New Memories, Fears, Additions and Random Thoughts

Wow, it's the last day of February.  Where did the month go?  Time is just flying by these days.  I haven't taken the time to write about life or stop for much these days, except to sleep at night.  I'm not complaining though.  Sometimes that is just the way of the world. 

But I wanted to reflect on the things we've done and gotten to see in the past few weeks.  So here I go:

New Memories:

(1) We took a trip to see family about two weeks ago.  I had the chance to see several aunts, uncles, cousins and relatives that I had not seen in over two years.  A few of them had never even met Vivian before.  We all had a huge family dinner (about 35 people) at a local seafood restaurant.  It was a lot of fun.  I give credit to my parents for organizing and arranging it all with the place.  Vivian had a great time playing with her cousins as you'll see in these photos:











(2) During that trip to see family, I had a few nostalgic moments.   I was thinking a lot about my two grandfathers who passed away years ago.  My parents have two eulogies of them both hanging on their walls - one is a poem I wrote for one; the other was a letter my brother wrote and read at the other's funeral.  In addition, I visited my grandmother in the nursing home and it saddened me to know that she may not be with us for very much longer.  My dad and his siblings are selling her house.   She spent over 60 years in that place so it's weird to know that someone else will be living there soon.  I had the opportunity to go through it and pick out a few things from her kitchen and bedrooms for sentimental reasons.  (I'm actually working on a blog post about that now.)  

While chatting during that visit, my sister in law Karen tells me that she's been playing around on the site ancestry.com to work on the family tree for both sides of her family.   Talking to her and being around my older relatives makes me wish I had talked more to my grandparents and taken notes about their stories, lives and mannerisms as I was growing up and while they were younger.  Their way of life was so different than today's age and I really should have done a better job of finding a way to preserve it for my daughter.  Even though my two grandmothers are not always coherent when they speak, I hope to explore options of talking to their siblings and children to build my own family tree that I can share with Vivian someday.








We love you Maw-Maw.

New Fears:

(3) Vivian has a new phobia: bugs.  Not just any bug either.  ALL BUGS.  Flies, caterpillars, bees, dragonflies, mosquitos, millipedes, ants, and just anything related that flies or crawls and creeps around.  On Saturday a fly flew into the car and she went into full on hysterics - crying real tears, screaming, kicking her feet.  Kirk was driving and I was sitting in the front passenger seat.  We rolled the windows down.  We tried to soothe her that it would not bite her or harm her.  Nothing seemed to work.  Nothing.  Sigh!   A friend told me it's important not to overlook this fear even though it seems silly to us as parents.  She's really upset over this.  It's going to be a long spring and summer season with these kind of episodes.  I hope things improve or that I can at least find a way to help my daughter cope with this fear. 


(4) During the recent visit to see family, I noticed that everyone (myself included) is getting older and that the time is growing shorter.  Seeing and realizing this reminds me of my own biggest fear: Death.  I'm afraid to die.  There I said it.  I'm typing it out loud.  I'm scared of death.  I know I'm not alone in this fear but sometimes I feel like I am.  I suppose it's because of my uncertainties of what lies after death and my religious confusion and lack of faith on most days.  What can we do to help relief these kind of deep fears though?  Death is inevitable.  The circle of life and all that jazz.  Maybe that's why I'm blogging and writing less though these days.  I miss it yet I'm out enjoying more in my surroundings. 



New Additions (...How $2 quickly turned into $100...):

Speaking of enjoying my surroundings more, our family visited a Renaissance Fair over the weekend.  We saw all kinds of crazy sites.  And I'm not just talking about the people dressed in strange costumes, which included a giant wizard, a Capt. Jack Sparrow copycat and a woman with black horns and black wings.  Walking around we also saw real elephants, camels, a puppet show, Irish step dancers and all the typical greasy foods that are hard to resist.  I stopped as I past a game booth that said, "Frog Catapult."  Something about it caught my eye.  So I entered.

