Wha Cha Doing? Where you going? What comes next?

"Wha Cha Doing?"  I hear this phrase by my three year old girl ALL DAY LONG every day now.  It's either that or she asks me, "Where you going?"  Or "What comes next, mommy?" 

So in honor of my ever-inquisitive daughter Vivian, I will answer her questions and hopefully offer some updates and insights into our recent life happenings and daily routine.  Here goes:

Wha Cha Doing? 
What am I doing?  Lots of things and a lot of nothing too.  Let's see.  I'll mention the daily, basic parts of my week.... Yesterday I sat for three hours in a coffee shop trading stories, laughter and insight with a friend.  I later watched a movie and lounged on the couch.  It was great!  

Today I delivered food to a family in need (husband lost a job) and a sick friend.  I've been sharing a lot of my food and baked goods with people lately.  Call me the local "meals on wheels" or my big, fat Greek lady trying to feed away everyone's problems.  I also visited the library, pet store, park and office supply place.  Then I came home to do some volunteer work for my moms group that I'm involved in.  Later I managed to cook bacon-cheddar meatballs, balsamic green beans, a party pretzel mix and peanut butter chocolate rice-krispie balls.  Oh yeah, I was on a roll today! 

Recently I had a friend visit from Pennsylvania.  It was a special visit though because we had never actually met in real life before.  You may recall I wrote a post about my special on-line friends - a group of women I met from a baby board I found months after giving birth to Vivian.  Well I've been writing and talking with these women for three years now.  One of them - Jess - planned a trip to visit me over a month ago and we finally made it happen last weekend! 



My virtual turned reality friend Jess (on the left) is pictured here with me (right).  Here we stand in front of the Pensacola Pelican mascot before our trolley ride on Jan. 22, 2011.


Jess is as wonderful in real life as she is on the computer screen and on the telephone.  This was an example of virtual to reality gone right!  I was so honored and humbled how she reached out to me and that she chose to be my friend!  I love you dearly Jess!  And yes, my husband does think you are a smart girl!  :-)

Other things I've been doing lately includes just relishing in the small moments.  Today I caught myself singing in the car and Vivian was happily dancing along in the backseat.  We were both happy - visibly, noticeably happy and I took a minute to rejoice in that.  Just a few seconds later I noticed a homeless man on the corner standing there with his three-legged dog.  He looked in need of a shave and a hot shower.  I want that surreal, sad image to stay in my head.  I want that memory to remind me not sweat the small stuff that comes up in my day.  Because my life is really amazing and I should realize that and be grateful for it more and more. 

I'm doing research for my next writing project.  I checked out several books at the library in hopes to jumpstart the ideas brewing around in my head for the past week.  I'm excited at the possibilties and at the chance to put pen to paper again soon, on something different than my food blog and cookbook.   I'm also encouraging my friend Jen to work on her book ideas. She has terrrific insight and a great product so I'll do what I can to push her to finish her goals.  Another friend, my blogging buddy Kelly asked me to join her online facebook writers group for inspiration as well.  I happily accepted her invitation.  And I feel lucky to have so many creative people surrounding me, even if some of them are only online.


Where you going?
Usually when Viv asks me this question, I'm typically just taking a few steps out of the room or walking into the bathroom.  I pee more times a day than any other non-elderly, non-pregnant person I know.   Lately the Diva and I have had a good balance of going, going, going and then having a day of just being vegetables.  Monday was our lie around and be lazy day.  But today we went to seven different places.  Yes, you heard me right - SEVEN.   I mentioned several of the locations already - park, library, office supply store, etc.  Okay, okay so some of them were within the same parking lot/vicinity and others were quick drive-bys.  But we visited seven various spots today and stayed very active.  Some days I like being on the go that much and other days, I take joy in never even opening a window or door to my house.

I keep a calendar on my desk of events and local happenings; therefore I generally know where I'll be (or where I'd like to be) in the coming weeks.  For example.... On Monday, I'll be at a coffee shop with friends.  Next Friday I'm hoping to visit a local train museum with Vivian.  After that, it's a Valentine's party and card exchange with my moms club.  Shortly after that it will probably be a visit to see family in New Orleans again.  
 
