Let's Talk About Sex

Last night I went to see to see the "Sex and the City 2" movie with a group of ladies.  The film didn't disappoint me, despite all the negative criticism about it in the media.   This movie was just what I needed -- tons of fun, laughs, friendship moments, romance, and more!  I highly recommend seeing it, especially if you followed the show and loved the characters like I do.

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WARNING: Spoiler alert for the film!  If you plan to see "Sex and the City 2" and want to be completely surprised, don't read this post!

WARNING TO MY DAD (who often reads my blog): This is a post about sex.  I will mention a few sexual things (all in good taste though).  If you don't wish to read a post about sex that your daughter has written, then please read NO further!  I'm just cautioning you before you read on and feel compelled to write "TMI" in the comments section.  :-)

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Back to the film--  I loved it more than words can say!  I even enjoyed it better than the first film; however, you definitely have to see the original one to appreciate this segment.  The plot covered issues like aging, menopause, being stuck in a rut with your marriage, motherhood struggles, jealousy, work troubles, insecurities, and of course sex!  Anyone can relate to these genres.  We've probably all felt these similar feelings.  I know I have. 

One of the best scenes in the film for me was surprisingly not about sex but the one about motherhood struggles.  Charlotte and Miranda are sitting at their hotel bar talking about how hard being a mom really is.  Miranda convinces Charlotte to finally reveal her true feelings -- that sometimes your kids just drive you crazy!!   That sometimes you just need time alone.  That sometimes you just want to walk away from it all.  Can I get an "Amen" from the moms who are reading this??  It was such a powerful moment (and funny too since Charlotte was getting drunk as she talked).  I loved the raw honesty that was displayed in the scene.  It truly captured how I've felt on many occasions and it was refreshing to see that kind of truth in this movie.

(Charlotte and Miranda in Sex and the City 2)

But back to the sex -- There was typical Samantha trying to fufill her labia desires.  Only this time she was popping pills to prevent menopause and having hot flashes in the middle of the desert.  Say what you will about the character.  Call her a slut or a heroine.  I just love to watch her shenanigans.  The best thing about her, in my humble opinion, is her confidence.  Samantha Jones has confidence and that is sexy. 

I tried to channel that same confidence as I styled myself and put on heels to wear to the film's premier.  I wore a dress that I bought two months ago and hadn't cut the price tags off yet.  I grabbed a beautiful red flower blooming from my yard and held it up next to me before I met up with my friends for our outing.  For the first time in a LONG time, I did feel a little sexy and I felt good about myself.



(Me trying to channel sex and confidence before my Ladies Night Out, May 27, 2010)


After a rough couple of weeks before and after my gallbladder removal surgery, I was in need of a ladies night out and some ME time!   I wanted to surround myself with fellow women who were also in need of a good time, ladies who would laugh along with me in the film.  Thankfully I found those gal pals and we all enjoyed the movie together.



(Me with my Ladies Night Out Bunch at the Sex and the City 2 premier, May 27, 2010.)


I wanted everyone there to have a joyous time; so on my way to the theatre, I stopped at a drugstore to buy a bag of mini chocolates to share.  I mean who doesn't love chocolate?!  A few bites of chocolate is almost as wonderful as (perhaps even better than) sex!  I passed them out before the showing began.  Then to be silly, I later threw a few random Snickers, Twix and Milky Ways to the ladies while they weren't looking!  Hahaha!

I even thought of a few sex talk games we could play before the film began -- such as writing down what sexual lines we use and/or our spouse uses on us; I suggested we put the written lines inside a bucket then have each person pull from it and read someone else's funny lines.  My other suggestion was that we talk about what "pet names" men and women have for their private parts.  Unfortunately, we didn't play any of these games that I dreamed up.  Since attendees were coming at different times, it didn't work out.  And since a few of the ladies are more conservative than me, I thought it would be best to put these ideas on hold.  Instead I think I will host my own private party at home in the future. Then we gals can really cut loose and pretend that we're the cast from Sex and the City!  ;-)  

I read many reviews of the film before I saw it last night.  Critics were not kind to it or the franchise.  To them I say --  So what?!  What's wrong with a feel-good movie these days?  I mean, don't we have enough negative things happening in the real world -- gulf oil spill, increasing job losses and low economy, etc. etc.  Why can't we have a fantasy movie about traveling to far off places with our gal pals? And doing it in style with beautiful dresses and heels? 

Plus I find it refreshing to see and hear women talking openly about sex.  I didn't have an older sister or a friend growing up that shared  sexual tips and experiences with me.  Everyone was kind of "hush, hush" about it.  In high school that was okay.  I was still young and not really interested in that kind of thing just yet.  However, it would have been great to have a network of confident women in that department -- a circle of sex-conversationalists, if you will. 

I have wonderful friends but many of them are shy or private when it comes to the matters of the bedroom.  I can respect that.  Yet I wish people were more open about it in discussions.  Maybe if we were more inclined to talk about sex, younger girls in society might be more open to talk about it too before running off to secretly experiment.  

My mom and I don't really talk about sex.  I wish we did but she's not really open in that respect.  But considering who her mother is (my granny) and the childhood she had, my mom has come a long way.  Also, she can surprise me from time to time with how calm she is regarding the notion of sex and preventing pregnancy.  I remember the first time I told her I wanted to get on the birth control pill.  I was 17 and had a serious boyfriend at the time.  I was considering going all the way.  My mom and I were floating around in our backyard pool when I suddenly brought up the topic.  Without missing a beat, she simply said: "Okay, I'll call and make an appointment for you with my gynecologist."  And that's all we said about it.   "Wow that was easy," I remember thinking.  I didn't even use the pills or need them for a long time but I liked being open with my mother about my intentions.  I liked having them, just in case.

I sure hope Vivian and I will be able to openly talk about sex.  It might not be easy for me to accept if she wants to consider it at an early age or with a person that I don't feel comfortable with or even like.  But I'm not naive and I know it's a reality for girls.  The trend seems to be that sex is happening for younger girls with each passing year.  However, if I do my best to educate Viv and share my experiences with her, then maybe she'll make a decision that I can be proud of and support.   Here's hoping anyway....

The best tool that I hope to give Vivian is to be confident in who she is and to trust her choices - in sex, in life and in being who she really is.  I am still learning and perfecting those notions but I gain strides with time.  As I grow older, I do become more accepting and appreciative of who I am and the decisions I've made.

I'm learning to embrace me.  I'm learning to accept my flaws and my best features.  To me, that's sexy.  To me, that's hot.  And for me, it's worth seeing on film (like this movie) and also worth talking about with all your friends and those you love!



(Embracing the real Mandy.  This is me.)

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Are you shy or open when it comes to talking about sex?  Did your mom or family members talk to you about sex?  As a parent (if you are one), how do you approach discussions of a sexual nature with your kids?   Please share your tips and stories in the comments section.  Thanks!