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As I watch my daughter fascinated with herself in the mirror, it got me thinking about reflection, fun and self image. I was lucky to capture this short video of Vivian looking at herself in the mirror last night before bedtime.... A wonderful moment in time like this where she loves what she sees and who she is. This video is something I hope we'll both remember in the years to come....
That is how my daughter Vivian sees herself at present day-- pretty, smiling, happy and full of life. She never grows tired of that girl in the reflection. If I want to take a peaceful, ten minute shower, I simply put her in front of a mirror and I know she will be just fine.
Me on the other hand, I usually try to avoid mirrors whenever possible. I don't particularly like looking at my reflection for minutes, especially hours, at a time in the same way that my two year old does.
When do the effects of a mirror begin to change? When do you begin to dislike looking at yourself and seeing the fun in your reflection?
For me, I think it started around age 12, when I hit the middle school years. Those awkward teenage years making me self conscious about everything and everyone around me. That is when I went from a joyful kid singing and dancing to early Madonna tunes in the mirror to scrutinizing my thighs, my freckles and my crooked teeth. The reflection had changed. I had changed. I wasn't sure I liked what I saw anymore.
I suppose this is a battle that all women deal with though. Even beautiful super models like Heidi Klum have self image issues, I am sure. We put so much pressure on ourselves to look, be and feel a certain way.
Now that I have a daughter though, I'm more aware of my dwindling self image as I watch her confident, care-free attitude blossom each day. I want her to stay like this -- loving who she is and not fretting over every little detail the way I sometimes do. But if I'm not practicing what I preach, then will she listen to me when I say she's pretty in ten years? How will she see herself at age twelve and beyond?
Beauty isn't just on the outside. In my opinion, it's mostly about your attitude. One of the reasons I began my monthly challenge with a physical goal is that I did want to improve the way I look. But I mainly wanted to improve my attitude. Sometimes with beauty and strength, you do have to start with the outside and work your way in.
What I've noticed since training for my 5k race and since completing Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred each day this month (so far) is that I do feel stronger. Both physically in my appearance and mentally in my attitude. My husband and a few friends have been paying me more compliments about how I look and about how I act around them. I really like feeling this way. That, 'Yes, I can do anything I set my mind to' kind of feeling.
Now I wouldn't say that I LOVE to see myself in the mirror currently, certainly not the way that Vivian does. But I'm not running from it either. I'm not avoiding it for two years the way I did when I was pregnant and after Vivian was born. Sometimes I jump right in there in along with Vivian to have a little fun, just like I did when I was her age.
And every so often, when I am alone and I catch a random glimpse at my reflection, I might even crack a tiny smile. Then I tell myself, "Not bad, kiddo. You're on the right track. Look at you now compared to where you've been."
That's the kind of mirror effects that I hope will continue in my life, from this point forward. And the kind of self image lessons that I want to instill intoVivian-- Look at you now! You're on the right track. See where you've been and how far you've come. And I love you my beautiful girl!
Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to pause to reflect just where Vivian has been and where she is now:
Vivian, at age 2 months
Vivian, at age 2 years and five months
Yes! That's my girl! :-)
11 comments:
I love that video! Totally awesome post Mandy.
And you're right - attitude is everything.
She is beautiful like her mom! She sees the joy of who she is because you encourage that joy in her. She is reflecting the love and joy you give back to herself while standing in the mirror. That is a priceless video!
Vivian is vivacious! lol
And she is standing on the scale! Most women DO NOT want to do that anymore!
She's a cutie by the way.
Kids stare at themselves because they are somehow amazed with how miraculous human life is...and they're right. How do we lose sight of that? We're all beautiful in our complexity and uniqueness.
Love this post! You pose such an interesting question through your watching your daughter: When is that moment when we as women go from loving our reflections in the mirror to loathing all our little imperfections we didn't see prior? It's fascinating, the pressure from the media or peers or whatever it is that makes us mentally look ourselves differently the older we get.
Like you in about middle school I started looking in the mirror and hating what I saw. I wanted cute blond hair and a glowing white smile like the popular girls in my grade who had hot boyfriends; instead I looked mousey and completely average and guys only ever wanted to be friends with me. That all changed my junior year of high school, when I stopped caring about what other people looked like or how I thought they perceived me. I just played up the features I liked about myself (makeup = the best thing ever!) and that, combined with my sense of humor, was enough for me. Apparently that self-confidence in hs was all I needed to make boys head my way too! (Of course now in my eccentric old age I think I'm fabulous 24/7.)
Anyway, keep your confidence up! To me you look great and you should be happy looking in the mirror every day. Thanks for posting this. :)
So adorable! Good for you for completing the 30-day challenge, I've been thinking more and more about signing up for something like that, something concrete that will kick my ass. I miss the "I can do anything" feeling. I haven't felt it since before I got the stomach bug at the beginning of February and then hurting my back! But I'm in tip top shape now, and it's time to get my ass in gear!
Such a cute video! Like mother, like daughter- beautiful! Have a great weekend, cher!
Hide the scale from me!! LOVE the video! Vivian is the cutest!! She is definitely a gal on her way to greatness. Just like her mama :)
Those are great pix of her in the mirror. You should try to take more of them throughout the years. What an important thing we can do as (future in my case) mothers to instill confidence in our kids. I feel like I was so ugly growing up I can barely look at pix. My confidence on the inside and outside ebbs and flows. I am ready for a really strong finish! One of my personal goals is to be more assertive and aggressive. I don't think you can do this without being confident. Thanks for sharing with us the things that have helped you. (i.e. exercise really does make you feel better mentally and physically)
- Cougs @ www.cougar-tales.blogspot.com
The video of Viv is so adorable!
I've always enjoyed looking at myself in the mirror. Even if I think my thighs are too dimply or my tummy is to fluffy or my skin is to dry...I am me and I am comfortable. I know that I got this confidence from my father, a man who thinks he looks good in socks and sandals and a sleeveless t-shirt, all while sporting a mustache and thinning combover!
Keep loving yourself, Mandy; Viv will see that and copy it!
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