"When Are You Due?"

That is the four word phrase I hear every day, a dozen times per day now.  "When are you due!?" This is followed by eyes bugging out over my enormous belly.   Now I can say to people, "Less than a month.....on April 27."  Most people, including total strangers respond with, "Are you sure?  I think you could go at any moment now...."  Why thank you, thank you so much!  

Now, not all the comments are in the negative like that.  Every now and then I get a "You look great.  You're all belly, like you're carrying a basketball," from some ladies who pity me I suppose.  But it seems like most of them are just in disbelief that I'm not due today or tomorrow.   Plus, I get that same comment from the annoying lady across the hall at work who has told me for four-five months straight just how huge I am.  She of course is all skin and bones and has never had any children.  She also has no tact or personality either.

It's so funny how strangers don't talk to you in your normal body frame but you pack on an additional 30 pounds in your stomach with some sliding over in your butt and thighs and you're front and center of the daily news.  They look.  They stare.  They smile.  They probably want to pull out a fork and cut into you like a Thanksgiving turkey!

But anyway yes, I am due in less than four weeks, if I make it that long.  This is my second child after all.  Many folks say their second one comes earlier or quicker.  Not all cases but I hear this story a lot from people.  Again many from total strangers.  Maybe they just say that though so we'll have hope and hang on until the end. 

My plan for now is to just let it happen when it's supposed to happen.  I currently have no plans to be induced.  I definitely am not opting for a C-section.  I had a vaginal birth with my first daughter Vivian and it went just fine.  Now I had some drugs, mind you, and I'm sure I'll go that route again.  The epidural was heavenly and helped me relax and nap in between contractions.  No issues there.  I try to be open and flexible with a plan though.  I can tolerate some pain but feel I have nothing to prove to myself or anyone else if I go all natural or opt for some help.  But we'll see. 

My husband would LOVE for me to schedule an induction.  It's the control freak, type A personality in him.  He's worried about having to go to the hospital in the middle of the night and what do with do with our daughter, our dog, our house, etc?  We don't have family close by.  They are all 3-4 hours drive away.   A part of me is enjoying his worry though, just a little bit.  I'm like 'chill honey,' it will all work out.  We will be fine and we have friends who have offered to help us even if that does mean a middle of the night phone call to come over to look after our sleeping beauty Vivian.

So who knows what's going to happen?  Not me!  And for now, I'm okay with that.  A little bit of mystery and surprise might be good for us.  I'm such a planner at work, around the house, with my clubs/groups and volunteer activities.  I just want Lana Jane to come when she's ready.  But if she goes past due, then I might have to nudge her. 

We shall see.... stay tuned!

Moonlight Family Walk

Last night my little family of three (with the fourth in my belly and coming soon) took a family walk by the moonlight.  I'd be lying if I said it was intentional and something we do regularly together.  No, the truth is that we had to walk our dog so he could poop because our backyard was sprayed down with poison and we worried about him going there until it had properly settled.

At first I was just going to take our Sheltie out by myself but then my four year wanted to come along with me.  Then my husband didn't want me walking the quarter mile of two streets in our neighborhood in the dark at eight months pregnant.  (What could happen??)  So he came along too. 

Within the first two minutes, husband grabbed the dog's leash from my hand. I suppose I was waddling more than walking since I am a bit slow these days. (Being eight months pregnant and packing an extra 30 pounds will do that to you!)  Soon Vivian left me behind and walked along side her daddy instead.  I was slowing her down too. 

But I didn't mind being alone.  In fact, I rather enjoyed watching the two of them in stride together.  I stared as she and Kirk stood side by side, father and daughter.  They had their own conversations and shared their own smiles and laughs with me being the silent witness to their backsides. 

I wish I had our camera with me so I could have snapped a photo of the two of them.  It was truly special and a couple of minutes that I will never forget.  Vivian was looking up at the stars and pointing them out.  Kirk replied how bright they are and the discussion went from there. 

I don't remember the conversation word for word, but it went something like this:

Vivian to Kirk: "Dad, I want to go up in the sky and see the stars."
Kirk to Vivian: "Okay.  Let's do it.  How will we get there?"
Vivian to Kirk: "We can build a rocket ship.  Will you help me?" 
Kirk to Vivian: "Sure, we can do that."
Vivian to Kirk: "But the rocket ship is too big for the stars!"
Kirk to Vivian: "Well from down here, the stars look small.  But they're actually very big when you get up close to them." 
Vivian to Kirk: (not quite understanding him) "Awww!  Well what about we go see poop instead?"

Hahahaha!  I love it!  So typical in my household.  Sweet, tender moments followed by gross humor and laughter. 

Yet I know I will always remember watching these two people who I love so very much walk hand and hand in the moonlight, under the stars.  My wonderful husband and my beautiful daughter (and soon to be second beautiful daughter) were having a tender moment that I will always cherish.  I hope to remember them talking about the stars and building a rocket ship to see them up close.  This simple walk was a nice reminder about dreaming and taking a few minutes to be in nature. 

I told my husband we need to take more moonlight walks, if only for ten minutes, to unwind from our busy day.  I need to remind myself that nothing much else matters but my family and being together with them.    

 

Kid Commentary and how I went from 33 to 100 in just ten seconds!

My husband and I have been joking lately about "Vivian commentary."  That's what we call real time in having conversations with our four-year old Vivian.  You know how on DVD's you often have the "director's commentary" option?  Well it's like that except we cannot pause it or turn it off.  Our kid's commentary is on all the time now and it goes from one random subject or question to another. 

We also compare her to the character "Buddy the Elf" from the lovable Christmas movie Elf with Will Ferrell.  Like Ferrell's character, our Vivian is just non-stop with her questions, enthusiasm, silliness and thoughts.   An example of what we mean is below:

Quote Taken from the movie Elf -

Buddy: [out of breath from chasing his brother Michael] "Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited 5 hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?... "
Michael: - "Go away !"


