Mandy's Life After 30

Drifting (a poem)

2012-02-11T04:50:00.001-06:00

Drifting

Pull away from the safety net
Swim into the unknown

Slow down your breath
Feel your pulse
You'll find the still truth

Away from the chaos
Apart from the openness
I find myself drifting

Although the island invites me back
I avert my eyes to the lonely sea

Assuring within that this is my place
Floating my way to resolution

I have hardly moved
Yet, I've truly leaped
Into where I must be.

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I haven't written a poem in a long time. But sleepless nights, a bit of reflection and some introspection will sometimes cause thoughts and words to flow together. The above lines came to me recently in less than five minutes.

There's No Use Crying Over Spilled Urine

2012-02-01T19:21:00.001-06:00

The title of this blog post is not incorrect. I'm not referring to milk. I'm talking about actual urine, my own pee-pee. Here, let me explain.

I had a doctor's visit with my OBGYN this week. I've hit the last trimester of this pregnancy. I'm right at 28 weeks. Can I get a woot-woot? Amen! I have just three months (or less) to go, thankfully.

Like any visit to the gynecologist, you have to give a urine sample to the doctor so they can examine it for any causes of concern. No big deal. I'm over six months pregnant; therefore I always have to pee.   What I had forgotten though since my last pregnancy was how hard it is to pee into a small cup when you look down and can't see your own waistline anymore! When your belly is bulging so big that you don't clearly see or focus on much of anything down there. Enter my problem and the reason for this post.

I'm in the potty room (aka urination factory) at the doctor's assuming the position with my cup in hand. I lean over trying to "aim" as best as I can. (Is this how men feel?) To my surprise, my aim isn't very good. In fact, I appear to have multiple streams with minds of their own. They don't like the target (aka cup). They'd rather make a bulls-eye for my hand, arm, opposite end of the toilet. Yeah, I wish I were joking!

Finally I get some into the cup and I'm trying not to gag at the fact that my hand is soaked with my pee. It is mine after all, not a stranger's. I set it down on the floor, wowing to wipe my hands first before I wipe down the side of the cup that also is dripping with the yellow stuff.   As I'm leaning over grabbing toilet paper, I lose my balance and then knock over the container with my urine sample....

Oh shit! I cry out. Even though it wasn't shit. That would be much, much worse. I snatched the sample cup at the last moment where it still had a few droplets of my urine in it. Nevermind that my nearly clean hand is now covered once again with pee and my urine is now trickling around the entire bathroom floor, inching its way to the door too. Sigh!    Maybe someone needs to potty train me!

So here I am with my six month pregnant belly, bent over with my underwear at my feet, cleaning up my urine sample and my pee all over the floor. I'm frantically grabbing at paper towels, trying to wet them and silently thanking the heavens that I'm in a one-person bathroom instead of a three-unit or more parade of people doing their business.   Because it's bad enough that I'm belly on the floor, naked butt in the air cleaning up my urine but thank goodness no others had a chance of walking in on me or seeing me at the very least!

So yeah, pregnancy.... it's fun times people! There is no use crying over stuff like this. You just laugh to get through it, clean up your mess and squeeze out a few more drops to complete that sample.

Despite this crazy incident, I won't complain too much about my circumstances. The pregnancy has been going well. I'm feeling good and the baby is thriving inside me, kicking me and alerting me of her whereabouts on a daily basis.

When I'm not in need of a mop for my urine, I busy myself with other amusing things. For example, I wore mismatching shoes one day last week to work. No one seemed to notice though. I put one earring on and then forgot the other one not too long ago. I'm leaving my dog outside for hours because I let him out to do his business then become distracted and forget he's out there patiently waiting by the door.   Who knows what I'm in for next?

I'll just keep laughing and cleaning up the messes I make, that's for sure! :-)

Three

2012-01-19T18:10:00.001-06:00

Lately I've been thinking about the number three. There are a lot of three's staring me in the face these days.

