The Negotiator

No one told me that you needed lawyer skills in order to be a parent?!  Why is it that kids, even toddlers, just know how to manipulate and negotiate at such a young age?

Example: 

(Scenario: We are leaving the house to go to a store.  This is always a challenge to get out of the door without my three year old wanting to take half the toys she owns.)
Vivian: "Elmo and Abby can come to the car too!"  (which is her way of saying she wants to drag two stuffed animals into the car)

Me: "No, we're not bringing animals into the car.  We are going to ____ today."

Vivian: "Have one, mommy" flashing me a big smile. (which is her way of asking to bring one animal instead of two.)

Me: "No sweetie, no animals.  We're just taking a short ride."

Vivian: "Hug, mommy!  Give me a hug!" and she flashes a huge smile at me and embraces me. 

Me thinking to myself: I will not fold.  I will not fold.  Okay, maybe she can bring just one animal.....

Vivian thinking to herself:  I've got mommy right where I want her....

And guess what?  Elmo did come into the car with us. 

This is just one tiny example of her amazing skills too.  The same thing happens at dinnertime, bedtime, when she wants to watch a television program or movie, play a game or whatever.

Dinnertime is usually when I get the most hugs during the day.  It goes something like this.

Another Example:

(Scenario: Dinner time.  All three of us are sitting at a table.  Only Kirk and I are eating though.)

Me: "Vivian, take a bite."

Vivian: "Hug mommy!"

Me: "After you eat!"

Vivian: "Kiss mommy!" 

Me: "I'll hug and kiss you all you want after you take a bite."

Vivian takes a tiny bite of food but purposely spills most of it.  Then the conversation repeats.

Sigh! 

I never dreamed I'd be such a softie and cave in as much as I do.  I can be the tough, mean mom when I need to be.  But on a day to day basis, I just do what it takes to keep things peaceful and light.  I'll probably pay for it later on when the "diva" is in full swing. 

How do you say no and stay tough all the time when you stare at a face that looks like this every day?   Could you do it?






If you are a parent, how do you stay tough and when do you cave in?  If you're not a parent, do you think it would be difficult to be the "tough, mean" one?