The cost was $1 for three throws. The object of the game was to use a hammer to catapult a plastic frog into a basket. The winner got to choose a goldfish. I didn't come close for the first three throws. So I paid another dollar and played again.  Kirk wasn't interested in playing so it was up to me. Two more throws and I missed it again. Finally on my sixth and last throw, the frog went into the basket.  Yes!  Victory!   Cue music "We are the champions....."   So Vivian got to choose a fish from their tank. 

(5) So yes, we have a new addition to our family: A goldfish! 


But with a face as happy as this (see below photos), you'd have done the same thing!







Vivian  proudly carried around the prize fish all over the fairgrounds.  She never let that fish go.  She seemed to flaunt it and hold it up high as we continued to walk around.  It was quite comical.  We received all kinds of stares and comments about this fish.  I'll admit.... I LOVED IT!  I felt like the rock star mom who won my kid a fish at the fair!  I was awesome!  Oh yeah!

That awesome feeling wore off in the car ride home though as we realized that we had no place to put this fish and no holding tank for it. Not very smart thinking of me, the mommy but oh well.... A quick trip to the pet store and we bought everything we needed, including two other goldfish.   And that my friends is how a two dollar prize fish can end up costing you one hundred dollars.

But again, just look at this happy face (below):




Now my only hope is that our new pets - "Shark Bait," "Diva" and "Sassy" will be around for awhile and we won't have to rename them Dead Fish #1, 2 and 3.   We'll keep you posted on their progress.  So far they are thriving but it's only been one day! 


Other Random Thoughts:

(6) While traveling to and from Louisiana, I had a few hours of uninterrupted time reading in the car.  I'm half-way through the book "The Happiness Project," which I'm really, really enjoying.  The author says a few things in the book that I find very interesting that I want to share here:

- "Fake it until you feel it."  (She's not talking about sex either, just general life happenings.)  Sometimes we don't feel like doing things but we just have to.  So if we act the way we want to feel and give it a try, we can often surprise ourselves!

- "What you do every day matters more than what you do once in awhile."  For example, my husband is not one to give me gifts or flowers.  But I feel loved by him every day in his words and his actions.  That does say much more to me than a box of chocolates or a diamond necklace ever would.

- "Be True To Who You Are.  Acknowledge what you enjoy not just what you wish you enjoyed"  So true!  I love the idea of knitting or gardening but it's just not who I am! 

- "Lighten up.  Be silly.  Joke more.  Start new family traditions and have family theme nights to break up the boring routine."  I love the ideas the author discusses in her book!

- "Everything is beautiful.  But some things appeal more to us than others."  One man's treasure is another person's junk. 

The book has also given me some great suggestions on how I can declutter my house, organize my pictures and other memorabilia and has my brain churning on some special gifts that I want to put together for my friends.  I love it when a book has me excited and ready to take action in my own life! 


What's happening in your world these days?  I am looking forward to springtime.  Although here in Florida, it already feels like the season has begun! 

Life is a Playground (And so is our backyard).

Every single day,
I wake up and play

With a beautiful little girl
Who has a head-full of curls.

When my daughter is not starting a war,
She truly is my shining star.

I laugh and smile so much these days
The hours pass on and time is a haze.

We live in a pretend world, a play zone
Where our dreams and hopes are our own.

She sees things in delight and wonder
From a red stop sign to the sound of thunder.

I forget my life before she came along
For now we sing a new song.

Tunes of silliness, words of laughter
And movies where things end happily ever after.

I know these days won't always last
I know the future will have disappointments that appear fast.

Yet now I'm enjoying the simple playground
The one where I see happiness and hear joyful sounds.

As we climb the wall, slide down and swing
I'm reminded of the precious gift that life brings.

Of how we're only here for a short time
Something I can't even capture in this rhyme.

How I want to cherish moments - spend them having fun
Before the hour glass runs out and time is done.

