Who's Knocking At My Door Now?

When you live in a neighborhood, even a small two-street one in a rural part of town like I do, you expect that people will come knocking on your door.  An occasional girl scout selling cookies.  A neighbor asking you to politely move your friend's car.  Etc.  Then when the weather begins to warm slightly, the solicitors start a knockin'.  

On Thursday, I had two strange men come to my home door within an hour of each other.  (While Vivian was taking her afternoon nap too, gotta love that).   First it was an ADT Home Security businessman wanting to share details with me on house safety and fire prevention.  About thirty minutes later it was a Kirby vacuum and carpet cleaning salesman offering to clean my carpets.  (Note to self: Close the garage door during the day from now on!)  

I was polite to these two men.  I realize that they are just sales people trying to do their job.  Slamming the door in their faces won't make any of us feel better in the long run.  I listened to each of them for a few minutes, asked for a business card and said I'd share the information with my husband and we'd think it over. 

Still, why can't someone interesting come to my door?  Why can't some really outstanding person, product or service show up at my front steps?

Like what, for instance?  I'm glad you asked.

• Well, how about Bono for starters.  (No, not my dog.  The U2 rock legend singer that my dog is named after).  Wouldn't that be the most wonderful experience ever if Bono rang my doorbell and began singing lyrics from the song "One" to me.  Awesome!

• So that is wishful thinking I know.  Okay, well why can't massage therapists come cold-calling door to door?  They could offer a free five to ten-minute massage in exchange for a donation or future appointment.  That's someone that I wouldn't turn away or slam the door on.

• How about someone coming to deliver you a big check that you've just won?  A cash prize just for you, with no strings attached!  You'd gladly let that person in and bake him cookies.

• Or best of all, a friend you haven't seen in a long time.  Or maybe even a blogger buddy you haven't met yet.  That would be wonderful if one of YOU showed up on my doorstep to say hello and whisk me out for drinks and Mexican food.

Oh well, a girl can dream, right! That's just a short list of who I wish would come knocking at my door. 

Now let's cover a list of people I would not hestitate to slam my door in their faces, if they showed up at my place:

• For starters, a toe nail clipper salesman offering free toe nail clippings for the first visit.  He has sample nail clippings to show you just how great his equipment works. 
  

• Monica Lewinsky and her new line of stained dress cleaners. She has personal samples to demonstrate, as she has just made several visits to Congress meetings.

• Tiger Woods with a golf club jammed up his butt.  Frankly, I just don't want or need that kind of media attention placed anywhere near me.

And finally,

• Chip and Dale. No, not the dancers - they would be welcome, of course. I'm talking about those pesky rodents that like to cause a mess, sort through your garbage and crap all over your house. They may seem cute but they're really the devil's spawn, I tell you. They must make their nest elsewhere.  I've got enough crazy animals in my house already. 

There you have it - some quick thoughts on who's been knocking on my door these days, along with who I wish would ring my bell and who I hope never comes to my front steps.

Who would you slam your door on? Who would you love to see show up suddenly at your place?