The End of My April Monthly Challenge -- How Did I Do?

Well here it is -- the end of April and the finale of Mandy's Monthly Challenge for April -- "Let's Get Literal" - my second month's attempt at adding more meaning to my life with regular goals for every 30-31 days.  (I realize that I have one day left but I'm attending a family picnic event tomorrow that will tie up a portion of my day.)  April included reading four novels in one month, taking my daughter to the library every week, reading twelve children's books a day and learning new words to try out in a sentence. 

I haven't read this many books in one month since..... well, I can't even remember how long ago, if ever! You can look at back at my reviews of each of the four books I read (links posted below):

--"The Old Man and The Sea"
--"Love in the Time of Colic: A New Parents Guide To Getting It On Again" (a book mishap for "Love in the Time of Cholera")
--"To Kill A Mockingbird"
--"The Poisonwood Bible"

Here are some of the fabulous new words I learned this month, words that relate to my literacy challenge. I studied these terms thanks to my word-a-day e-mails from dictionary.com and Merriam-Webster's: 

• After reading the works of great writers Harper Lee and Barbara Kingsolver, I have learned skills to make my own writing more pellucid.  
• Because the weather was rainy and clement most of the weekend, I finished off the last book of the literacy challenge.
• Nathan Price, the Reverend father in "The Poisonwood Bible" was a soi-disant expert on the bible and the teachings of Jesus.
• Throughout "The Old Man and The Sea," Santiago would talk aloud to himself, critcize his doubts and sough when he thought he might lose the fish.
• Jem was prepared to protect his sister Scout by perforce when Mr. Ewell was determined to harm the children at the end of the book in "To Kill A Mockingbird."
• The Belgians and the American government wanted to quash the Congolese people in "The Poisonwood Bible."
• Mobutu was a quisling to his own nation in the story "The Poisonwood Bible."
• Mrs. Dubose and Aunt Alexandra were always displeased with what they called Scout's frowsy appearance in "To Kill A Mockingbird."
• The characters in "The Poisonwood Bible" did not have a hale well-being.  All of them suffered in some physical aspect.
• The book "Love in the Time of Cholic: The New Parents Guide To Getting It On Again," was an omnium-gatherum of quotes and personal stories of couples who experienced problems reconnecting after having a child. 
• Pilot Axel Ebenroot in "The Poisonwood Bible" was definitely a wastrel.  He deserved the spits that the Congolese gave him. 
• Reverend Price liked to interlard every conversation with a line from the scriptures in "The Poisonwood Bible."

Those are just a few sample sentences.  I don't want to write out all 60 words I learned throughout the past four weeks.  But you get the point.  I encourage you to expand your vocabulary by signing up for the daily, free word emails. 

So, how did I do overall for the challenge? Well, I give myself an A- rating. I started off slow (not reading much in the beginning days) but I finished strong (several days ahead of my deadline). The minus is also for skimming one of the four novels. As I stated in my earlier review, I could NOT get into the "Love in the Time of Cholic/Getting it On After Kids" book.  Sometimes you just have to trust your instincts and put the book away if you're pulling your hair out and wasting time in order to get through it.  Besides the reading, Viv and I did make weekly trips to the library. Although we didn't read exactly twelve books each day, we definitely met our quota within a week. Overall, I stuck with the tasks and challenged my mind in new ways.

The best thing is that I rediscovered how much I enjoy reading.  As a writer, it's important that I continue to read and learn from published authors.  I have a reenergized focus now after completing these fantastic works.  I'm excited to move forward and incorporate these writers' same skills and tactics.

I'm also pleasantly surprised that in the course of the April challenge of literacy, I discovered what I want my challenge for May to be.  It came to me after reading two of the books.  I had been brainstorming all month long on what to do next, drawing a huge blank....  The challenge to come up with a new challenge each month is a daunting task in itself!!!  I have a few ideas for later months this year but I was unsure about May, until a few days ago.  Thanks to writers like Harper Lee and Barbara Kingsolver, I know what I should do next.  Thanks ladies!  :)

So that's it for April.  I have two monthly challenges under my belt.... with quite a lot more to go in 2010.  (If you missed my fitness challenge in March, you can read about how I completed a 5k race and lost weight here).  My hope is that I will continue to do some form of each challenge as the months go on. In other words, I'll continue my fitness and reading aspirations in May, June, July and beyond.  I'll just take it at a slower pace while I stay centered on my main task for the month. 


Thanks for weighing in your thoughts throughout my literacy month.  Your comments made the challenge more fun and it seemed more possible with you cheering me on!  I sure appreciate it.  My next post will reveal my challenge for May. I'm almost done with formulating the specific plan in my head to make it happen.  Let's see where I go and what I do next....

My Review of "To Kill A Mockingbird" - A Classic Must Read!

Harper Lee's classic tale "To Kill A Mockingbird" was the first book I read in my April literacy challenge.   Why am I reviewing it last, then?  Well, it's taken me awhile to gather all my thoughts in order to write about it.

Also, my pal Anne of Annie Bakes has been reading it along with me.  She and I are going to have our virtual book club meeting later this week but Anne encouraged me to post my thoughts now, before my month-end challenge deadline. 

Spoiler Alert: If you haven't read this classic book and you think you'd be interested in doing so, then you may want to skip this post. I reveal lots of things about the novel that will ruin it for you!  But there is no other way around it for me!

I ended this novel with tears in my eyes wondering "Who killed Bob Ewell?  Was it Boo Radley, Jem or someone else?"  I'm leaning toward Mr. Radley doing it, but it's those unanswered questions that make you love a book and also drive you crazy!! 

What a great book!  This was a wonderful first read and choice for me to kick off my challenge!  I'm so glad my friends suggested it for me.  As you watch the Finch family undergo great ridicule and show great courage in the face of aversion, racism and justice, you can only admire their character strengths. 

Confession: I had no idea that this book was written by a woman -- the great Harper Lee -- and that she has ties to Truman Capote.  Seriously!  Why did my English professors make me read unknown literary crap instead of great American literature like this book?  Anyway....

"To Kill A Mockingbird" is a book similar to "The Poisonwood Bible" in that the place means almost as much as the people written in the story.  Maycomb, Alabama is the setting and once you're into the adventures, you can't imagine these events happening anywhere else.  It's a small, rural town that seems to be forgotten in time and unwilling to move forward.   

Still a small city does have its charms, like knowing all your neighbors and letting your children walk through town without much worry.  How many cities in today's world can you do that in now? 

The notion of neighbors helping neighbors really struck me about this book. Since I've moved three times in less than five years, I've not gotten close to any of the people living next to me or across the street from me. They have made conversation with me when they've seen me outside.  Yet  no one has extended a hand, invited us over for dinner or seemed genuinely interested in getting to know my family and me. I wonder if neighborhoods like Maycomb even exist in today's world? Our current neighbors seem so distant and self-involved. I can't imagine any of them looking after our children, helping protect them or even coming to our rescue the way that the Finchs' neighbors did for them.