Vivian is just like Buddy.  She goes from asking about the weather - "Is the sun coming out mommy?  Is it daytime?"   To "Who's picking me up from school today - you or dad?"  Then she'll start talking about kids in her class.  After that it's a random song and she's dancing with her stuffed animals.  Following that, it's anyone's guess what she'll say next! 

One of the funniest things Vivian said earlier this week was when she was talking about age.  I took her to the doctor because she was coughing and sneezing all night long.  She just had a small cold, nothing serious and she's already better now.  At the doctor's office, she told the nurse that she is four years old and her baby sister Lana is "zero years old."  Later on when we left the office, she asked me how old I am.  I told her, "Mommy is 33 years old."  "33 years old!" she shouted back in utter disbelief!  "33 is almost 100!" 

Wow, thank you my sweet girl.  I suddenly went from being aged 33 to being 100 years old.   Where did my life go?  Oh the things these children say, I tell you! 

While I was still laughing over her comment, Vivian was already onto another thought.  Soon she was asking how far away we were from our house.  Then she began directing traffic and discussing the red lights and green lights she saw on the roads.  Viv began asking about going to the pet store or visiting the library and then it was non-stop chatter after that. 

Note to self - don't be in a hurry for this second child of mine to begin talking!  She can take her time.  LOL!  :-)

What funny things have you heard lately?  If you have children or kids around you, what's one thing that one has said to make you chuckle?

Dear Unborn Child - (my letter to Lana before she arrives)

Dear Lana Jane,

Well here we are, you and me, with less than eight weeks to go before we meet face to face.  I can hardly believe it!  It seems so long since I've dreamed of you and waited for you - taking over a year to conceive you; now two months away from your due date.

I want to put into words what I've been thinking about before we're thrown in the mix of your dirty diapers, crying fits and sleepless nights.  Before I become zombie mom once again and I am walking around with one sock on, no bra and haven't brushed my teeth or showered all day.

You're going to be my second daughter, my second child.  But that in no way means that you will be second best to me.  Sure you'll get your big sister Vivian's hand-me-down clothes, toys, bed and more.  But you'll still be You, my beautiful Lana Jane, partially named after three different gorgeous actresses full of talent and drama.  You will be your own unique, individual self unlike any other.  You'll be just as special, just as lucky and just as loved in our hearts. 

In fact I think you're getting the better end of the deal because you'll have even more love around you than your big sister did.  That's right, from the beginning and even before you are born, you have an additional person loving you!  And that someone is your big sister Vivian.  She tells me every day that she loves you.  She asks about you.  She rubs my belly and talks to you.  She hugs you.  She may only be four years old right now but she's still sincere and honest with her feelings.  She can't wait for your arrival just like the rest of us.    

So guess what?  Vivian didn't have that as a baby.  She had no older sibling.  So already, you're more adored than she was.  Can you feel this love, I wonder?  Will you feel loved right from your first breath into the world?

And you know what else?  I am the second child in my family.  I've never felt second rated or loved any less than my older sibling.  I hope you never do either.  We will make it a point to show you how much you're appreciated and loved and wanted in our family.

I cannot wait to see you.  I cannot wait to hold you.  I feel you moving inside me all the time and I just wonder what you'll be like.  Will you be another blonde with light colored eyes like your sister?  Or will you come out with dark hair and dark eyes, more like your dad and me?  Will you snuggle with me and let me rock you?  Will you know me instantly?   When will you first smile at me? 

I may not have read the pregnancy books this second time around.  I haven't taken as many photos or journaled like I did with my first one but it's because I have more confidence this time.  I have more faith in you and me.  I hope that confidence will be instilled in you somehow, that you'll just know you are special and destined for greatness. 

You may have to cut me a little slack in the beginning.  It's been over four years since I've dealt with the baby stage (aka the high maintenance phase).  I may be a bit rusty in knowing what to do or how to calm you but I promise we'll get through it.  I am always here for you and you will be the first priority for me. 

I feel like with you around, our family will finally be (and feel) complete.  I've always envisioned myself with a family of four and you're my last piece of the puzzle.  I can't wait to see the new joys you'll bring us and all the laughter we'll do over watching you grow, explore and shape our lives.  

It will be amazing to watch your big sister hold you and talk to you. That sister bond you're going to share with Vivian some day soon will be incredible!   You will (hopefully) have a best friend for life, something I've never gotten to experience.  I'm so happy I can give you that gift of friendship right from the day you are born.  I hope you and Vivian will nurture each other and foster a positive relationship for the rest of your lives. 

Despite the stinky poo, the spit up, the worrying, the teething and the fears, I know that this next year will be one to cherish between you and me.  You'll be receiving my improved mothering skills, my better attitude and my enhanced womanly charm.   Ya see, I've gone through this before; therefore I know I can do it again with you and it will be easier and I can focus on enjoying you, not just getting through the day/night.  Oh the stories I could tell you about when your sis was little and how I was a complete mess, so forgetful and so scatterbrained for months!  But back to you!  You will be different.  You are different.  I am different and we'll be an amazing team, you and me.  We'll be a sassy, non-stop trio with your sister Vivian.  And with your dad Kirk, we'll be like The Incredibles Super Heroes.  Just you wait and see. 

Just wait and see my lovely Lana.  Wait and see. 

That's what I'm doing.... waiting to see you.   Waiting for your arrival.   Waiting to love you even more than I already do.  Waiting to see how much happiness you bring us all. 

I love you, now and forever.
Your mom





    Me (pictured above) over seven months pregnant with Lana,
     with big sister Vivian always by her side!