Comments on Mandy's Life After 30: Labels and Values

Well said! I used to be very label conscious, but...

2010-02-04T08:25:21.959-06:00

Well said!

I used to be very label conscious, but I become a little less so every year. What does it mean? Sometimes it means quality - and sometimes that's what I want. But for something trendy? Who cares if it will last 20 years - you're only going to wear it one season!

As for labeling people? Never really a good plan. A necessary evil sometimes, however, when it comes to acquiring funding for programs. That's the only time I can think of that it's beneficial...

Good for you on not accepting Labels random people...

2010-02-03T21:39:23.834-06:00

Good for you on not accepting Labels random people try to put on you or your family! :-)

It can be easy to listen to what others say, even if we say we don't at the time, so I'm so happy you've proactively chose not to pay attention or let it define you.

ps it is a girl :)

2010-02-03T11:20:37.325-06:00

ps it is a girl :)

mamacita: first, thank YOu for the fabulous commen...

2010-02-03T11:19:31.429-06:00

mamacita:
first, thank YOu for the fabulous comment on monday, you are so lovely, thoughtful and kind, thank you thank you thank you!

second, this is a fabulously written and thought provoking post! You are right, some random day care worker calling Viv difficult isn't important nor meaningful and where does she get off trying to put a stamp on your daughter and her personality. people like that need to get a life, and in general, love your message on this post :)

have a great day Mandy!

These days I'm too busy to comjure up labels f...

2010-02-02T15:24:54.846-06:00

These days I'm too busy to comjure up labels for people. As for stuff I've found the older I get the less I need or want.

I'm glad you got some time for yourself. It is very important for all of us.

Hi Tonya, That is a very good question you asked ...

2010-02-02T14:54:20.973-06:00

Hi Tonya,

That is a very good question you asked about how to handle it when your children hear labels, especially negative ones. I haven't gone through that yet since Viv is younger than your two boys.

But I imagine that I'd talk to her honestly about it. I'd ask her, "What do you think about that person calling you ____? Is that how you see yourself?"

If she says "no" then we'd talk about why she doesn't see herself that way and how she can rise above people's criticisms of her.

If she says, "yes" or "I'm not sure," then I'd talk to her about self image and how she could improve it. I'd also tell her about how much I love her and how I see her as a person. We'd discuss how all her loved ones view her and how we hope that is how she'll someday see herself. And if necessary, then we'd discuss ways to improve her self image and how she could feel better about herself.

Anyway, that's what I think I would do. I hope this helps you.

Hugs to you and the boys. No matter what anyone says to your or to them, your love for each other cannot be taken away!

All the best to you,
Mandy

What a great post! My boss' son is "ene...

2010-02-02T14:52:32.460-06:00

What a great post!

My boss' son is "energetic" and "impulsive" and his kindergarten teacher(it was her first year teaching) had a hard time handling him. This year his first grade teacher is much more experienced and has helped him alot. However, the school is still pushing for an evaluation....and therefore a label, so they can properly "deal with" his behavior(i.e. get more money by saying he needs special attention). My boss and his wife have finally agreed and I belive the evaluation is next week. They are worried about labeling their son but are hoping it will help them and the teachers understand his behavior better. I can tell my boss is still very nervous about applying a label to his kid. --I don't think there's anything wrong with the kid; sure he's a little hyper sometimes, but he's SIX! He's the youngest in his class and eventually he'll mature. Also, he's doing great academically.

I think this is the longest comment I've ever left!

I have started typing 3 times of what I wanted to ...

2010-02-02T14:27:22.746-06:00

I have started typing 3 times of what I wanted to reply on this and each time I could feel myself wanting to go into this long spill about how I feel about this very subject and all I want to say is BRAVO!!! DITTO for me!!! Wow you hit the nail on the head with this one! I have family and friends that "label" my sons in one way or another and sometimes even several labels. I ignore it most of the time because like you say "I decide the value of the label". So tell me this... how do you handle the label when you're child hears it and you want to counteract what was said about them?

As a mom, I'm always on the lookout when schoo...

2010-02-02T12:26:13.620-06:00

As a mom, I'm always on the lookout when schools or teachers want to label a kid. Who knows how that label will follow them?

I know labels far too well, and sadly they have be...

2010-02-02T10:17:11.930-06:00

I know labels far too well, and sadly they have been towards my 3 yr old daughter and a very mean hard to work with person (oops did I just label her?) Anyways I feel I am a mom to protect my kids from labels as best I can. Also love the homecoming suit story. My dad does the same thing about a Homecoming dress my mom bought me for $200 and that we found another like 10 min later that we liked better, but the store wouldn't let us return the first one, so yeah a $200 dress that was never worn :) Love reading your blog.

Oh, and someone called Viv difficult? Did they fo...

2010-02-02T09:58:00.977-06:00

Oh, and someone called Viv difficult? Did they forget that she is a toddler?

Seems ridiculous to me.

Oh boy, can labels be dangerous. I have found tha...

2010-02-02T09:56:50.265-06:00

Oh boy, can labels be dangerous. I have found that any sort of label can get someone in trouble, even if it is as simple as calling someone shy.

I do my best to stay far, far away from labels. The seem to put people in boxes, and I am sure no one likes it.

So glad you got a four hour break..sometimes it ca...

2010-02-02T09:34:35.966-06:00

So glad you got a four hour break..sometimes it can feel like 40 hours.

Have a great week!