The story is told by six year girl Scout Finch (real name is Jean Louise).  She and her older brother Jem (real name is Jeremy) spend much of their time running around town with Dill (Charles Baker Harris), the nephew of their neighbor Rachel, who visits each summer.  The children are obsessed with seeing their mysterious neighbor known as Boo Radley who has disappeared from everyone's eyes for many years, under strict house arrest by his father.  The first half of the novel is about the wacky adventures that the children scheme to gain a glimpse of Boo.  They are delighted to find remnants of him in the tree that borders the Radley property.  Jem finds trinkets in a hole of the tree on his walk home from school.  He suspects that it must be Boo sending him and Scout gifts, especially after his old man covers up the hole a few weeks later.

While the haunting of Boo Radley takes place, Maycomb becomes consumed by a trial of Tom Robinson, a local colored man accused of raping and abusing Mayella Ewell, a young white woman and daughter of one of the most worthless and despicable citizens in town.  Attorney Atticus Finch, the father of Scout and Jem, is appointed to defend Mr. Robinson.  Nearly everyone in Maycomb believes that Tom is guilty of the crime.  Atticus knows better though, but the citizens resent him for trying to protect Tom according to the law.  Atticus is spit on for his heroic efforts while Scout and Jem are teased at school for their father's actions.

As the trial unfolds you realize the rough life that Mayella had for being a Ewell.  She had no friends and took comfort in the reoccurring assistance that Tom Robinson gave her with daily chores.  She mistook his kindness for affection though and made unwanted sexual advances towards Tom.  When her father caught her, she became humiliated and he beat her badly. Tom ran from the scene looking guilty when he was actually innocent.

Although Atticus argued a good case with evidence of Tom's innocence, the jury convicted him. Tom is later shot and killed while trying to escape from prison.  All of these events shake the children's ideals and spirits, especially Jem who was once an idealist and believer in true justice.  He is just coming to terms with an unfair world where fellow man doesn't see things clearly, but rather in just "black" or "white" like the color of the skins around them.

Scout on the other hand is young, naive and brilliant all at the same time.  She doesn't see color when she looks at folks.  Scout just sees everyone in town as "folks" and promptly says so.  Atticus offer her a very valuable peice of advice at the beginning of the story, which is the main lesson of the book--

"Learn a simple trick, Scout (Atticus tells her).  You'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks if you consider things from their point of view.  You can never really understand another person unless you climb into his skin and walk around in it." 


This concept is demonstrated so beautifully in my absolute favorite scene in the book -- when Atticus faces a lynch mob that is meant for Tom the night before his trial.  Jem, Scout and Dill sneak out of the house to find Atticus and run right into the hateful group.  Atticus begs them to go home but the kids refuse.  Scout recognizes Mr. Cunningham, a townsmember that she knows.  She speaks to him kindly, telling him that she attends school with his son and thinks he is a nice boy.  After this conversation, Mr. Cunningham has a change of heart and orders the rest of the mob to leave Atticus and Tom alone that night.  Without even realizing it, Scout saved her father and Tom Robinson from what could have been an awful fate.  All because her words caused Mr. Cunningham to see things for a child's point of view -- that they're all just people living in the same town, with children the same age.  When Mr. Cunningham allows himself to see the world through Scout's eyes, he can't bring himself to harm Tom or Atticus.

At the very end of the novel, Scout learns to think from Boo Radley's point of view.  She regrets never thanking him for his kindness and the gifts that Boo gave Jem and her.  She wishes that they wouldn't have bothered him for so long and that he wasn't such a lonely, scared recluse. 

Lots of things happen in between what I've described above but I don't want to give away the entire novel....  I've probably said too much already.....

I can't begin to touch upon all of the neighbors and unique folks of Maycomb.  But I'd like to mention the most memorable ones for me. 

First and foremost of course is Scout, the vicacious six-year old tomboy who can't stand to wear dresses or be left behind by her older brother Jem.  She is the real gem of the story, in my opinion.  As narrator you learn everything through her eyes which make this story of honor and justice all the more endearing and human. 

There's big brother Jem who internalizes every facet of life and wants nothing more than to make his father proud and play football.  He is a decent sibling to Scout, even when he feels the town has turned on him.  Jem is the kind of brother that looks out for you and walks you to school, a real tender heart. 

Atticus is the hard working father who spends time reading and sharing stories with his kids.  He's a widow just doing the best he can for his children.  Atticus is wiser than he lets on to be and even more talented than he reveals to Scout and Jem, which is why they are so astonished to learn that he's an accurate, deadly shot with a rifle.  He never shows a lack of disrespect for anyone and for that, he is very well respected by his closest neighbors.

There is Aunt Alexandra, Mrs. Dubose, Miss Maudie, Miss Stephanie and Miss Rachel -- all of whom are pieces of work themselves but in different regards!  There is the lovable, spunky maid Calpurnia who is like Scout and Jem's mother in many ways. 

Oh I could go on and on..... I could talk about the crazy ending and how Mr. Ewell got what he deserved for trying to harm children.... but I'll stop here.  Because you should read this novel for yourself, if you haven't already! 

I mean it!  This is definitely THE one book out of the four ones I have read and reviewed this month that you absolutely should take the time to read.  Your local library will most certainly have it so there's no excuse for you not to study it!  Call now to reserve it or drive there now to check it out.  I bet you'll be in awe of Harper Lee's story-telling abilities and how she details place, people and events, just like I am.

As I stated before, the best part of the book, for me, was that the story was being told through their eyes of a child like Scout.  I really loved that about "To Kill A Mockingbird" and also in "The Poisonwood Bible" with Ruth May and her sisters.  

That concept has got me thinking about how I wish to shape my own writing in the future.  I am captivated by reading/seeing events unfold and revealed from different people's viewpoints.  Since I often have a "middle of the road" kind of personality, I enjoy learning about things from multiple sides. I don't believe that one way is always the right way.  Why not cover it from every angle and each character possible? This allows me to think deeply and challenge me.   I enjoy that immensely.  I'd like to incorporate this style into my own creativity someday. 

And this completes my last book review of the month.  I'll make one final post about this literacy challenge, the books I read and what I learned from the overall experience.  Stay tuned for that later this week.  I'll also be revealing my challenge for May. 

My Review of "The Poisonwood Bible" - A "bible" I can read and remember!

I did it!  I completed 543 pages of an entire novel.  Holy cow, I didn't think this was possible when I started this literacy challenge on April 1st. 

But Barbara Kingsolver's "The Poisonwood Bible" kept my attention the ENTIRE time.  In fact, for over a week now, I outright ignored my 2.5 year old daughter as I finished section after section.  You can just picture me pushing her in a swing on our outdoor patio, with one hand on the swing and the other one flipping pages in the book.  That was me all weekend long and even this morning as I chowed down on the last few chapters. 

Spoiler Alert:  If you haven't read this book and you want to, you may want to consider skipping this post.  I reveal lots of things about the novel that may ruin it for you!   Sorry, I can't help it!

