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I've been a bit down in the dumps lately. I hate feeling that way too, especially during the start of a new year, when there is usually so much to look forward to - a fresh start, new ideas, redemption, etc.
I decided that the best way to pull myself from out of a slump is to make a list of what is bothering me. Just write it down, put it out there and then move on from it.
That's what this is - ten things I hate about me (as of lately):
1. I hate that I let other people get to me, especially other mothers who offer me unwanted advice about my child and any "issues" my child may have. I'm really trying to work on this one.
2. I hate that I sometimes don't like my daughter and the guilt that it causes me when I feel that way. Because of course I do love her. She can just frustrate me at times.
3. I hate that I used to be full of confidence in my early and mid-twenties. And now that I'm over 30, I feel more lost and insecure than ever before. Or was I just too busy and young to care back then?
4. I hate that, at times, I doubt my abilities to be a mother and my instincts to know what is best for my child. That is what often leads me to my number one hate item. Grrrr!
Wow, that was seriously depressing! I'm not intentionally trying to create a pity party here. These are a few things I have been thinking about lately, though.
Despite all the crap above, I do want to remain positive. I want to be happy and also recognize the good traits about myself too.
So let me reveal ten things that I happen to love about myself:
1. I love that I put myself out there to try new things, meet new people, and experience new activities on a regular basis.
3. I love how I am a good hostess and will go above and beyond to make others feel comfortable in my home or just sitting next to me in a public place.
5. I love how I'm not afraid to act like a goofball even at my current age. I still sing and dance in my car or go strutting my stuff down the grocery aisles.
6. I love how I can make people laugh over and over again. A sense of humor is so important to me.
7. I love how I can story tell, exaggerate and share every detail with people (even those details that they probably really don't want to hear. Ask me about what I had to do to my dog this week!)
8. I love how I pay attention to films, songs and written words. And how something new will strike me even if I've seen it/ heard it or read it a hundred times.
9. I love how I'm willing to try new foods and how I've been cooking creatively and with a passion lately.
10. I love that as I was typing this list, I remembered that all I really need is Kirk and Vivian (and our neurotic pets) to make me happy. I could be in the middle of the desert, amazon, or north pole starving without food and water. But as long as I have them, I'd be happy.
What are some things that you love and hate about yourself? Share the good and the bad.
And make me laugh too. I need to lighten up - the fat-free cool whip in my fridge and the zero calorie herbal tea in my pantry just isn't working these days. :-)
15 comments:
My mom always says "you are the best mother those kids will have" and it is true...just because I am the only one, but hey...I am going with it!!! You are a fabulous mom and Vivian is so lucky to have such a kind, caring mom...someone who cares about the kind of mom she is being. You are also a wonderful friend and I am so lucky to have gotten to know you in this short time! Looking forward to many more playdates!
We all go through those days/weeks/months when we can't get past the things we hate about ourselves. But, you have that list of things you like about yourself too...so just remember to re-read that when you're feeling really crappy.
Life just dealt some crap to someone I love and it made me take notice. I am healthy, loved, happy and doggone it people like me!
So....are you still on your blog break?! LOL!
Oh, oops...I was supposed to tell you what I like/hate about me.
I love that I'm always right. (this is meant to make you laugh!)
I hate the dimples on the backs of my thighs.
You are way too hard on yourself!
I was nodding in agreement the full way through your first list and smiling and nodding through a good bit of your second... Your second list was an excellent antidote to the first. We all have things we hate or are insecure about (heaven knows I don't have to list mine...) but it's nice to remember that we all have some pretty wonderful qualities, too.
Oh - and as for the questioning your parenting skills? I think any parent worth her salt questions her skills at some time or another - it's the ones who DON'T that worry me...
Mandy, I'm glad you ended the post with things that you love about yourself. It's easy to get bogged down in all the crap, all the things you want to change, everything which you find lacking. But focusing on what you do like and what you can do to improve is probably the best course of action. It will certainly make you feel better than focusing on the imperfections!
Just remember you have an entire community of people who love and support you - warts and all!
Figurative warts, not literal warts. If you had literal warts I could not be friends with you. Because that's gross.
Kidding!
Hey you know what you need to do??
Throw a party! Invite all the neighbors. Nothing fancy. Just a meet and greet thing. Maybe a few spirits and finger foods.
Once you lighten up meet the new friends you see everyone else is in the same boat.
Try It!!
Buddy
You're not alone. I identified with so much of your first list and even some of the second. I'm really proud of you for pushing yourself further to write the second list. You do see how valuable a person you are to so many.
Value isn't measured by the job you do or how many friends you have but by the happiness you feel being who you are.
If I can do anything to push you to get that book written, you know I will.
Great idea for a post. I hate how much I screw up as a mom many days. My patience does stay around when I most need it. I do love that I put my kids first. I hate that I also worry about what other people think about me. I love that I'm a good listener.
I guess where all a mixed up bag of the good and not so good. We're trying:)
we all have times where we beat ourselves up - after reading today's post it felt to me like i didn't like me son either, and i didn't, but i will always love him. don't feel so guilty! none of us having a freaking clue what we are doing!
A lot of your items refer to being a parent, so I have nada to say on the subject except that you are brave for having a child so remember that. It takes guts to put someone else first. You are too hard on yourself. Deep breaths because this too shall pass.
You Floridians can't handle this cold weather! It's making everyone grouchy and depressed. You'll feel better when the sun comes out.
PS I have a HUGE list of things I hate about myself. I try not to think about them and focus on other stuff. Like the things I hate about other people.
I love those things about you too! I think you are fabulous at everything you do! And as far as the hate things, a lot of those sound like me, so maybe it's a "mom-thing?" If it makes you feel any better, I got peed on by a "potty trained" little girl at bedtime last night. I was dog tired, and soooo ready for her to sleep, but gave in to cuddling on the couch with her anyway. I was wearing my most comfy pjs. But you know the great thing about being a mom? Even after I cleaned everything up VERY GRUMPILY (seriously, I feel bad for how mean I was to her about it.) she STILL wanted to cuddle with me. We have an intense love for our children that no one else will EVER have for them. It sounds like you just need a good break. It always works for me! Love ya!
When I was reading your first list I was making a list in my head of things I love about you! Glad to see that you can still remember how awesome you are even when you are feeling down.
You know what I love about you? You always seem to know exactly what to say to make me laugh and smile. You are a good friend and I am lucky to have met you.
It's funny that you can make that list of 10 things you don't like about yourself....I would disagree with many. You seem so confident. You always write awesomely (not a real word, I know) whether you are up or down. Some of your positive posts have been such an inspiration to me - and not to write - but something that made me feel better that day about an issue I was making up in my mind or a bad mood I couldn't get out of. I feel the same way about you on #1. This is extremely difficult. I feel like it is a personality thing. I don't know how everyone isn't bothered by what ppl say but it seems it's only some of us.
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