I'm going to play hard and be in the wild
For myself, for my husband and for my gorgeous child.


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Here are the photos and the three year old that inspired the above, simple poem:



















Do you make time to "play" each day?  I'm trying to remember that my life is a playground.  Now I have a constant reminder in my own backyard!  :)

Finding The Balance

I've been thinking a lot about balance in my life lately.  Perhaps it has to do with recent conversations I've had with friends.  My pal and I were talking about how to fit it all in within a day.  And by "fit it all in" I mean a combination of taking care of the kids, taking care of the house, taking care of our spouses and yes, taking care of ourselves too.  Not very often can you manage a day like that, a day where you can make everyone happy, including yourself. 


Realistically in our society, I don't think you can have a day like that every day.  I strive for one or two balanced days per week.  The rest of the time, I try to go with the flow, be accepting of change or let the day lead me rather than me lead the day. 


One day last week though I had a very balanced, wonderful day.  I had plans with a friend but they weren't until later in the afternoon.  I woke up early and didn't feel like exercising right away.   So I made myself a cup of hot tea and decided to read a book instead.  First, I threw in a load of laundry into the wash.  (That's my quick-fix to feeling productive - just do at least one load of laundry per day!)  I managed a few minutes of quiet reading before the diva woke up.   Then I made Viv breakfast and instructed her to play in her room so mommy could enjoy reading a little longer.  Thankfully she did.  Soon 40 minutes turned into almost two hours of Vivian using her own imagination and me getting absorbed into the characters of a Neil Simon play. 

A little while later, my friend called me and canceled.  Her kids were still sick and not up to visitors.  No problem, I thought.  I wasn't real disappointed since I was enjoying a peaceful morning to myself.  I felt educated and inspired from reading my book. 

Next I wanted to feel better about my body physically.  So I dusted off the "30-day shred" DVD and popped it into the player.  Vivian joined me for half of the workout making me laugh or driving me nuts with her endless questions about each step we were performing.  I felt better when it was over and done with though. 

Then I glanced all over the house - a complete wreck!  While I was absorbed into my early morning reading, Vivian had dragged out every stuffed animal, every blanket and every toy from her room.  The living room looked like someone had vomitted toys all over it.  That's okay though.  Because even though things were a mess, we could clean them up in a reasonable time.  Perhaps we could make a game out of it.  The mess was still worth the time to myself.  I could compromise on that! 

After cleaning up, we played outside in the beautiful weather.  Nothing special.  Just running around in the backyard, playing catch, kicking a ball, swinging and blowing bubbles.  Although it's not much to me, to my three year old, this is heaven.  So I was glad that the morning was about me and then the afternoon could be about making my daughter happy.  We enjoyed a picnic lunch, watched one of her favorite TV programs and then read stories before her naptime. 

Not long after naptime started, my husband arrived early from work.  A rare, nice occasion!  One that we both enjoy, especially when our daughter is still napping and we can enjoy some intimate time alone.  (Cue music to "Afternoon Delight.")  We even had time to cuddle and watch a little adult television before the diva woke up.

After Viv arose from slumber, we had dinner together: pizza (with red wine for Kirk and me).  As Kirk cleared away the dishes, I folded the laundry I had put in the dryer that morning.   Then we watched a movie as a family - one of my favorite things to do and a great way to unwind from the day. 

We tucked our beautiful girl into bed.  I gave the dog a few belly rubs.  Then Kirk and I enjoyed more quiet time together.  It had been a great day.  A day of balanced energy and time for those I love most - myself, my daughter, my husband and our family.  I was diligent about giving each person what they needed, including myself.  Then I was even productive around the house too.  What more could I want?

Not every day is like this.  We're lucky to enjoy one day out of the week like this.  But when we do, it's precious and special.  I want to remember it so that's why I wrote about it here.  After a day like that, I strive to have more of them in my life.

I hope you have luck finding the balance in your day, your week, your month and your year!  Keep working toward it!