This book consumed me with intrigue, just like the characters in the novel were consumed with guilt and the need to understand their place in this world.  As I read the stories, I cried twice, laughed out loud more than a dozen times and hung my mouth open in utter shock on more times than I can count.

Where do I begin to explain this bible of a book?  Reading the story of the Price family makes me wish that I had recently read the Christian bible, King James version.  (Confession:  I have not opened the pages of that book in over a decade now.  If I had, would I view this book differently?) 

"The Poisonwood Bible" had me thinking a lot about my own spirtual confusion and religious uncertainties.  I've mentioned them here on this blog before, many months ago.  But that is a topic that I can't dive into today.  That is for a later post.  Or perhaps even it's own monthly (or rest-of-my-life) challenge that I will endure soon. 

This post is about this beautifully written, tragic and triumph story by Mrs. Kingsolver, told through the eyes of four daughters and their guilt-stricken mother.  I loved the story and the five women who told it. 

My favorites were reading the plot from sisters Rachel and Ruth May's points of view.  Out of the four sisters, I am most like the twins Leah and Adah.  Therefore, that is why I preferred reading the accounts from the eyes of Rachel and Ruth May. 

Rachel is the materialistic, self-centered eldest daughter.  I couldn't stop laughing when the ants were crawling all over the village and they were fleeing to the river but she ran back to grab her hand-held mirror.  And of course, her mispronunciation of so many common words was very comical to me as well.  Rachel is consumed with worldy possessions, instead of the real world around her.  She elbowed her way to safety out of the Congo and through several husbands until she obtained the life she dreamed of.   She is the Scarlett O'Hara of the story, doing whatever it takes to get what she wants and have the good life.  Love her or hate her, she remains true to her very selfish nature through the end.  For that, I kind of admire her.  She is who she is.   

Ruth May is the almost-innocent, comical five year old.  From the first moment she discussed her fears of being boiled in a pot by African assumed-cannibals to her playing "Mother, May I?" with the village children, I simply adored her.  She was just as a child should be -- a little daring, a little defiant and full of charm.  Her death had me in absolute tears. I had a feeling after I read the mother Orleanna's words in the beginning of the novel regarding three daughters being on land and one in the red soil that one of them was going to die. And for some reason, I suspected it would be Ruth May because of her youth and naivety. Still I was stunned at the circumstances that caused her death and how it affected me. I glanced over at my two year old baby imagining how I'd deal with that tragedy.  I wept at the end when Ruth May (a.ka. the eyes from the trees) was telling her mother to forgive herself regarding her death and all that happened in the Congo.

Leah made such an opposite transition -- from devout daughter and believer in God Almighty to a disobedient, independent who later prayed to pagan gods, earth, inanimate objects and more in order to keep her beloved family safe from harm.  She is the ultimate believer in justice even despite all she endures.  Leah found herself in Africa and made a real home there.  Still for decades she was filled with visions of hope with the help of her soulmate Anatole. While she spent most of the novel suffering for the color of her white skin in a world of dark Africans, in the final chapters she saw the blurred color lines in her own four children. You have to admire her courage and her strength.  I think she is more like her mother than she realizes.  

Adah, the crippled sister spent more than half the story feeling left behind in her own dark thoughts, refusing to speak even though she could.  She felt abandoned by the world, especially from her mother and twin sister Leah.  At first I didn't know whether to shrug my shoulders at her or join her backwards verse and poetry club, as I love Emily Dickinson too.  Adah, in my opinion, makes the biggest transformation of all the sisters when she later gains control of her once limp physical arm, leg and that supposed delayed part of her brain.  She goes on to medical school and learns about the diseases that plagued her family and the people of Congo for all of civilization.  Still, Adah has a hard time grasping her new "normal" life and never forgets who she was and how she once viewed life.  In many ways, that will always "cripple" her from utter happiness. 

The mother, Orleanna lives under the shadow of her overbearing reverend husband Nathan.  Rarely does she ever stick up for herself or her girls.  When she does, she is told to "shut up," or her favorite china pan is broken in two.  You find yourself shouting at her, "Leave!  Find a way to get out with your daughters, damn it!"  Then later on you hear the real story on why Reverend Price has come to be the overbearing, hellfire and brimstone Southern Baptist man that he is and you realize why she stays with him.  Orleanna does the best she can for her girls and tries to keep them accustomed to their American ways in the beginning.  Later she goes from the woman who hid Betty Crocker cake mixes and other possessions in her pockets as she traveled to Africa to a woman who lives in a Georgia shack and hardly wears shoes. 

When the mother Orleanna explained why Ruth May was her "favorite" of the four daughters, I didn't know whether to roll my eyes in disgust or admire her pure honesty. Since I only have one child now, I don't have her dilemma. But I've often wondered if every parent has a favorite among two or more of their children.  Not that you love one of children more or less, but how a parent internalizes liking one more and how to deal with that favoritism.  At the end of the novel Adah asks her why Ruth May was favored during the ant destruction then later why she was chosen to ride in the ferry boat over Leah. Orleanna explains to Adah that notion of placement -- a mother can only baby her youngest first, then go up from there.  The youngest ones need her the most and that is that. 

The father, Reverend Nathan Price -- where do you begin with him?  His desire to baptize every child in the Congo with no consideration and compromise to what the river's waters really mean to the villagers becomes his downfall.  Nathan never sees any concept or belief other than his way.  For his way is "God's way".  He is preaching the gospel like it was "Jesus Christ" himself.  You spend the majority of the story hating him and wanting to throw him to the crocodiles.  At least, I did.  Then his wife Orleanna tells his story of being wounded in the war and how he came back a changed man.  After that, you pity him.  You know he has no chance of happiness and no chance at bringing salvation to this place where he uprooted his entire family to their almost doom.  In the end though, I suppose he did get what he wanted and deserved.

There are so many underlying themes in this book.  The biggest one that comes to my mind, however, is the importance of place -- both in where the Price family members make their home (in Africa vs. American soil) and where the girls lie in order of birth (the youngest to the oldest daughter) because that chronological offspring placement makes a huge impact in the story.  Other themes in this book include racism, class systems, democracy, religion, family ties, guilt, nature, etc. etc.  You name it, this novel covers it, in some small way. 

Each member of the Price family had a different mindset and a different goal.  Their stories covered several decades full of war, tragedy and acts of courage.  I won't even divulge into the political aspects of the novel.  Because, for me, the book was mostly about the family and their differences.  I think Rachel said it best when she revealed the following:  "What happened to us in the Congo was simply the bad luck of two opposite worlds crashing into each other, causing tragedy.  After something like that, you can only go on with your own way according to what's in your heart.  And in my family, all our hearts seem to have whole different things inside."

That was probably the smartest observation that Rachel made throughout the entire novel.  Each of the ladies had their own way of moving on (or not letting go) of their past experiences.  In the end, I believe that they all were a little wiser in the ways of life, nature and the essence of mankind. 

Kingsolver's book truly amazed me as an aspiring writer.  The intricate details that she put into describing the places and its people was beautiful and breathtaking.  As I said, the "place" is just as important to the story as its characters in this book.

