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Friday, November 19, 2010
Ever feel like your life is going at ludicrous speed? Or do you find yourself saying and doing things so ridiculous that it can only be compared to a classic Mel Brooks film like Spaceballs?
No? Really? Okay, then it's just me I suppose.
Seriously though, as I sit here and reflect on my life from the past year, I can't believe all of things that have happened. I can hardly fathom all the things I have done! I didn't realize how much I could change and grow (mostly for the better).
Where was this person that I am today? Hiding deep inside of me? Why did I let life pass me by for so long? Why didn't I challenge myself in new, creative ways like I do now? What changed? What sparked this new determination? Was it the book "Dream Big" that Vivian and I discovered in the library back in February?
I'm not sure. I don't have a clear answer for those questions... I just remember thinking at exactly around this time last year (Thanksgiving 2009) that I wanted to, that I needed to, shake things up in my routine! I was tired of feeling chubby, boring, uninspired and uninteresting.
I was afraid, very afraid of turning into a drab stay at home mom. That I would become resentful of not bringing in dollars to my family's income. Or that I would somehow become this all-day long television watching imbecile crying over commercials and made for TV dramatic movies.
So I made some promises to myself. I began to hold myself more accountable for goals, dreams and wishes I had in my head. It was time to start making them a reality instead of just talking about what I wanted all the time. And how I could raise this beautiful, bright daughter (diva) of mine and encourage her to reach for the stars if I didn't go for them either? Vivian is definitely a huge factor for me striving to be a better person, not just a better mom.
As I glanced back at photos taken from the past several months, it all seems so far away. Like so long ago. But it has only been a year or less since all of the following things have occurred:
(1) I survived living in a hotel for six weeks with our family!
(2) I wrote love letters to my shower head, ceiling fan, washer and dryer and more after my family moved into our current house!
(3) I survived a wild night in the ER with my husband on New Year's Eve!
(4) I ran my first ever 5k race with the great help of my coach (my dad) and did better than I thought I would.
(5) I read more books this past year than I've read in many years!
(6) I survived my gallbladder removal surgery with my sense of humor still in tact!
(7) I had fun being a storm chaser for a day!
(8) Vivian and I had a very busy, fun-filled summer! I captured highlights in these photos.
(9) I continued writing letters about things that really matter, like this one on my hatred of the automatic flushing toilet.
(10) I turned 32 years old with grace and dignity instead of whining about it like I usually do.
(11) I quit a challenge that I started for myself when I realized it wasn't working out like I hoped.
(12) I wrote a touching tribute to my daughter for being a great inspiration in my life.
(13) I took some time off in October to let others show off their writing talent!
(14) I wrote a book and finished it! Here is what the cover looks like (more details about its availability will be coming soon):
And my latest thing:
(15) I have started a new blog to promote the book I wrote and to share this new creative outlet (cooking) in my life!
Whew! Looking at the above list and just typing them has worn me out!!! It's no wonder I feel like Dark Helmet and Col. Sanders felt after hitting the "ludicrous speed" button on the space ship.
I set out to achieve a few goals. Some of them I reached and others I didn't. Then I became crazy obsessed with writing a book and somehow finished it. It is published (well, self-published by me) and I'll be making it available online for anyone to purchase by next week. It's amazing how things are turning out.
Wow! Sorry but I still am IN SHOCK over the fact that I wrote an entire book, from start to finish and have published it and am about to share it with everyone I know!!!
I have really outdone myself this year! Maybe next year in 2011 I should just be a lazy bum. What do you think?
I hope the new year doesn't depress me. After a high like I'm experiencing now, I may take on that letdown that can follow. Yet somehow I know I'll prevail. In fact, I think I'm even more motivated now to continue writing and continue sharing my journey with others.
I no longer feel the need to dream up some fantasy fiction that will be a bestseller. I don't care about what the trends in literature are. I'm just happy to be writing. I'm overjoyed to be jotting down the things that I am learning, the things that I know and the things that may inspire other people, ordinary people just like me.
And I realize that the only thing that has ever really held me back from my dreams was me.....until now~!
Thank you for being with me here on this blog. Thanks for sharing in my ups and downs. And thank you for reading this post of reflection. I think it's very important that we take time to review where we've been and where we're headed next, even if we're not sure about the path.
May the schwartz be with you!