I'm Getting Rid Of An Organ Tomorrow, What Will You Be Doing?

Friends will ask me, "So, Mandy, what did you do this week?"

And I'll reply, "Oh not much.... made a strawberry pie, had my gallbladder organ removed and did some laundry.  How about you?"

At least that is what I hope to be saying after Tuesday.  I also hope I'm saying those words in a casual manner, like it's just part of my daily routine. 

I mean, after all, that is how the doctors, nurses and other folks seem to treat surgery these days.  Like it's a casual exchange, as simple and quick as using the drive-thru window of a fast food restaurant.... 

"I'll take some fries with that gallbladder removal, thank you.  Also, throw in a chocolate shake too when you're done closing up the incisions, please."

I'm trying to have a sense of humor about all this since tomorrow, (Tuesday, May 11th) is my outpatient surgical procedure to have my gallbladder removed.  But....I must admit that I'm feeling nervous. 

I know it's the #1, most commonly performed surgery in today's medical age.  I know it's a simple, minimally invasive operation and the scars should be small.  I know that I have chosen a competent surgeon who has already performed somewhere between 600 and 1,000 of these gallbladder removals already in his career.  Therefore, I believe I'm in good hands.

Still.... I'm NERVOUS! 

There are always some risks involved in surgery.  There are always those "what-if's" that might go wrong: bleeding, blood cuts, slicing another organ, etc. etc.   I worry about how the pain medication will affect me, how Kirk will handle taking care of his two girls -- both the diva and the queen.  I worry that Vivian won't understand why mommy can't lift her or play with her much for several days. 

In my common sense state of mind, I know everything will be fine.  I'm not having open heart surgery and I don't have a deadly disease of any sort.  The recovery time should be a day or so.  No big deal.  Right?  Well that's what I keep telling myself anyway.


Still, when I look at the pamphlet on laparoscopy and see how they use a device that looks like tweezers that will detach my gallbladder from my liver, I think.... "How is this possible?  And how is it that after an entire organ is removed from my body (even though it's a useless one, apparently), I'll be home a few hours afterwards?"  It just baffles me!

So I've put away the medical pamphlet.  I've stopped reading about the procedure and recovery expectations.  Because frankly, sometimes ignorance is bliss and less stressful, if you know what I mean.  Sometimes too much preparation just leads to more worry.  That seems to be the case with me anyway.


Instead I'll just leave it all in the hands of my capable doctor and his staff.  And I'll close here with this friendly, farewell letter to my gallbladder:

Dear Gallbladder,

The time has come for us to part ways. I’ll never forget the vomit and pain you caused me for the past year. 

Remember how I would just be sitting at my old work desk in Alabama then I'd get the sudden urge to regurgitate or defecate?  You liked to surprise me with whichever one you felt like giving me.  Ahh, the fun times!  Thanks for the memories.

I'll never know why you stuck around for so long since apparently you are of no use to me or my other vital organs.  I guess you just liked the bile parties day in and day out.  You liked the power you had along with my liver and my small intestine. 

Those times - they are a changing though!  On May 11th, I hope you enjoy being yanked suddenly from your cozy bed.  I hope you enjoy being detached from your B-F-F, Lenny the liver.  I hope you feel the twinge as you're being plucked with a pair of medical tweezers.  Then I hope you gasp while being pulled apart.  In addition, I hope you feel the cold hands examine your nakedness in the pathology lab.  Then finally, I hope you feel the burn as you are incinerated with your demise.

With love,

Mandy

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WAIT!  Was that too morbid and disgusting!?  Yeah, I guess it was....

How about this one instead?





Dear Gallbladder,

Thanks for the memories.  I wish you well as you move on to a less crowded place and warmer climate.


With love,
Mandy


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I hope to be on here later this week with stories of how I'm feeling great, how Kirk is feeding me breakfast in bed and that gallbladder removal is actually a fun experience!  Ummm, yeah, we'll see about that.... 

Stay tuned....