I realize after reading this story that the setting is my current biggest hang-up -- Months ago, I began a book draft of colorful characters but have not found a "place" for them to dwell yet.  I haven't determined where they live and where they will go.  As a writer, I forgot how important the place is and means to the story.  I am determined, however, to follow-up with some homework on this topic.  Perhaps I will even use next month's challenge to explore the idea of place and history to a novel or short story. 

Kingsolver's "The Poisonwood Bible" is quite a work of art, even though it's filled with grief and horrific events.  The author shifts between characters and time frames but still captivates the reader with each unfolding word and point of view.  This book is a true gift and I definitely recommend it to others. 

How Do You Prefer To Read?

I am now on my last book for this month's literacy challenge and thankfully I'm more than half-way through! (The "Poisonwood Bible" is incredibly good, so far!)  With all this reading that I've been doing over the past four weeks, I wonder how my style compares to others.   In other words, how do you prefer to read?  What format do you like?  What are your strategies to get through a book, if any?

For example, my friend Jonita the Book Chick loves her paperbacks.  My pal Anne of Annie Bakes reads from her Kindle.  Young adult fiction writer Stephanie of Steph in the City says she loves her audio books and listens to them while driving.  What fits your lifestyle best? 

After this challenge is complete, I want to keep up with reading more classics and modern stories but I'll admit that it's hard to find time to sit and read with a toddler constantly vying for my attention.  Therefore, I plan to download more classic stories and put them on my MP3 player. 

I figure it's the perfect way to "read" books while I stay busy cooking, folding laundry or jogging on my treadmill.  I still want to have that occasional paperback between my fingertips but the listening part would allow me to "read" more books at a faster pace while multi-tasking my other duties.  I'm going to give it a try, especially since my husband Kirk graciously found a website that lets me "borrow" quite a hefty long list of classic titles, like "Wuthering Heights," "The Cather in the Rye," and other fantastic novels that I haven't read!  Yes, have NOT read, I said. 

Do you have certain reading tactics or strategies for getting through a novel?  I have a confession -- I peek ahead.  Quite a bit.  I don't read more than a line or two.  But I can't help myself!  I'm nosy curious and want a glimpse of what is to come.  I'm very impatient in that regard.  I also have a tendency to count the number of pages in a chapter before I read it.  Therefore, I know how long I have until the next part and I can estimate about how long it will take me to complete the section.  I don't do this for every single chapter but I do it often, nonetheless. 

Are you the type that stays up all night to finish a book?  Or do you take your time and use a bookmark?  I have to read in parts.  I always have a book mark or old card from a relative/friend to hold my place.  I doubt that I've ever stayed up all night to finish reading a book, unless it was for a college or high school class assignment.  I just get distracted with other things in my daily routine, even if I'm really into a story.  Plus I pee ten times a day or more so I have to put it down.  ;-)

While reading, do you like quiet or background noise?  Do you prefer reading indoors our outdoors?  I can do both.  Quiet is preferred but I've learned to adapt to Sesame Street blaring from the television for the sanity of my two year old daughter.   Inside or outside makes no difference to me.  If I'm in the sun for too long though, I'll inevitably want a nap before I turn too many pages. 

Do you find yourself attracted to the same type of genres or authors?  Or do you branch out to try something totally different?  I will admit that I like women's fiction best, especially southern literature that involves friendships and life lessons.  But I am willing to branch out.  That's pretty obvious with my April literacy challenge I suppose.  However, a few years ago, I opted to read a Clive Cussler science fiction novel not thinking I would finish it.  Surprisingly, I did really enjoy it.  I would be willing to read more science fiction in the future. 

How do you obtain your stories?  I haven't bought too many books lately, except for cookbooks.   In fact, I held a cookbook giveaway almost a year ago with one of the most comical and delectable pieces of literature out there ("I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence" by Amy Sedaris).  Kelly at My Voice, My View was the lucky winner.   I prefer to borrow the books I read from a friend or a library.  Or I'll buy them at discount prices.  My good friend Jen at Two Kids and a Map lent me her copy of "To Kill A Mockingbird" for this literacy challenge and I'm grateful to her. 

Do you share your books with others?  I definitely believe in sharing books.  Often a book will remind me of a friend and I'll surprise that person by sending her/him my copy with a handwritten note inside.  I have even sent one of my recent favorites to Cathy at Antsy Pants for her reading pleasure.  She returned the favor by sending me something she thought I'd like to read.  (I haven't read it yet, Cathy, but I will.  I promise.  And very soon!)  I've also been known to donate my books to libraries or schools.  I have even left them intentionally on airplane seats so that some lucky passenger will pick up the book, read it and hopefully pass it to someone else.  A pay-it-forward for books, I suppose.  

In my opinion, it doesn't matter what you read as long as you are reading.  Everyone has different interests.  Just pick up a book, a magazine, a newspaper or whatever your fancy to get your brain cells leaping into new heights. I can honestly say that taking on this literacy challenge has been very good for my mind and soul.  I'm questioning things in life that relate to the stories.  I'm thinking more deeply than before.  Yes, that's possible.  Don't be sassy with me!  The dilemmas in these books make me ponder what would happen if it were real and how I'd react to the plot.  I'm studying deep into the characters, the setting and the intricate details that these lovely writers have written for me to inhale.  

Reading more often has helped me think about how I can improve my own writing skills (hopefully).  And it's making me realize why I've hit a standstill at some of my ideas that I started and tucked away weeks and months ago too.   I have homework to do now but I actually want to complete it.  I'm in my own school of thought and the only grade being given is the one I offer to myself, not some tenured professor.   

I definitely want to continue this reading journey and see where it takes me next.  Stay tuned for two more book reviews next week.  If you want to find a great book reviewer in the mean time, please check out Jonita, my friend The Book Chick.  She is one of the fastest readers I know and she writes reviews every few days, not to mention offers free book giveaways on a regular basis.  She's awesome!  I highly recommend you hopping over to her site or even emailing her if you have a question about a book to try; she's probably read it or knows something about it, I guarantee. 

In the mean time, I have a book to finish.  So far, I'm taking notes on it that range from laughing out loud to slow tears to sheer astonishment.  My kind of book!  :-)

What are you reading right now?  Anything you want to recommend to me next? 

H2O (a poem)

Drink it
Play in it
Crave it
Be a slave to it
Watch it drip down your face


Purify
Misty sky
Thunder booms around it
Boiled or cool?
Don't pee in the pool


Oil won't mix
So will it fix...
The problems of today?
As you spray your lawn
From dusk til dawn

Maddening

Refreshing

Bottled or canned

64 ounces a day

Why are you on my mind this way?

You help us thrive

We need you to survive

With us until the end

Filling the river bend

Mother Nature's and our dear friend.

Happy Earth Day! 

Be sure you stop and thank the essentials to your life today!  :-)

In Sickness And In Health

Christopher and Dana Reeve

None of us want to imagine a day when our partner is sick, hurt or dying.   No one likes to see their spouse or family member suffer.

