For some reason the lyrics to this Patti Labelle song has been stuck in my head....
"I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes
Know where I'm goin' and I know what to do
I tidied up my point of view
I got a new attitude"
I love Patti's line about tidying up her attitude. I've been doing that with my own mind lately. Even with the small success of my cookbook and the attention of my other blog, I was beginning to get down on myself.... experiencing that low after you have a great big high in your life. I found myself getting snippy and snappy and more judgmental toward others. Frankly, I didn't like it! So I adjusted my attitude for the better.
I was telling my good friend Jen yesterday how I have to work at being positive sometimes. It's just in my family blood to think more on the negative side, to be prepared for the worst scenario. But I'm really trying to change that. I am working diligently at being more thankful and more grateful in my life. For the past week, it's been working too!
Several of my friends have asked me recently, "You haven't been writing on your blog lately. What's up?" I didn't have an answer for them. And for the first time in a long time, I really didn't care that I have been absent here.
Don't get me wrong, I love this blog. I love reading other blogs and hearing from readers and commenters. But well.... instead of writing about my life, I've been living my life and relishing in the moment these days! And it's been great!
In fact, I've been consistently happy and worry-free for almost a week..... A WHOLE WEEK now..... who knew it was possible! I haven't even read any self-help books or seen a therapist either.
No, I have just spent a lot of good, quality time with my daughter. I've been talking to friends or meeting up with friends almost every day. I've been hugging my husband more. I've been petting my dog more. I've just been looking at my situation and my surroundings and thinking to myself..... wow, I have it pretty good! I should be grateful! I am grateful!
I mean gosh, why do we shy away from celebrations and good news? Why do we let others' happiness make us feel less inadequate about ourselves? I am guilty of it. I hear someone's good story and think for an instant.... "That b*#%&!" Why does she live this charmed life and get what she wants?!" Then I catch myself in the mirror and think.... "Geez Mandy, why don't you just be happy for her or him!" So that has been my mindset lately.... be happy for myself and be happy for others!
And just to remind myself of the charmed life that I lead, I'm going to create a short list of things that I have to be happy about right now!
(1) I was a cover girl for a day. How many people can say that? My face was on the cover of a newspaper and I had a whole feature written about my cookbook and me. That's pretty frickin' cool! I am honored and humbled by it and glad that I can share this with my family. Big thanks to my parents who wrote to the Pensacola Editor to make the story happen! So instead of worrying about what book or what thing I will write next (because right now, I don't have a clue??), I'm just going to enjoy and accept what I have already done and not worry so much. The future project or concept will come to me when it's ready to reveal itself. Until then, hey I was a cover girl. So there!
(2) I have an amazing kid. And lately, she's been well-behaved, eating her dinner every night and cracking me up with her comedy routine. We had a rough few weeks with her meltdowns and hunger strikes! I had to really toughen up and be a mean mama giving her zero chances, throwing water in her face and more! And well, she straightened up, for now anyway! For the past week, she's been a perfectly pleasant kid. No time-outs, no real whining. Just a joy to be around. She's even been sleeping in, past 7am nearly every morning! It's a rare, heavenly thing so I just want to be thankful and appreciative of her these days. Last week we spent an entire day together just watching movies and playing in her room. She was attentive and affectionate and just beaming all day long to have her happy mom all to herself. So I'm working harder to pay attention to her needs, to give in to some of her wants when they are justified and easy to do and simply adore her for the wonderful being she is becoming. After all, I really love this kid of mine:
Confession: For awhile, I was really focused on having another child. I was starting to become obsessed and consumed by it. I really wanted to give Vivian a younger sibling. I was stressing myself over it and getting upset when seven months had gone by without anything happening.... I was crying and beating myself over it, etc, etc,..... WELL, I've decided to stop that way of thinking! I mean honestly.... it's only been seven months. It takes some people YEARS to conceive. Some women NEVER have a child. I was just lucky with Vivian - she came along on the second try. So I put things into better perspective. From now on, I'm just going to be grateful for the ONE child I have.... and if another one comes along, great! Fine! If not, I'll be okay with that too. I really will be. I'm tired of thinking about what I do NOT have. Instead, I want to do a better job being a great mom and appreciating the one kid that I do have! So far, things are going well in that department!
(3) I am hitting a good stride even though I don't know what is coming next?! I haven't decided what my next "project" or "goal" will be. But for once, I'm not worried over it. I know it will just hit me like a ton of bricks when the time is right. And do I always need a challenge anyway? Perhaps my challenge should be just to live the day to day and enjoy myself more? I'm becoming more settled but is that really a bad thing? I don't think so! I'm spending more time with my family and friends in the community and it feels great! I'm trying to encourage and give back to others when I can. At the very least, I try to share my baked goodies and make someone else laugh on a weekly basis. I've got a friend coming to visit me soon, a trip that I'm very excited about. There is just so much GOOD in this world even despite all the BAD you hear about! And that's what I'm focusing on.... that's where my head is these days! And it feels wonderful and like it should be!
I hope you are hitting a good stride as well and that your attitude is a decision that you make each day.... because it really is when you stop and think about it!
Have a great day! Have a positive attitude! And just be thankful for the things going right in your life right now!