I'm 33 years old. I'm okay with that for the most part. Sometimes I think I could be doing more or should have done more with my life. But I also know I'm in a good place mentally, physically and probably even professionally too. Age is just a number and the older I become, I find myself more comfortable with me and who I am.

I am about to enter my third trimester of pregnancy. Only three months to go. I can tell I'm nearing the finish line too. The comments are being thrown at me left and right making it impossible to forget. I no longer get politely asked if I'm pregnant, people just know. It's obvious. This morning my daughter's preschool teacher asked how I was feeling. Then right after that the school secretary said, "I can tell you're growing (points to my belly). When are you due?" I just smile and respond. It doesn't bother me as much as it did with my first pregnancy. I'm mostly happy to just be pregnant and to be crossing into that last point.

That brings me to my third thought about the number three. I'm currently a family of three - my husband Kirk, my four year old daughter Vivian and me. (Sorry but I don't count my dog or the fish we house either). We're so used to being the three of us, of going out to restaurants and saying "Table for three." I'm wondering how that will all change when we become a family of four, sometime around April 27 (my due date). I know our lives will be very hectic just after number four arrives.

So lately I have really been trying to soak up my current little family and to spend as much free time as I can stand enjoying with my one daughter. Vivian and I have been playing lots of board games. I've been painting her finger nails. We kick the soccer ball around the yard and have a picnic in her tree house (even though I can barely get my pregnant self up the stairs to stoop under her kid-size play set). I've been reading to her and reminding her of how much I love her. Every day she asks me if my back hurts. (Ha ha!) She's gotten used to me not getting on the floor with her but rather sitting on the sofa, the rocking chair or on her bed to read books or arrange stickers. She's been such a great kid these days, not that she wasn't before.... But she's been extra affectionate, understanding and funny. I'm a little scared at how she might change and be affected by her baby sister.

In my heart though, I know she'll be okay after some adjustment time. I am partly doing this for her anyway. I wanted to have another child because I love her to pieces and I thought, how great would it be for her to be a big sister. Then when I found out I was having another girl, I was even more thrilled. Deep down, I wanted another girl. I want Vivian to experience what I didn't have and always wanted - having a sister, a best friend (hopefully) for life. I know not all sisters are close but I think they have a better chance at being close friends if they are of the same gender. I can't wait to nurture that relationship and watch my girls play together.

As "three" weighs on my mind, so do a lot of other numbers and tasks that haunt me. I try to remember to take deep breaths. I've been escaping into a book when I have a few minutes of spare time or I can't sleep at night. I try to do ten minutes of my prenatal Pilates exercise several times per week. I do what I can.

Changes they are a comin' and soon I'll be happy if I can just have three minutes of silence or three hours of uninterrupted sleep. Ahhh, let the fun (insanity) begin!

New Years Resolutions for 2012

2012-01-04T09:53:00.001-06:00

Some people think New Years Resolutions are a silly notion. In the past, I'll admit, I have often found them amusing or unattainable. But despite a person's ability to keep them or not, there is certainly nothing wrong with having goals, especially ones that may enhance your well being.

I took a week and a half break from my normal routine over Christmas and New Years. I had the opportunity to visit with relatives and some friends that I haven't seen in awhile. Those visits or non-visits that didn't occur were a real eye opener for me. I also went off the grid (or offline) from the usual internet distractions that sometimes plague my daily day. It was refreshing and I realized how much I didn't miss those things. During a long car ride and during sleepless nights I had over a period of nine days, That gave me the chance to do some real reflection about my own life and what I want from it. From that, I came up with these ten simple, and I believe doable resolutions for me in 2012:

1. 1. Reorganize and re-purpose things in my life.

2. 2. Spend more quality time with my immediate family – husband and daughters.

3. 3. Work harder and smarter at my job.

4. 4. Eat more fruits and veggies. Don’t stop eating chocolate or having coffee. Don't follow any diets because I don't believe in that crap.