Love is such a risk because it means that you could oneday lose the person you cherish most.  Still, true love is utterly fantastic and I weep for those who have never experienced it in their lives -- to be loved and to feel love is such an important gift. 

The picture above is of Christopher and Dana Reeve, who in my mind is the ultimate loving couple who never gave up on each other, even through their tragic ends.  We can all learn by their humble, beautiful example.

These deep thoughts are on my mind lately because I have been experiencing some minor health issues.  I say "minor" because I do not think I have a serious condition.  Just some reoccuring intestinal problems that have become too frequent not to notice or see a physician about.

So that is what I am doing.  I'm seeking the help of a gastrointestinal doctor in hopes that he can treat why I suddenly am plagued with severe vomitting and diarrhea every few weeks.   (Yeah, fun stuff let me tell you~) For now, my test results are coming back normal but I'm having a few further scans done. 

I'm not real worried about my case.  I am simply listening to my body and trying to help it feel better.  I am confident that I will be somewhat normal (If I ever was "normal", that is?) again real soon.  When I have more definitive answers about what is happening with me, I'll share the details here.  But for now, I'm still waiting. 

That's not what this post is about though.  I'm writing this in appreciation and love for my wonderful husband Kirk who has been taking such great care of me throughout this ordeal. 

I want to say (and write) out loud how lucky I am to have him as my life partner, in sickness and in health.  He is true to the vows we took on our wedding day, August 17, 2002. 

He never complains and holds my hand whenever I need him.  He's pulled me off the floor and out of a wheelchair.  He has surprised me with ice cream and endearing phone calls while he's at work.  Kirk has given me dozens of hugs, kisses and sweet embraces, even when I'm doing things like cleaning pots or wiping down the kitchen table.  He forces me to sit down and relax when I need to.  Kirk makes me laugh every single day.  He is everything I could ever want and more in a husband, best friend and comedy duo.  I love him with all my being. 

I try to imagine a world without him and I start to cry within a split second thought of that lonely place where he does not dwell with me.  I sometimes wonder if he becomes seriously ill or hurt, would I be as loving and as strong as he is when he takes care of me?  I hope so. 

I often realize how fortunate I am to have such a compassionate, wonderful person in my life, a man who truly is my biggest fan.  I'm thinking of that right now, actually. 

I love you Kirk.  I know you don't need me to write a public blog post about my feelings for you.  I know that this is not your style.  Still, I wanted to remember my thoughts at this moment.  And right now, I am loving you, missing you and longing to have you in my arms.  I love you so much.

Thank you for choosing me as your wife almost eight years ago.  Thank you for loving me, in sickness and in health, just like you said you would. 

Why the "Getting It On" Book is Getting Put Back On The Shelf

You may remember how I received the book "Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parents' Guide To Getting It On Again" through a funny mishap and a kooky librarian at my local library.  I felt as if this book had fallen into my hands for a reason and that I should read it as part of my April literacy challenge.





However, even though the title is comical and the cover makes me giggle, the book is no laughing matter.  The topic of sex or lack thereof mentioned throughout this book is a pretty serious discussion.  And to be quite honest, this topic is not one that I can relate to or enjoy reading about. 


Now, I'm not saying that I am a sex goddess or sex kitten, but I don't have problems doing the deed with my husband.  And I had no reservations about doing it with Kirk after our daughter Vivian was born in October of 2007.  In fact, I cheated half way through the first six weeks after she was born.... in other words, Kirk and I had sex, twice, before the "six-week safe zone."  I'm not advocating that this is normal or that other couples should be doing that before a post partum checkup.  But for me, I wanted to reconnect with Kirk.  I listened to my body and felt like I could handle it.  I had a very normal vaginal delivery with no tearing or issues down under.  Plus, I missed Kirk.  So why not?  We went for it and neither of us regret it to this day.  If we have another child in the future, things may be different for us though....


So as you can see, I had a hard time getting into the groove of this book's theme.  In my opinion, this book is for a woman who is so wrapped up in her baby that she can't look beyond the child (or children) to make time for her spouse.  I'm not that person.  OR this book is for a husband who is a tad bit selfish and has trouble communicating his needs to his wife.  Kirk is not that person.  In fact, I had a very opposite problem.  I had trouble being in love with my baby for the first several months.  My issues were adjusting to being a mom and all the responsibilities that came along with it.  I had no pause with spending the few moments of quiet time with my husband to be intimate because it was familiar and what I knew best.  Plus, after losing water and pregnancy weight, sex is a lot more comfortable and enjoyable.  At least, for me it was.

So I skimmed this book and did not read it cover to cover as I hoped I would.  Still, when I had to force myself into flipping through it, I knew it wasn't worth my time to dive into every detail. 


This book might be beneficial for a lot of people (Just not me).  I realize that in most cases, couples do have a little trouble resuming intimacy and sexual activity after a child enters their lives.  But.... thankfully, Kirk and I are not most people.  We have very open communications and if it's been too long for either of us, we tell the other person that we miss her/him and want to reconnect.  And the other person happily reciprocates.


No, I needed a different book after Vivian came along....something along the lines of "How Not To Feel Guilty If You're Not In Love With Your Baby And How To Be A Good Mother In Spite Of Those Feelings..."  That would have made a world of difference for me.... not a reconnecting with your husband after baby and finding time to have sex book.  Thankfully, over time, my inadequate mothering feelings did go away. I did learn to be more in love with my beautiful daughter and in the notion of motherhood.  I had to give myself time and work at it though.  Today, I love her and I can even see myself having another child... someday....


Still, for those couples who have problems "getting it on" after a baby's arrival, I can see why this book might be helpful for them.  The authors list lots of good examples of how to move beyond the awkwardness of no sex and how to better communicate with your partner.  They offer "love prescriptions" or homework assignments at the end of each chapter for a husband and wife to work on building their relationship.  In addition, they offer quizzes that help you rate your current intimacy and ways to improve it.  They talk about how to prevent from feeling that the new baby in your life is a third wheel.

A few of the author's suggested ways to ignite the fire between a drowning couple include things like:

• Visit a sex store together to pick out lubes or other toys.
• New dads should get in on the baby action if they wants to get action from mommy. (In other words, if dads help out mom with the baby, then mom will be more inclined to "help" them sexually).
• Couples should have the same sex-pectations - how much and how often should be consistent between both partners or at least a compromise should be reached.  Note that every couple's needs are different and you should NOT compare yourself to others.
• Don't view sex as something on your "to-do" list.  It should be viewed as fun and precious time.
• Women should keep in mind that Men want intimacy and not just sex all the time.  Yes, it's true.  Both have their own insecurities and not having sex fuels those doubts for males and females.
• Find ways to feel more secure about your body and be comfortable during sex.  For starters, take care of your hygiene.  When you look good, you feel good and will be more inclined to sex. 
• Turn off the TV and spend time together instead.
• If at all possible, try to go to bed at the same time.  If you're lying down at the same time at night, chances are you're going to have sex more or at least have cuddle time.