What I'm most excited about though is a possible upcoming trip to San Diego, California.  My husband needs to do work there sometime this spring.  I'm hoping to tag along for a mini-vacation.  Not only will it be a chance to see a beautiful, new city I've not had the pleasure of touring yet but it will also be an opportunity to meet another one of my virtual friends.  My best bud Carrie lives within two hours of San Diego and I really want to see her and thank her for the gifts of friendship, hope and kindness she's shown me for the past several years!   I'm considering leaving Vivian behind with my parents or with Kirk's mom while I'm gone.  That's huge for me.  I've never left her for more than one night.  But I think I'm ready to let her be independent and be spoiled by the grandparents.  And me with some time on my own and some time alone with my husband.  So we'll see.  I'm giddy just thinking of it all and hope it can come together like I want it to.
 
Other trip possiblities may include a visit to Virginia and some day trips around Florida and Alabama.  My friend Jen is trying to convince me to go camping at one of the local state parks.  I've never been camping before.  Or at least not within the last twenty years so it doesn't really count if I can't remember my excursion at age ten.
 
What comes next?
Aaaahhh my sweet young child, that is the question!  What comes next?  For my three year old, she wants to know what stuffed animal to play with or what color crayon she should use. 
 
I try to think on those simple terms but often my mind drifts to the bigger picture.... 
What is in store for us all? 
What deeper meaning does my life hold? 
Will my family be healthy in 2011? 
Will this lucky, happy streak of mine last? 
Will I be able to accomplish this next writing project? 
Will I continue to not let the little things in life bother me when I have so much to be thankful for? 
Will my well-behaved child who's eating dinner every night now go back to that tantrum-horrific kid who has hunger strikes?
Will I ever clear off that messy space on my dresser so I can dust it? 
Will Vivian ever stop laughing every single time she farts?  Will Kirk?
Will my heart and mind continue to grow by leaps and bounds as I feel it's done in these last few years?
 
Who knows?  I don't.  But I can't wait to see.  I can't wait to find out the answers or perhaps just add more questions to the mix. 
 
Stay tuned! 
 
 

So Far, So Good - Local Life Through Pictures

In keeping with that new and improved attitude I spoke about in my last post, I am still singing and cheering life's praises.  Things have been good, great in fact.  I can't really complain!  And how many people can say that? 

I've been keeping busy.  I have cooked and baked a ton lately.  We had a visitor in town for five days and now I'm having another one come over this weekend.  When you have friends over, that's always a bonus in life! 

What else?  We've been visiting parks, going on shopping excursions and planning each day's activities after we wake up and see how we feel.  Then as I was having fun and not really thinking much about writing, my next project came to me.  I need to think some more about it but I'm pretty excited at the possibilities.  The only hint I will give is that Neil Simon is my inspiration and I will be re-reading his works in the coming weeks.  My idea is totally different than anything I've ever done before (but so was my cookbook and that turned out well)!

So yeah, not trying to brag but.....Things have been wonderful. 

Don't just take my word for it though.  See for yourself. 

Here is my life these days - captured in pictures:

1)  I've been snuggling up with this sexy guy, my husband Kirk.


Kirk took a long weekend off from work so we had the opportunity to have a lot of family time together which was really nice. 

2) Vivian and I have been having indoor slumber parties and picnics on the cold and rainy days.



I love how my girl is a nurturing type already.  She is kind enough to share with all her animals.  :-)



And she covers up her "kids" to keep them warm. 

3) We've been accessorizing and playing dress-up!



Arrghhh!  I'm a pirate.



I'm a ski-bunny.  But instead of hitting the slopes, I will be on the runway strutting my stuff.




Or I'm a rock star just waiting to have some chocolate fudge.


4) We've been indulging in beverages where salt goes around the rim!  ;-P




5) I've been making some wonderful and very tasty foods, like this muffuletta pizza:



Oh, trust me.... it tastes even better than it looks! 

6) We've been enjoying the great outdoors on any day where it's 40 degrees or above, like our recent trip to a local bird park:






The diva gets up close and personal with some memorable birds.

And
7) We've just been playing, sliding, falling down, getting up, telling jokes, smilling and laughing a whole lot lately! 




Vivian having a blast at an outdoor jungle gym on the beach in Pensacola.


Also, I've started reading a new book, "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin.  I've only read one chapter so far but I'm enjoying it.  It's right up my alley when it comes to being more appreciative, more grateful and more practical about living a joyful life.  I know that things can continue on this great path if I keep my mind and my attitude focused on it. 