5. 5. Spend less time online on sites like Facebook, Pinterest, online groups and other sites that have brought me only distractions, not real meaning or happiness.

6. 6. Spend ten minutes a day exercising or meditating and reflecting.

7. 7. Find time to read for pleasure and for purpose each week. Read to my girls more.

8. 8. Write down stories and memories for my daughters.

9. 9. Say I love you and offer hugs to those folks who really matter to me.

1 10. Enjoy the daily things and my life now (especially since I don’t really believe in an ‘afterlife’).

I look forward to making these goals a reality and to simplifying my life with greater meaning in the coming year. My best to you in having a great year as well.

How Do You NOT Compare?

2011-12-06T02:56:00.005-06:00

On a recent trip to visit relatives over Thanksgiving break, I was reminded how much parents (and grandparents) compare their children (and grandchildren). People measure the worth, talent, intelligence, appearance and more of individuals, even when those individuals are only four years old like my daughter.

Here are a few of the comments that were made about my kid comparing her to other children:

- "Look at her, my God she's beautiful."
- "Her teeth are so much prettier than his. He just had cavities at the dentist." (I then admitted how I have not taken my child to see a dentist yet).
- "She never stops talking. She uses so many words and phrases. She's so smart as compared to ____".
- "She is obedient and really listens. She just did what you asked her to whereas ____ didn't listen."

You would think that the above statements would make me feel good as a parent, that I'd be proud to be the mother of this good-looking, perfect teeth, intelligent, well-behaved child. But I wasn't. Instead I thought, sure she is all those things but why compare her to ???? Why is there a measurement stick that she or this other person needs to reach?

It bothered me instead of delighted me, as crazy as that may seem.

But it wasn't just my child that was being compared. No, no, no. I saw other family members comparing their children - one was bad, the other good, even though the two were sitting right there in a random cafe being ridiculed or praised by their mother.

I heard stories about two siblings, how one took the better, high road and how the other one will never reach true potential.

My head was stuffed with so many insights and opinions about comparisons that I began to literally feel sick. I wanted to stick out my tongue, place both fingers in my ears and just run away to a quiet place.

I'm heartbroken and disappointed. But most of all I'm worried that I'm going to do the same thing with my two children. Here I am with a four year old daughter and I'm also five months pregnant with a second girl on the way (YES, ITS A GIRL! And I couldn't be happier to have another female to bring up in this world!) BUT....How can I prevent myself from measuring my two girls against each other?

How do you NOT compare your children? Chances are, they will be nothing alike. Chances are, they'll look different. They may sound different. They will have different likes and dislikes. One will be shorter, rounder than the other. One will love science experiments and one will love reading fiction. One female will be boy-crazy at an early age and the other will be a late bloomer. How can I treat them each as unique people without them (and me) feeling like they need to be equals on every trait, skill and goal in life?

I think about this. It worries me when I still have one in the womb.

Furthermore, how do you NOT compare your siblings against yourself? How do you NOT compare your parenting skills against another person?

I am concerned because I'm guilty of this nasty habit too. I hear myself comparing me to my sibling, to my friends, to co-workers, to other mothers, wives, etc. And when I do, there is almost always disappointment. Even if I feel a slight achievement above another person for a few minutes, hours or even days if I'm lucky, I later feel remorse for having those thoughts. So thus, disappointment and disillusion are inevitable.

Maybe there isn't an answer. Not unless you live up in a tree in India or on on a remote island. But even Tom Hanks' character felt guilt and remorse over his volleyball Wilson in the film Castaway. We can't escape it completely, I suppose.

I just hope that I learn to see the good values in both of my children without needing/wanting them to be too much like the other. I hope that as I become older, I realize the dangers of unnecessary comparisons like the above statements said by family members. I hope that I will remember that in the end - how you looked, talked, the job you did and how well-behaved you were doesn't really matter all that much. Instead, I think it's more about the life you led, the people you touched and the path you chose.

I hope I'll read these words I just wrote every so often to stifle myself when I begin to compare one person to another.

