look at that."  Her innocence spoken almost made us forget that we indeed had already set our eyes and hands on those items (and laid them out for her to find the night prior).

Now Vivian did enjoy experimenting with the new stuff which consisted of: a kitchen set, Mrs. Potato Head, Magna Doodle, Sesame Street dollhouse and figurines, a basketball goal, a baby stroller, a barn house with barn animals, a grocery cart, two hula hoops, new crayons and coloring books, and a few other items. Yet here we are, two days after Christmas and she's back to hauling around her same stuffed animals.  She is still more fascinated with Elmo on television than anything else in the entire house or backyard.  So perhaps Vivian's "Wow"-factor has already worn off. 





Kirk and I also said "Look at that" more in four days than we have in the past six months thanks to watching an average of two movies per evening.  Our selection was due in part to Blockbuster rentals, in part to DVR old recordings and a few of our own collection.  In less than a week, we viewed, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Star Trek,  The Hangover, A Night At The Museum Sequel, Julie and Julia, The Proposal, Just Friends, Men In Black 2, A Charlie Brown Christmas, along with a few bits and pieces of other films I'm forgetting.  "Wow" - is this how Siskel and Ebert would spend their former days?

Since Debbie and I are both on a mission to follow healthy eating, I planned several nights of low-calorie, low-fat meals during her holiday visit.  So instead of the traditonal Christmas feast of turkey, ham, stuffing, casseroles and more, we dined on grilled turkey burgers, homemade sweet potato fries, grilled shrimp flavored with lime and tequila, lighter versions of macaroni and cheese and hashbrown casserole, brown sugar chicken, green beans almondine, apple crisp dessert and more. 










Now, we still indulged in alcohol and an occasional sweet treat but we definitely didn't overdo it or make ourselves sick and stuffed as in holidays past. You might say we "Wow"ed ourselves (body and mind) with the ability to eat light even during Christmas.

But perhaps the most "Wow"'s and "Look at That"'s came from Kirk, Debbie and my mouths after Vivian began saying the word "Shit" on Christmas day.  Then the "Shit"s continued to increase each day thereafter.   No pun intended.

Yes, it's true.  Not my finest moments of motherhood but still funny and worth sharing.

While Viv was playing with her toys, she became frustrated.  She couldn't hold seven stuffed animals in one hand while she pushed her baby stroller in the other hand.  So what did she do?  She grunted, she pushed and she said, "Awww Shit!"  Then as we three adults all look at each other to ask Is that what I think she said?, Viv would say it again.   Repeatedly a "Shit" would escape from her mouth during the course of the day.  Once a "Shit" came fluttering from Viv as she fell down after the baby stroller she was pushing collided with the grocery cart in the room.

What is a mom to do?  On the one hand, I'm proud that she understands the word "Shit" and even manages to use it in the same context I would -- out of angst or disappointment.  But will the other pre-school and toddler moms want their children to hang out with Vivian when she's educating them on the syntax of curse words and the proper usage of them, complete with example sentences?  Ummm, I think not.  "Shit," what do I do?

I know that I'm mostly to blame.  "Shit" is the word that I say most often when I run into the side of the coffee table, stub my toe on the doorstopper or realize that I left the keys on the kitchen counter when I'm in the drivers seat ready to pull out the garage. 

There I was feeling completely guilty that Vivian has inherited my one most frequently used profanity.  I was sighing and shaking my head. 

That is, until my best friend, my partner in crime, my husband Kirk came to my rescue.  We were outside playing a round of frisbee and badminton to work off some food we ate earlier in the day.  "Shit!" he exclaims after he steps in dog shit in the yard.  Then a few minutes later, he dove for (and missed) the shuttlecock tossed by his mom across the playing field.  "Shit," he says again watching it hit the ground.





"Yes!", I scream since Kirk is busted for also using the same cuss word as me.  The very same word that Vivian loves to utter from her tongue these days.  Whew, I'm not the only culprit.  Now we just have to watch our language more carefully.  "Shit," I can do that. 

I'll add this goal to my New Years Resolutions - I will use profanity less or wash mouth out with soap more! 

That sums up the most newsworthy details of our Christmas adventures in 2009.  Tell me what words you used during your Christmas.  What phrases best describe your holiday festivities?


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For another fun story on profanity and children saying it, check out this witty post by my friend Tammy.   Happy 2010 to you all and watch your language!  :-)