Other things were mentioned in this book but I found some of them to be ridiculous or irrelevant.  But then again, perhaps it's just that the authors wanted to cover every scenario and type of couple possible.  I just didn't see the reality to my situation or to most folks I know.

I love self-help books.  I truly do~  Ones that inspire and offer encouragement are great!  BUT for me, this book is not one that helps me.  This is one area where I know I have a good thing going.  And for that, I'm grateful.  Therefore, I don't feel bad about skimming through the chapters and putting it back on the shelf where it belongs. 

So that's my review and I'm sticking to it~!  

Sorry that I don't have more juicy details for you.  Frankly, I was disappointed in the content and could hardly stand reading it.  But that's okay.  You don't have to like every book you read.  You just have to know when to put it down and not waste any more precious minutes trying to fumble through it.

Plus, now I can focus on my final and LONGEST book in the literacy challenge - "The Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver.  At over 500 pages, I'm afraid that I might not get through it.  But half a dozen friends of mine highly recommended this novel and swear it's a page-turner. 

Hopefully, they're right and I'll beat it before April 30th.  We shall see....

My Review Of Hemingway's "The Old Man And The Sea" - Destroyed, Not Defeated

Throughout Ernest Hemingway's novella, "The Old Man And The Sea," you witness the internal conflict of an elderly gentleman filled with both hope and fear.  Victory and devastation.  Over and over again. 

I read this book as part of my April literacy challenge.  I'm quite sure that I have read it before in one of my high school years or early semesters of college.  I just didn't remember it until I began digesting the language again. 

Speaking of language and writings, don't feel bad if you don't know what a "novella" is either.  I had to look up the definition myself before I began this story.  It means a "short novel" without chapters.  They are written in fiction and are longer and more complicated than a short story.   The positive about this is that it keeps you engrossed in the story and it's not broken up or divided.  The negative about this is that it's not broken up or divided and you can easily lose your place if you're stopping to take your two and half year old to the bathroom every half hour. 

Here are my honest feelings about this work of art: I liked the book.  I truly did.  At a mere 127 pages, it was a quick and easy read.  Yet it's not the kind of reading that I can do on a regular basis.  If it had been 128 pages or longer, then I might have wanted to stab a knife into my brain as the old man did repeatedly to the shark pretators trying to eat his marlin at the end of the story.   Okay, that's a tad bit dramatic I suppose.... In other words, I think Hemingway was wise not to drag out the tale any longer than he did. 

However, I so enjoy Hemingway's simple, yet descriptive language.  He says so much in a short sentence.  His words paint a glorious picture for your mind to finish.  The best and most annoying thing about this novella is the old man talking to himself, going back and forth in confidence and distrust in his abilities at sea and in life.  Every human can relate to this.... how we doubt ourselves and then give ourselves hope.  We start to feel destroyed but realize that we are not defeated.

I cannot imagine being at sea for days at a time like this old fisherman.  What a hard life that must be!  Going fishing a half dozen times with my dad as a young girl and sitting in the boat for hours was enough for me.  I do not have that kind of patience or that desire to be up close and personal with sea creatures. 

The old man, Santiago, in the story repeatedly shows his admiration for the animals in the water.  He compares himself to a turtle at one point, saying his heart would also beat strong for hours, even after being butchered.  He calls the fish he hunts less intelligent than him but more noble and more able.  The old man often feels guilty for killing the fish.  His thoughts of admiration toward animals made me wonder if animals admire us human beings.  Is that even possible? 

You begin to to feel sorry for the man.  He seems lonely, beaten down.  His only friend is a young boy whom he has taught to fish.  His wife has passed on and there are no mention of children or his former working days.  Then you don't pity him because he doesn't pity himself for too long.  You both snap out of it and realize that this is his choice, his life.  He's doing what he believes he is born to do.

Santiago's passion for baseball comes through with continual talks about DiMaggio.  He expresses desire to be at home reading the newspapers with the game updates.  I suppose that may be Hemingway's notion of connecting both the old man (and you, the reader) back to the land.  After all, when you're out at sea for so long, you probably go a bit crazy in the head.  So thinking of something else besides fishing, something on dry land, can put the mind at ease.

Another interesting facet in this story is the old man (and Hemingway's?) association of the sea as being feminine.  He compares the sea to a woman.  It had me thinking that most people do consider things in nature to be female, like "mother earth."  I suppose it's because of feminine beauty and cruelty.  We can dish it out in such dramatic ways, can't we ladies? 

This novella is one that could be read and enjoyed every decade or longer.  It is a simple yet deep thinking kind of book that would be a great choice when one is hitting a milestone or coming to a crossroad in life.  In my humble opinion, "The Old Man and The Sea" should be read, talked about and not easily forgotten. 

Wow, that sounded good, eh?  Do I sound like I know what I'm talking about or what?  ;-) 

I suppose I am good at bullshitting. I also good at reading the online summary and analysis when I finish a story to ensure that my reading comprehension is still in tact after all these years.  No, I didn't cheat!  I just checked to see if my thoughts were accurate as I sometimes feel a bit rusty after my face is pressed against bent pages for hours at a time.

Well, now that I have this thought-provoking story under my reading belt, I'm ready to move onto something a bit more light-hearted and comical.  So my next book is the funny mishap that I shared with you here, "Love in the Time of Cholic: A New Parents Guide To Getting It On Again," instead of my originally chosen "Love in the Time of Cholera." The naughty librarains of the Pensacola library gave it to me and I can't wait to read it.  I hope to soon share my thoughts (and some tips?) on what the authors have to say regarding "getting it on."  :-) 

I have also completed "To Kill A Mockingbird."  That was the first book I finished for my challenge but I'm waiting to talk about it on my blog until my friend Anne at Annie Bakes has finished her copy.  She and I want to dicuss it first before I write about it.  So I will post my review of that one later in the month.  But I will say that I really, really enjoyed it.

Two books are now completed in my April literacy challenge.  Two more books to go....  Not bad considering that half the month is over.  But I have to pick up my reading pace because my last book is over 500 pages and already scaring me!  So off I go to read, read, read! 

Six Months Later, Twenty Pounds Lighter, and A Legend Dies

This weekend marked six months that my family and I have been living here in Pensacola, Florida.  I can hardly believe that 180 days have passed since this new adventure in our lives. 

We've had several exciting things happen to us since our move to the sunshine state.  If you don't mind, I'd like to take a few moments to reflect back on where we've been--

• First we lived in a hotel for five and a half weeks.  Two adults, two pets and a two year old all within close quarters!  It wasn't always pretty but we survived it!   
• Who could forget how I let Kirk color my hair for the first time? 
• Or how about when I thought I locked myself in the hotel bathroom? 
• Then there was the time we brought our baby into a bar for some educational tips and to act as birth control for college students?  Hahahah~ 
• I explored my new community and made new friends. 
• We bought a house and started a new home. 
• Kirk took a trip to the emergency room on New Year's Eve - thank you Miss Daisy!   I took a trip to the ER on March 31st but I haven't written about it yet.
• Vivian started growing a lot of hair.  Now she's becoming even sassier, funnier and well on her way to being potty trained!
• I started a monthly challenge for myself kicking it off with running my first ever 5k race~ 
• I read my first ever classic book, on my terms and without any pushing from an English professor.  (I can't wait to tell you about my thoughts on "To Kill A Mockingbird" either)
• And this doesn't even cover the family visitors we entertained and all the places we've seen since living here either!  