Progress Report

2011-11-20T19:44:00.005-06:00

My daughter attends a day care/ preschool every weekday. Each evening when my husband or I pick her up, we receive a daily progress report on how Vivian acted that day and what she learned in class. She's always gotten a green light (good) report. Yet every now and then, there is a comment on there about my daughter's personality or behavior that leaves something to laugh about or something to be desired.

This is one we received on Friday, November 18:

If you have trouble reading the above image, here is what it says. "A good day but Vivian needs to work on not telling the other students what to do. That's for the teachers to do."

Well like any normal person or mom, I immediately busted out laughing when I read those lines. I thought that was so funny that they wrote that on the progress sheet. I wondered how much it annoyed the teacher and how much it annoyed the kids.

I can so picture my bossy daughter doing this. In fact, I have witnessed it numerous times. However, the thing about Vivian is that in her four-year old mind, she really believes she is "helping" by doing that. For example, when she hears her friends being corrected by their parents, she repeats the rules word for word and tells her friends so. Most of the time, I say to her, "Let the parents tell their children what to do." Other times, I just giggle over it.

My daughter can be a diva but so far, she's not a mean and spiteful kid. I watch her with other children. She's kind and helpful and will even share most of the time. She's come a long way since the terrible two's. However, she is Type A personality and she's got her OCD quirks too. She has a natural tendency to boss and lead, I think. And who I am to inhibit that? Deep down, I find it an admirable trait of Vivian. I can picture her being a CEO, Manager or President of a company someday in the future. She was born to tell others what to do. In fact, I know she'll love her baby brother or sister (coming in April 2012) because she can boss that sibling around for at least the first several years, LOL!

Two years ago, a note like that might have bothered me. Even a year ago, I might have worried over what kind of child I have. But this year and even today, I know better! So I have a few progress reports of my own that I will write below:

Here's my progress report for my daughter Vivian - You're a funny girl and I love who you are! Don't change!

Here's my progress report for her teacher - Lighten up! Smile. My kid is just trying to help.

Here's my progress report for myself and for other moms out there - Trust your instincts. Know your kid. And learn to laugh at the things that are silly when it comes to your child's education and when to take it seriously.

Have a great progress report day everyone! And a Happy Thanksgiving too!

Feel Better, Write A Letter

2011-11-11T10:01:00.004-06:00

It's no secret on here that I enjoy writing letters. In the past, I've pretended to be my toddler and wrote from what I imagined to be her point of view. I've written complaint letters to different household appliances of mine. I've written love letters to my shower head, ceiling fan and kitchen counter tops.

That got me thinking lately..... maybe I should write a book that contains nothing but random letters. I might call it, "Feel Better, Write A Letter." It would contain funny, short letters about the daily things I encounter like how I was recently annoyed at someone talking on the phone in the bathroom stall next to me while I peed. I wanted to say, "Hey, I hope you're enjoying my stream of urination!" You know, stuff like that. But then I'd probably also include a few sweet, loving letters to my family and friends and nature perhaps as well.

It could be a short, semi-thick book, the kind you see next to Hallmark cards in the drugstore. Yeah, I can picture it. A book you bring with you in the bathroom or read in the doctor's office.

Now that I'm sharing this idea, someone will probably put it together and some celebrity will coin it as her own. Deep thoughts from my Prison Cell by Lindsay Lohan. Or Dancing my way to Laughter by Rikki Lake.

So we'll see if I really pull this together or not. But in the mean time, here are a few samples I have written:

Dear Cell Phone Talker in the Ladies' Restroom,
I realize that it's not convenient to quit your conversation when you enter a restroom. I realize that you have no disregard for others hearing your words that should not be uttered in a public place. You must have a very understanding friend on that other line who doesn't mind you passing gas. I hope the recipient of your call enjoyed hearing my long stream of urination. I had saved that up awhile - a bottle of water and a cup of coffee. I have to wonder if anything is private or sacred to you. Perhaps you'll share your future constipation episodes on You Tube or Facebook. I wonder if you'll bother to put your caller on hold while you change for a menstrual cycle. Whatever the case may be, I'm sure glad I was able to join in on your fun.

