Tokens of Friendship

Who could have guessed that some of my closest friends, my true soul-sisters would be a group of strangers that I've never met in real life?  Yet sometimes you are put on the paths (even online, virtual ones) of the people you are destined to meet. 

Two years ago I met a group of women through an online resource called Babycenter.  We all had one thing in common - we were all new mothers and having a hard time with it.  Most of us all had children born within (or at least due within) the same month.  That's where we first began chatting - on the October 2007 birth thread. 

One insightful, fabulous lady named Carrie started a post about how hard motherhood is and how she wasn't really loving every minute of it.  She wanted to know if others felt the same as she did.  That simple, witty post led to many responses from other moms.  Later on Carrie formed a private group with those moms who connected and no longer felt afraid to admit out loud (or at least in print,) that being a mom is tough and even downright frustrating.  In the beginning, this group was about 40-50 people.  After a year and many stories shared later, this circle of friends became ten core women--  Carrie, Jess, Jen, Tammy, Dani, Erin, Cindi, Christie, Shannon and Me.  I am lucky enough to be a girl in this group of ten. 

I can't even begin to describe each of these amazing female friends.  I could write a blog post on each of them, but even that wouldn't sum up their awesome-ness.  So let me just say that these are my "go-to" girls.  We ten chat almost daily through a private online forum.  But many of us often text or call on occasion too. We've shared videos, pictures and personal experiences with one another.  We have told some of our deepest, darkest secrets and even a few confessions of our not-so-proud mommy (or wife) moments.  We ten all live in different places and we have different political and religious beliefs.  Yet somehow we are each other's biggest fans and cheerleaders. 

For over two years now, we have been each other's extended family - a network of strength, courage and encouragement.  We wait anxiously (but not always so patiently) when one of us has surgery or gives birth to a new baby.  When one of us is down, the rest send or post words of encouragement, offering virtual hugs to that person in the most sincere manner you can imagine.  I can't fathom my life without these women and I can hardly remember what vortex I nearly drowned in before they came along.  (Note: In fact, three of those gals had blogs (and still do) when I "met" them.  And if it weren't for them introducing me into the blog world, then I may not have even started my own site here.) 

To show our love for one another, Carrie, our "troop leader" (as I like to call her) came up with the great idea of sending each other friendship beads.  She was about six months pregnant at the time and wanted to use them as her "labor beads" -- inspiration to help her get through the tough ordeal of pushing her second child out via VBAC (a chance that she didn't get with her first child due to a c-section).  The rest of us LOVED the idea and said that it would become our "friendship" bracelets - tokens of the relationships we formed and work hard to maintain/cherish on a regular basis. 

The rules were in place -- Each of us would find a bead that represents our own individual personality or it would result in some kind of special quality that we liked.  We'd mail each participant four beads.  Then we'd form a bracelet, or a key chain, or a book mark or whatever keepsake we wanted with the charms.

Confession:  I only sent each girl two beads.   But that was because I  spent a little more on the beads AND they didn't have as many of the kind I liked in stock.  I chose to send a Fleur de lis bead and a square one with the words "love" printed on it.  The Fleur de lis is special to me because it's considered a symbol of pride in New Orleans, Louisiana which is very close to my hometown.  I also chose a "love" bead to represent the love I feel for those spectacular ladies.   

Everyone sent each other a note that accompanied the special beads chosen.  The words either explained the selection or they were simply a heartfelt thanks for being a good friend for the past two years.   Each time I received a new letter and bead in the mail, I was overjoyed!  It felt like Christmas for me but it was much more meaningful than those crappy socks your aunt or uncle often gives you.  

Here is the collection of the beads that were sent to me.  I lined them out on my kitchen counter top before I strung them together:



Beautiful, aren't they?  Just like the women they represent!

Have you ever participated in a friendshp bracelet exchange as a kid?  I did sometime between the fourth and fifth grades.  But it was simple, color strings that we braided ourselves.  Nothing too special.  There was no thought or heart put into it, not like with this project. 

Here is the bracelet I managed to make myself.  I'm rather proud too since I don't consider myself to be a very crafty gal.  Especially when it comes to putting things together, beyond words or food ingredients. 

I love the end result.  Every time I look at these beads, I will think of the special women that each one represents. 





These gals (my "BBC" friends) are very near and dear to my heart.  I found them during one of the most darkest periods in my life (thus far).  In many ways, they saved me and helped me realize that I was still a good person and a good mom.  These nine other gals were there for me throughout my doubts and my negative attitude toward motherhood in the early months of newborn hell. 

I love and cherish them all so much! 




I am so happy to have these tokens of friendship that I can wear any time I want.  And I shared our story here in case it inspires you to do something similar for the special friends in your life -- whether it's beads, a bracelet or some other creative source. 

I hope to meet these exquisite women in real life someday.  We often talk about meeting up in one central place.  However, when you have ten people coming from locations in California, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Texas, Wisconsin, Florida, Oregon, and even Canada, it becomes difficult to coordinate all the different schedules, time zones and even countries.  The ten of us want to make it happen though.....somehow.....

I joke about it but my plan is to write a letter to the Ellen DeGeneres show explaining to her about our wonderful group.  Maybe she could bring us all together on her show to meet for the very first time!  Wouldn't that be incredible!?  Wouldn't that be a fabulous program you'd want to see -- virtual friendships and bonds of women who stick together no matter what.  Do you think Ellen would adore us?  She grew up in New Orleans, after all.  So she and I are connected!   Yeah, well.... a girl like me can dream, right? ;-)

Thanks to my amazing BBC friends and your beautiful tokens of friendship to me.  I'll wear them with pride just as I take pride in our relationships and feel joy in watching our conversations and our children grow each day.  I love you all!

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What are some tokens of friendship that you've participated in?  Have you ever put together a unique, thoughtful gift similar to this?  The best kinds of gifts are those that tell a story -- like a quilt or honoring a memory in some way.  Share your memorable gifts and symbols of friendship.