I can't wait to see what wonderful things will happen next!

Name something good that is happening in your life right now.  What's the last great moment you experienced, the last great meal you ate or the last great thought that entered your mind? 

Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh....I Got A New Attitude

For some reason the lyrics to this Patti Labelle song has been stuck in my head....


"I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes
Know where I'm goin' and I know what to do
I tidied up my point of view
I got a new attitude"


I love Patti's line about tidying up her attitude.  I've been doing that with my own mind lately.   Even with the small success of my cookbook and the attention of my other blog, I was beginning to get down on myself.... experiencing that low after you have a great big high in your life.  I found myself getting snippy and snappy and more judgmental toward others.  Frankly, I didn't like it!  So I adjusted my attitude for the better. 


I was telling my good friend Jen yesterday how I have to work at being positive sometimes.  It's just in my family blood to think more on the negative side, to be prepared for the worst scenario.  But I'm really trying to change that.  I am working diligently at being more thankful and more grateful in my life.  For the past week, it's been working too!

Several of my friends have asked me recently, "You haven't been writing on your blog lately. What's up?"  I didn't have an answer for them.  And for the first time in a long time, I really didn't care that I have been absent here.


Don't get me wrong, I love this blog.  I love reading other blogs and hearing from readers and commenters.   But well.... instead of writing about my life, I've been living my life and relishing in the moment these days!  And it's been great! 


In fact, I've been consistently happy and worry-free for almost a week..... A WHOLE WEEK now..... who knew it was possible!  I haven't even read any self-help books or seen a therapist either. 


No, I have just spent a lot of good, quality time with my daughter.  I've been talking to friends or meeting up with friends almost every day.  I've been hugging my husband more.   I've been petting my dog more.  I've just been looking at my situation and my surroundings and thinking to myself..... wow, I have it pretty good!  I should be grateful!  I am grateful! 


I mean gosh, why do we shy away from celebrations and good news?  Why do we let others' happiness make us feel less inadequate about ourselves?  I am guilty of it.  I hear someone's good story and think for an instant.... "That b*#%&!"  Why does she live this charmed life and get what she wants?!"  Then I catch myself in the mirror and think.... "Geez Mandy, why don't you just be happy for her or him!"  So that has been my mindset lately.... be happy for myself and be happy for others! 


And just to remind myself of the charmed life that I lead, I'm going to create a short list of things that I have to be happy about right now!


(1) I was a cover girl for a day.  How many people can say that?  My face was on the cover of a newspaper and I had a whole feature written about my cookbook and me.  That's pretty frickin' cool!  I am honored and humbled by it and glad that I can share this with my family.  Big thanks to my parents who wrote to the Pensacola Editor to make the story happen!  So instead of worrying about what book or what thing I will write next (because right now, I don't have a clue??), I'm just going to enjoy and accept what I have already done and not worry so much.   The future project or concept will come to me when it's ready to reveal itself.   Until then, hey I was a cover girl.  So there!











(2) I have an amazing kid.  And lately, she's been well-behaved, eating her dinner every night and cracking me up with her comedy routine.  We had a rough few weeks with her meltdowns and hunger strikes!  I had to really toughen up and be a mean mama giving her zero chances, throwing water in her face and more!  And well, she straightened up, for now anyway!  For the past week, she's been a perfectly pleasant kid.  No time-outs, no real whining.  Just a joy to be around.  She's even been sleeping in, past 7am nearly every morning!   It's a rare, heavenly thing so  I just want to be thankful and appreciative of her these days.  Last week we spent an entire day together just watching movies and playing in her room.  She was attentive and affectionate and just beaming all day long to have her happy mom all to herself.  So I'm working harder to pay attention to her needs, to give in to some of her wants when they are justified and easy to do and simply adore her for the wonderful being she is becoming.  After all, I really love this kid of mine:





Confession: For awhile, I was really focused on having another child.  I was starting to become obsessed and consumed by it.   I really wanted to give Vivian a younger sibling.  I was stressing myself over it and getting upset when seven months had gone by without anything happening.... I was crying and beating myself over it, etc, etc,.....  WELL, I've decided to stop that way of thinking!  I mean honestly.... it's only been seven months.  It takes some people YEARS to conceive.  Some women NEVER have a child.  I was just lucky with Vivian - she came along on the second try.  So I put things into better perspective.  From now on, I'm just going to be grateful for the ONE child I have.... and if another one comes along, great!  Fine!  If not, I'll be okay with that too.  I really will be.  I'm tired of thinking about what I do NOT have.  Instead, I want to do a better job being a great mom and appreciating the one kid that I do have!  So far, things are going well in that department!