Hmmm, maybe that's why I'm feeling so tired today.  Just thinking about the past six months and my life as the Energizer Bunny is making me weary.... 


I've also reached a personal goal of mine before the end of April 2010, just like I said I would do --  I've lost twenty pounds! 

Yes, one of the first challenges I said (internally to myself) after we moved to Florida is that I wanted to lose weight and be bathing suit ready by summer.  I'm almost there.  I've achieved the pounds lost that I hoped for and now I just want to continue to tone up and feel strong. 

I have worked VERY HARD to lose this weight.  It has not been easy.  I'm no longer 17 years old and I don't have the metabolism of a teenager.  So I began running.  I started doing the Jillian Michaels 30-day shred several times a week.  But most of all, I changed how much I ate and what I ate.  I began cooking from scratch and doubling healthy recipes to freeze and save for later.  When you don't have good, healthy foods on hand, you have a tendency to go out and eat junk.  I've not allowed that to happen.  I keep baked goods and treats on hand, but they are healthier items that I have prepared myself (so I know what ingredients are in them). 


This was me, Fat Mandy, last year (about May 2009).  I was pushing the weight limits for my height and frame:




Here I am now, twenty pounds lighter.  This was taken in my backyard last week:




I'm sorry I don't have better photos to share with you.  Evidently I didn't allow myself to be photographed much last year when I was chubby, because I had a hard time finding a photo of me.  I thought about taking a picture inside of me now, wearing my "fat" jeans so that you can see the weight and inches I've lost; however, our digital camera is temporarily broken until we can have its parts replaced. 

Still, I wanted to share my good news with you!   I set a goal and a deadline for myself and I achieved that goal.  My starting weight was 145 and my weight now is 125.  I hope to never be that much again, unless another pregnancy or baby weight is thrust upon me sometime in the future. 

I'm not embarassed to say, "Hey, I let myself get chubby..."  Because well, it happens to a lot of people.  We let ourselves go.  We get sick.  We have babies.  Our bodies change and we stop looking in the mirror or remembering what we can be.  That's what happened to me.  I made a lot of excuses.  But the fact is that being healthy wasn't a priority of mine until now.  I always found other things to do besides exercise and eat right.  I hope that is now a thing of the past.  I like my life now.  I like who I am and best of all, I don't feel deprived.  After all, I'm not on a diet.  This is now my way of living. 

I will be honest with what I've done to change my routine. If you have questions, ask me.  If I can help others or inspire folks to become healthy and trim down their waistline, I'd love that!  Because I like the strength and energy I feel each day now. If more people felt the way that I do now, just think of what we could accommplish in this world!


Finally, I would like to pay tribute to a lady whom I admire and whose character gave me many laughs, tears and hopes for women everywhere.  Days ago Dixie Carter, the lovely actress who portrayed Julia Sugarbaker on the show "Designing Women" passed away from cancer. 

I loved this show in my college years.  One of my closest dorm room pals and I would often recite lines spoken from the orginal four spunky, outspoken Southern belles.  Julia was my favorite.  She never hesitated to put people in their place yet somehow do it with grace and poise.  She could sing, dance and punch someone's lights out.  When she had her head stuck in the staircase, you laughed and cried along with her.  She was amazing and the kind of life she portrayed is worth remembering. 

I had the pleasure of seeing her sister, Suzanne Sugarbaker, played by actress Delta Burke years ago at a Mardi Gras parade.  She was the grand marshall and threw us cups and trinkets.  My pal Tracy and I caught her attention by yelling, "Sugarbaker!" as she passed by on her float.

I wish I could meet the writer of Julia's rants and speeches from that show.  That person is a true genius with words!  I can only hope and aspire to somehow come close to that writing ability-- to create such a moving, colorful character as she was written for Dixie Carter~!

From one southern belle to another, rest in peace Dixie Carter!  I know that the lights are out in Georgia now with your sweet passing.    Please enjoy these two favorite Julia Sugarbaker scenes of mine....

Vivian: Mistress of the Potty Throne AND Our Second Visit To The Library

Whew, what a week!  I mentioned in my last post that I've taken on the challenge of trying to bathroom train my 2.5 year old along with my other April challenge of literacy. 

What a job!  I'm so worn out. I feel like the instructor for potty training boot camp! Instead of carrying a whistle and jogging six miles each day, I stand upright for hours, armed with flash cards and books. Then we take turns hopping, skipping and running to the bathroom.  But it feels like I've done 500 pushups and not slept for a week. 

Honestly, I don't want to complain about it since Vivian is doing very well (so far; I hope I'm not jinxing it with this post!)  She had only one accident yesterday and today.  In fact, she even peed in two different  public toilets today -- the library and a local coffee shop.  So it was a public potty party victory dance for both of us! 

Yes, after staying home and feeling chained to the commode all week long, I HAD to get out today!  I was nervous and decided to put her in a pull-up; however, she didn't leak in it at all. 

She did keep me on my toes though as when I was waiting my turn in the bank drive-thru, she said the words "gotta potty."  So I backed out (after checking that no cars were behind me), pulled into the lobby parking lot and walked up to the door to find it LOCKED.  The bank wasn't open yet so Vivian stood with her hands on her crotch while I paced back and forth for two minutes before 9 o'clock and the doors were opened.  There was no public bathroom in the bank but the teller took pity on me and let use the employee toilet.  And after all that drama, Vivian didn't do a thing!  Oh well, what can you do?!  Hope for that pot of gold next time!

That bank transaction sums up the process of potty training for Viv and me....  For every successful number one or number two she completes in the potty, there are anywhere from five to a dozen false alarms.  So I'm in the bathroom A LOT throughout the day and only receiving a tip about five to seven times per day.  That is why you jump up and down like a monkey when it happens.... you're thinking.... FI-NALLY!

And you can't get embarassed over the potty either.  I spent half my morning carrying around one of those potty seat inserts as plain as day for all the patrons to see.  I even went into the men's room at the coffee shop when I saw a line formed outside the ladies room. When a two year old tells you she needs to potty, you don't wait and don't care the gender of the room you enter. You somehow grow nerves of steel.

I wish I could take credit for her awesomeness on the potty and say I'm the queen of the commode.  But really it's all her.  Henceforth, she is now named "Viva the Potty Diva".  Or perhaps I should call her "Vivian, Mistress of the Potty Throne."  Think of Xena the Warrior Princess but smaller, with no protective gear, giggles and butt cheeks that won't quit!

Vivian is the master of her domain.  She takes no pause when she sits on her throne.   In fact, she rather enjoys barking orders to me, the ass-wiping attendant.  Then I dance around like a jester as she steps down.  It's quite the royal affair, let me tell you! 

