Comments on Mandy's Life After 30: How Long Do You Stay Mad?

I can SO sympathize with you. I have spent more me...

2009-12-16T17:38:28.926-06:00

I can SO sympathize with you. I have spent more meals at a restaurant than I care to admit (to myself OR anyone else) sitting in the backseat of the car glaring angrily at my almost 2-year old son, while my husband and daughter finish their meals. Frustrating! I have also evacuated to the car with him on many other occasions, like trips to WalMart gone awry, or anything or anywhere, really. I never know what is going to set him off or why, or how long his tantrum will last or what will happen. Will he give me a nose bleed (again)? Will he scratch my cornea (again!)?

At WalMart one day, while desperately trying to grab some groceries and get out, my son was throwing an epic tantrum. A woman walked by and sort of sniffed, "You should be able to control your child". I, being thoroughly fed up with everything and everyone at that point, held him out to her, my poor baby all writhing and red-faced and screaming, and asked her if she wanted to try, since she seemed to think she could do a better job.

If you haven't already read it, I really enjoyed reading "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It gives you a bit of a different perspective about temperament, both your child's and your own, and ideas for coping and adjusting. Best of luck!

I used to forgive easily, but have learned to hold...

2009-12-15T10:59:18.794-06:00

I used to forgive easily, but have learned to hold a grudge lately. For me, staying mad a little longer helps people realize that I actually am mad and will not allow them to treat me badly.

This is mostly for my sister who are old enough to know better, so why do they still do it? They have taught me to hold on to anger, which doesn't make me happy, I just don't see another way around it.

You are a totally normal person Mandy and sometime...

2009-12-15T07:21:10.185-06:00

You are a totally normal person Mandy and sometimes we react to things one way and the same scenario might not bother us to the same degree a day later. Don't be hard on yourself. Its such a learning process for all of us first time Moms. Have you read 1-2-3 Magic? We LOVE it and it worked beautifully for us in terms of curbing behavior we don't like and tantrums.

Thanks everyone! It's so good to know that I&...

2009-12-15T02:51:55.454-06:00

Thanks everyone! It's so good to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. Motherhood comes with a huge weight of guilt almost non-stop. You have to push forward and strive for a better day. It's not always easy but no matter how awful your children (or loved ones) are, you still love them and wouldn't trade them for anything!

Ok, I think Cracker Barrel has a kid repellent. My...

2009-12-14T23:59:31.130-06:00

Ok, I think Cracker Barrel has a kid repellent. My little dude throws a fit every time we go there. It's hard for me to stay angry with him long, but when it comes to other people...I'm awfully bad at holding grudges. Not a good trait I know.

Hmmm...well, I stop being mad almost instantly whe...

2009-12-14T23:04:52.098-06:00

Hmmm...well, I stop being mad almost instantly when a person acknowledges they were wrong, which is a lot different than your situation.

To be honest, horyw long I stay ang depends on the severity of what happened, as well as whether it was meant to be intentionally hurtful or not.

(and I'm sorry you had such a stressful breakfast!)

Oops, I forgot to add: I generally find it too eas...

2009-12-14T19:47:54.342-06:00

Oops, I forgot to add: I generally find it too easy to forgive those I love and care about. Like with J, no matter how mad he makes me, I can't stay mad longer than 30 minutes, tops. I just tell myself that life is too short to be angry and that usually comforts me.

I consider it a flaw of mine. Sigh.

Aww hang in there, Mandy. Man, I probably would ha...

2009-12-14T19:46:00.308-06:00

Aww hang in there, Mandy. Man, I probably would have been thisclose to losing it too if that had happened with my child. (By the way, she's definitely living up to her Scarlett/Vivien Leigh name!) Kirk's right, I'm sure Viv forgot all about it shortly after it happened. That still sucks though. Now I'm even more nervous about having my own kid. :P Guess that's where the "terrible two's" nickname comes from!

wow, that is a tough age!!! I feel for you AND you...

2009-12-14T16:46:10.316-06:00

wow, that is a tough age!!! I feel for you AND your fellow diners about the meltdown!!!!
Hope things are better now!

Ohhhhh.... how I can R.E.L.A.T.E.!!!! Sometimes I...

2009-12-14T16:35:47.187-06:00

Ohhhhh.... how I can R.E.L.A.T.E.!!!!

Sometimes I feel like this happens every single day with the boys. Just this weekend, I posted a status on FB about their telling me "I love you mama" erasing the last 14 HOURS of frustration and anxiety. So I can relate, and I need help BIG TIME in this area. So I'll be watching for some extraordinary comments that people learned from "The Nanny" or someone who's got it all together!

That's a tough age. Actually, I think every k...

2009-12-14T13:12:07.443-06:00

That's a tough age. Actually, I think every kid age has its tough moments. I try to give the silent treatment to my kids. Doesn't really seem to work. I think they enjoy not hearing me lecture. I do plenty of that too. My husband jokes that I have a separate vault for each of the kids and a big one for him where I keep all those times that I was mad. Hubby has to watch out that he doesn't say the wrong thing. My vault is always ready for a new submission.

Hang in there. Tantrums = childhood. Moms have to try and ride out each big and little storm :)

I can't stay mad more than a minute or two, fo...

2009-12-14T11:44:15.064-06:00

I can't stay mad more than a minute or two, for which my husband is extremely grateful!

Oh, girlfriend, I can hold a grudge like nobody...

2009-12-14T09:07:58.558-06:00

Oh, girlfriend, I can hold a grudge like nobody's business. I blame it on my Irish temper and German stubborness. It's something I need to work on. I know I stay mad too long, I know I should get over stuff faster, but it takes me a long while to talk myself down. Maybe my new year resolution can be to work on that little flaw;)

What was the first thing that set her off? I know ...

2009-12-13T23:19:26.971-06:00

What was the first thing that set her off? I know that it's easier said than done because at this moment, I've got a 2.5 year old that is trying to play on her daddy's sympathy instead of going to sleep where I am being firm and telling her to go to sleep or off goes the music and the light.

Sometimes I can get like Vivian too...wanting to kick and scream and then when I realize that I'm making not only a lot of noise but getting other people's attention too, then I pipe up even more.

I can be mad at Baby Boo but only as long as the situation and then after that, it's under the bridge. She won't know why I'm still mad when she's gotten over it.

Hey Maybe Viv just don't like Cracker Barrel...

2009-12-13T21:13:17.842-06:00

Hey Maybe Viv just don't like Cracker Barrel !!!

Try I Hop!!

I just love the that little girl!!

Buddy