(3) I am hitting a good stride even though I don't know what is coming next?!  I haven't decided what my next "project" or "goal" will be.  But for once, I'm not worried over it.  I know it will just hit me like a ton of bricks when the time is right.  And do I always need a challenge anyway?  Perhaps my challenge should be just to live the day to day and enjoy myself more?   I'm becoming more settled but is that really a bad thing?  I don't think so!  I'm spending more time with my family and friends in the community and it feels great!  I'm trying to encourage and give back to others when I can.  At the very least, I try to share my baked goodies and make someone else laugh on a weekly basis.  I've got a friend coming to visit me soon, a trip that I'm very excited about.  There is just so much GOOD in this world even despite all the BAD you hear about!  And that's what I'm focusing on.... that's where my head is these days!  And it feels wonderful and like it should be!


I hope you are hitting a good stride as well and that your attitude is a decision that you make each day.... because it really is when you stop and think about it! 

Have a great day!  Have a positive attitude!  And just be thankful for the things going right in your life right now!

Cheers!

My Husband's Secret Addiction

The time has come for me to reveal that my husband Kirk has a secret addiction.  I've been holding in this shame and this pain for quite some time now. 

This addiction has been going on for over three years now but the problem has escalated when I became pregnant in 2007.  I thought the issue would go away but it hasn't.  I'm not sure who to contact for help with this addiction. 

Like any compulsive habit, it began slow.  I know he receives that feel good "buzz" when he is performing this act.  I have watched him experience that winner's high when he is in the moment of the compulsion.  Sure an immediate gratification can feel nice but the long-term effects just aren't worth the trouble.  Not for me.  Not anymore!

I just need to put a stop to it, once and for all.  I just pray that he will listen to his loving, caring wife and stop all this foolishness.  I cannot handle this obsession of his from this point forward!

That's right, folks.  My husband is addicted to claw machines....

You know, the machines that cost fifty cents to a dollar.  You then use some germ-infested joy stick to unleash a claw that may or may not give you some random, hideous stuffed animal from inside.  I call them the "Misfit Toys," or the reject disfigures made in Korea - the animals that NO ONE, I mean NO ONE would ever put up on a shelf and proudly display.

My husband is obsessed with these contraptions though.  He will waste five dollars trying to win one animal for our three year old girl.  Five dollars!!! 

And that five bucks wins me what?  Some hideous creature that looks like this:



Yes, this is an actual doll that my husband purposely won and paid for from a claw machine.  You see my problem now, don't you?


I don't know about you but this particular animal (pictured above) scares me AND reminds me of a Chucky doll.  You remember Chucky, right?  The killer doll from the cheezy 80's and 90's movies called "Child's Play"!?

It's just creepy and a bit demonic looking.   I am going to throw it away before it becomes alive and tries to kill me.

Every now and then my husband does manage to win a decent looking doll.  One time he clawed his way to a Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz or most recently, Yogi Bear minus the picnic basket. 

But enough is enough!  We have stuffed animals practically shedding from our house walls. There are just too many of them and no place to put them.  I'm tired of stepping all over them and finding my dog's drool on their distorted, cross-eyed faces! 

Now Vivian is getting in on the action.  You can already see her eyes start to glaze over when she spots one of these machines at a restaurant or inside the toy store.  I'm losing her to this addiction too. 

What is it going to take for me to win this fight?  Will I have to place a square over my head and begin charging money for my husband to claw at me?  Hmmm, actually that might not be a bad idea.... a fun little, sexy game we can play after Vivian is asleep at night......  and I could actually use a few extra dollars too.....  oh yes, that could work.....

Oh well, nevermind.  I guess it's not that bad of an addiction after all.  I suppose it could be worse.

But please, oh please Kirk!  No more misfit, frightening looking toys!  I just can't take any more hairy figures or beady eyes staring at me throughout the house. 

Okay, Thank you!