Comments on Mandy's Life After 30: Making Friends At My Age

Honestly, I don't put any effort into making r...

2009-12-21T13:55:52.981-06:00

Honestly, I don't put any effort into making real-life friends. I don't have the time or energy to cultivate friendships as I am alone with my kids 90% of the time. At times it is an isolating and lonely existence. At least I have my cyber world.

PS - I love when Buddy posts!

2009-12-20T07:47:47.656-06:00

PS - I love when Buddy posts!

It is certainly not easy making new friends. I ha...

2009-12-20T07:47:26.428-06:00

It is certainly not easy making new friends. I have one BFF from my childhood and a few friends from college. I would LOVE more close friendships but have not found those new ones yet. I am sure at new stages in my life I will.

I've had the same close friends since middle s...

2009-12-17T11:53:49.992-06:00

I've had the same close friends since middle school, one since elementary. 5of them are my best friends. I guess that's what happens when you live where you grew up. There's a group of about 12 of us. I'm definitely lucky to have them all.

Thank you all for your comments and insight. I su...

2009-12-17T08:55:34.020-06:00

Thank you all for your comments and insight. I sure enjoyed reading them. All excellent points.

Like I said in my post, even if I don't feel I have someone to call as my B-F-F (besides my husband and maybe Vivian someday), I am still a lucky woman because I do have many wonderful people in my life. And I still have me to help me get through life when it gets tough or stressful.

Thanks to you my bloggy friends for listening to me rant and rave!

My hubby and my mom are my best friends. I had a...

2009-12-17T06:30:22.919-06:00

My hubby and my mom are my best friends.
I had a best friend in elementary school and a best friend throughout high school (who I still keep in touch with but she lives far away).
Now, I have really good friends but none I would call "best", really. I don't think it matters to me as much now that I'm older.

Making new friends is an ongoing process in life t...

2009-12-17T00:44:00.130-06:00

Making new friends is an ongoing process in life that I enjoy very much. It keeps the mind sharp and it's so much fun! Great, thought provoking post! Cheers, sha, and Happy Holidays!!

It's funny - as you get older, your circle of ...

2009-12-16T00:07:13.753-06:00

It's funny - as you get older, your circle of friends certainly gets smaller, but is a much higher quality.

I think it can absolutely be more challenging to break into a new circle of friends after 30, as most people are married and / or have children, so their energy and focus lies there, so they tend to spend time with people they already know.

However, I also think it IS possible to meet people as you get older, and having something in common seems to be the best way....a running group, book club, children, owning a pet, etc....

My sister and I are best friends; we talk daily, ...

2009-12-15T20:33:44.486-06:00

My sister and I are best friends; we talk daily, though we live 2 hrs. apart. I have 3 woman feiends that I,ve had for 50 years. We live hours apart, but keep in touch through rmail, the occasional phone call, and a visit every couple of years. Then I have 2 women friends I acquired in adulthood. But my sister is still #1!

I feel ya girl! I know lots of people, but I sure...

2009-12-15T17:34:43.989-06:00

I feel ya girl! I know lots of people, but I sure don't have one of those BFF's, and haven't since 10th grade when we went separate ways. I like people, but I find it hard to put trust in any one person these days. Like you, I haven't gotten to know anyone long enough for that trust to grow. I would like it some day, but I don't think it's something that can be forced to happen. I think it should just happen naturally? poo! I dunno! ;P
On another note, I hope we don't lose touch! I think you are wonderful! And whenever you are up for a visit, PLEASE let us know. ;) (And I haven't forgotten about Viv's outfit, I got a little backed up. The shirt is done, but I have to make the jeans. Elyana picked the fabric from my stash, and she asked me to make her a matching shirt. It is SOOOO cute! =)

HUGS!!!

I don't think friendships matter less, I just ...

2009-12-15T16:28:59.337-06:00

I don't think friendships matter less, I just think you are right that as people get older they are far less likely to let new people into their life unless they seem instantly like soul mates or something. I do think that as we get older the friendships we do put effort into are probably going to last longer becuase we have been through enough to know what we want/need out of a friendship. I have many good acquaintances that are female, most acquired bc my male friends from college married really cool women (i was always a tomboy) but I make an effort with their wives now more than I do the guys. But, I have maybe one - maybe two people that I feel I could tell anything to and trust them, but on a daily basis I don't see them and don't talk to them due to geography and lifestyle. So, like you my closest thing to a bff is my husband. I do find it super hard to find other female friends who like to do all the same stuf I do. I admit I'm picky though and I don't easily let people in, just have trust issues from being burned by too many allegedly "bff's" in the past.

moving and making friends is so hard in your 30's, but if you will be there awhile, I suspect you'll find a very solid friend or two. BFF? maybe not, but people you can trust and count on - i bet that will happen.....and I hope so as you deserve it!

In the past few years, I've become very close ...

2009-12-15T14:05:23.840-06:00

In the past few years, I've become very close to a few other moms in my neighborhood. Up until that point, I kind of had a bunch of "friends" that I would see ever so often, but no regular buddy to call. I think the friendships you make as you get older are more authentic in many ways. My virtual friendships have become very important to me lately. I love my blogging buddies (like you:)

This post sooo sounds like me!!! I have a couple o...

2009-12-15T13:13:15.637-06:00

This post sooo sounds like me!!! I have a couple of friends, people whom I can count on and talk to, but no BFF. Jay (my hubby) is one of my best friends, and I chat to my mom daily, making her a great friend as well as my mom, and these people seem to keep me sane!!! Thank goodness for them :)

I guess that we will both have to continue on the search for a BFF :) Or not!!! I like the idea of being my own BFF!

I am a crazy person some times, and if I had to be...

2009-12-15T12:03:00.413-06:00

I am a crazy person some times, and if I had to be my own BFF I am a little afraid of what might happen to me.

I have two sisters, and though we are closer than we were as kids, we still aren't BFF's by any means. I know they will be there for me if I need them, but with them, everything comes with a price.

Leland is definitely my best friend in the whole world and my partner. I can always count on him to have my back, help me be stronger, calm me down, and make me laugh. But when I am falling to pieces, I go to Nic (Siren on my blog).

She picks me up when I need her to, tells me I'm not losing my mind, makes me laugh, sits with me when I cry, holds my hand when I need her to. We have no secrets between us and I often feel like no one will ever understand me the way she does. Not even Leland.

It's interesting that I have known my sisters forever and they don't seem to know me at all, but I have only known Leland for 7 years and Nic for 6 years and they somehow know me and understand me better than anyone.

I think it is important to have a BFF, or at least a few different people you can count on for different things. Keep looking and don't give up because your soul mate BFF is out there somewhere.

I don't find it difficult - I just don't c...

2009-12-15T11:52:09.358-06:00

I don't find it difficult - I just don't care as much!

Just for the record I feel a lot more comfortable ...

2009-12-15T11:05:09.344-06:00

Just for the record I feel a lot more comfortable with my two sisters these days. Yep even both of them. I think working with them through getting Mom in the nursing home has brought us all closer for the good.

Plus now that I have two beautiful grand daughters old Dad/ Buddy has mellowed with age. I truly do care about both families very much.

Sure a brother would have been nice when we wouldn't be beating each other up. But today my two grand girls make up for any brothers I could have had. The past couple of years and present with Brooklynn have been great.
I know that soon Vivian will enter that same stage. Three and four years old are some great years to spend with these little ones.
Just hang in there your new B F F is right under your eyes. And the next couple of years you'll have the best time of your life with her. I know I plan too!!

DAD/ Buddy