With all this prancing around and pampering, I've not made the time to do as much reading as I had hoped for this week.  BUT I am half-way through my first book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" for my literacy challenge.  I really love the book so far.  I won't say anything more about it though until I read the entire novel and can give a full assessment of it.

I did manage to make a second trip to the library, since I'm trying to go once a week with Vivian this moth for our reading challenge.  Today's visit was not as eventful or as entertaining as the first visit I wrote about.  No boobs and sex stories were spoken.  No scandalous books were given to me.  The staff was very kind and helpful though in other ways.  Since I encountered two different persons from the last trip, I told them about the hilarious book I was given as a mishap.  They chuckled over the incident. 

No, the most interesting thing that happened at the library was Vivian shouting that she had to potty very loudly while browsing the children's section and later having a meltdown when I told her she couldn't take the basket of crayons from the table.  So, I'm sorry to disappoint you.  I was let down from the lack of drama as well.  But I guess you can't expect another story quite as funny as the first one I detailed. 

Viv scored some great new books this week, including "Amelia Bedelia," one of my childhood favorites.  I also discovered a series called "Super Fly Guy" that I find adorable about a boy and his pet fly.  Perhaps I should consider writing a children's book or young adult fiction.  I seem to light up when I find a witty, colorful story that kids read.  And I sure am enjoying the adventures of the two children in "To Kill A Mockingbird." 

Children really are a source of good entertainment!  I know from personal experience now that I've never quite laughed as often (and as hard) or had as many comical tales to tell since Viva the Diva has come along in my life. 





Maybe she'll inspire me to write about our adventures someday.   I hope so.  :-)







p.s. - Thanks for your advice and comments on my last post.  Sorry I haven't been by your place to return the favor.  I've been in potty-land instead of the blogosphere.  After we flush and wipe, we'll stop by your sites for fuel and food.  :-)

Another Challenge I'm Taking On (a.k.a. PT Adventures) ~

I am taking on another challenge this month and have started it this week.  It has nothing to do with reading or literacy but I feel it might be the one that makes or breaks me.  Do you want to know what it is? 

I will give you a few hints:

• Mandy to Vivian: "Stop touching your vagina!" (thinking to herself - I don't want you to end up like porn star Jenna Jameson for crying out loud!!!)

• I am glancing at my watch every fifteen to twenty minutes so I can go into the bathroom.

• Every grunt and noise has me paranoid that something is leaking from an orifice.

Have you guessed yet?  I'm tackling the daunting task of POTTY TRAINING!   (Or just simply PT to us moms that are in the know.  PT is code for potty training.  Don't you feel special knowing that now?)   I am on day three now of this new adventure..... Aaaaaahhhhh! 

Non-parents will probably never understand the huge deal that occurs when your child goes poo-poo or pee-pee in the potty.  I know I didn't when I was childless. 

In fact, I never pictured myself jumping up and down, acting like a fool over my kid doing something that we adults do every day, and all day long in my case.  But here I am, throwing potty parties all day long now!  I make going to the bathroom so much fun that Vivian is asking me to go in there just so she can probably watch me act like a seal. 

These past three days have seemed sooooooooo long.  They are quite boring too when you're in the bathroom every twenty minutes like I am.  Every time Vivian begins to grab her crotch area, I march her up the stool and onto the toilet. 

Oh, You don't have to say it!  I know you're jealous of me.  My life is so glamorous after all.

Believe me, if I could have somehow managed to give birth to a child already potty trained, I would have done it or paid any amount to get it!  In fact, I purposely chose my dog at five months old instead of selecting a puppy because I didn't want to deal with potty training.  Our dog Bono was even crate trained when we got him.  That is truly amazing too considering how stupid he really is.  Gawd love him but he is not a smart dog (say it in a Forrest Gump accent, please, for emphasis). 

I remember how I recorded every time that Viv ate, peed and pooped from the day she was born until she was about six or seven months old.  I wrote out the date, time and what she did (numero uno or dos). 

I'm wondering if I should do that again now or if that would be overkill?  I could keep a potty diary and even take photos of her specimens.  Wouldn't that make a wonderful scrapbook for the years to come?  Maybe even use it as a form of birth control for when she becomes a teenager? 

Picture reads: Birth Control: Because if you aren't careful, one of these could be yours.  (Love it!~)

So far, my "potty diary" for Vivian would be something like this below:

Day One (April 5, 2010): You pooped in the potty.  Good job!  Maybe we got lucky because I know you didn't have a bowel movement yesterday.  You began to grunt like a caveman so I knew it was only a matter of time.   You also peed in the potty.  Way to go!  But you had four accidents, three with panties on, one on the booster seat, two on the carpet and one on the bathroom rug.  That wasn't very fun to clean up but we'll deal with it.

Day Two (April 6, 2010):  No successful pee peeing on the potty BUT one very successful, very LARGE poop in the potty!  I'll never forget this incident because Kirk was home and able to witness your specimen.  Together we cheered, clapped and danced around like idiots to show you how proud we were.  Then Kirk looked into the toilet and couldn't belive that all that shit came from your tiny body.  He even asked me if I pooped in there too just before you did because it was entirely too much waste for your small frame.  I told him that you may be small but you know how to pack it in and to just think of all the diapers he has missed out on changing!  Aaah, fun times in our home!

Day Three so far (April 7, 2010): Two successful pee pees in the potty and one accident outside on the patio.  I'm walking around on Cloud 9 and skippin' around like Mary Friggin' Poppins, I'm so happy.  It's insane at how joyful I feel just for the mere fact that you've peed in the potty twice today.  However, I have pretty much given up on putting you in underwear this week.  I am letting you go around the house stark naked.  I don't understand why you can't stop touching yourself though.  I wish you'd stop that.  I especially wish you'd stop putting your fingers near your face afterwards too.  That is just NOT sanitary! 


Thoughts/Comments:  Oh well, the good news is that we are hitting our daily book quota for Vivian.  In fact, we may be reading double or triple the twelve books I mentioned in my April literacy challenge.  Reading books on the potty is ideal, after all.  It prevents Vivian from pulling on her vagina while she is peeing and it prevents me from doing something embarassing for at least thirty seconds to three minutes. 

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Are you still awake?  Yeah, that potty diary put me to sleep too.  Okay, so tracking the poop and pee is not a good idea.  After all, I don't want this blog to always be about someone going to the bathroom in my house.  Maybe some day we can get past these bodily functions and have more serious discussions on life and liberty. 

For now though, you'll have to excuse me.  I need to check Vivian's bathtub to see if our cat Sam has pooped and peed in it again today.  Apparently, he felt he was missing out on the potty training fun and did his business in the bathroom where I could find it this morning, instead of his litter box.

Then after that, I need to pooper scoop the backyard since I stepped in dog poop earlier today while hula hopping with Vivian.  Apparently, the dog is jealous of the potty parties too. 

So as much as I would like to think about something other than pee or poop, it just isn't happening today!  I'll think about that tomorrow though.  After all, tomorrow is another day....