Dear Maternity Pants,
It has been awhile since our departure, over four years in fact. I hope that you will lift me up once again and carry me through the next several months of this pregnancy. Please give me the strength I need to keep my mouth shut and not slap a stranger when he/she asks if I’m having twins or more (just as they did last time). Thank you for your support, literally. And let the fun begin!

Dear Dirty Sink,
Yes I know you won't clean yourself! But how is it that you get so bloated so quickly? Why do you always have to have a party and invite lots of friends to join you in the dirty swimming pool? You can be such a whore sometimes. And why are you often the most disgusting place in my house? Hey don't look at me like that! I'll pour some soap right down your throat! In fact, I'll get the bleach out! Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you? To you, it is receiving a full body massage with a hot sponge while I scrub away the scum that you were with last night! Fine, let's make a deal. Let's clean up today. Then you have your filthy mouth again tomorrow.

Dear Growing Pregnancy Boobs,
I know people are attracted to you. My husband can't stop staring at you. But must you act like a magnet for everything I eat and everything I drink, too? What others don't know is that you're exhausting me. You're dead weight. You are sore without even doing any kind of exercise! You don't fit right into any shirt I wear. You're dragging and slowing me down there girls! Shape up, will ya? We've still got a long way to go and I'd hate to see you get left behind.

Anyway, the above is just a few snippets of my writing. That is how I envision a book like this to unfold. I always feel a little bit better after I write a letter, whether it's sweet, mean or sarcastic. I usually just do it for me and to get my feelings out in the open.

What do you think? Would you be interested in a book like this? Or shall I throw it in my dirty sink?

Filling in the Gaps

2011-11-09T20:16:00.003-06:00

I can hardly believe it's been eight months since I've been on this blog. For awhile, I thought I might never come back. Yet like all things in life, we go back to what we care about and those tools that help shape us. And this blog does (sometimes) give me a sense of purpose and serves as a written diary in my often-forgotten memory these days.

Still I have no regrets over my absence. I needed the time away. Time to reflect. Time to prioritize. There were some emotions I had to deal with privately instead of publicly. I needed to stop reading other people's lives and focus more on my own. That is the downfall of today's technology -- too many distractions and a lot out there to scare you or make you feel bad. However, now I'm in a place where I feel happier, more relaxed and ready to share again.

I guess I'll just start by filling in the gaps for the past several months....

March - This was the month when I began a bit of a downward spiral and when I stopped blogging. I found out I was pregnant only to have an early miscarriage just two days later. I can talk about it now without any problems. It's good therapy. But at the time, I was very, very upset about it. You see, my husband Kirk and I had been trying for nearly eight months and I was becoming frustrated over it. Then when I finally saw that plus sign (pink line), I was overjoyed. Then I was quickly robbed of that happiness. Meanwhile everyone around me was getting pregnant or having babies and I just couldn't be happy for them, not any of them as selfish as that sounds. It was a tough time for me. But like I said, I can talk about it now. Miscarriages happen all the time to women and they don't always know why. Many ladies don't even know they had one if they're not keeping track of their cycles. I know what I went through is no big deal compared to the losses of so many others. Yet for me at the time, it was enough to send me into hiding for a few weeks and cry for several days straight. This was also the time when I began growing tired of my stay-at-home motherhood days. I found that both my daughter Vivian and me were getting bored of our routine. Nothing seemed to be going right.

April - This month things began to perk up. I had the chance to follow my husband to San Diego, California for a work trip. I tagged along and took a mini-vacation and left Vivian behind with her grandparents for the first time more than one night. I was so happy to have the time away. Best of all, I had the opportunity to spend two days with an amazing friend of mine named Carrie. She has become a special person in my life and one who helped me through the first rough year of motherhood. I was so happy to meet her along with her husband and two beautiful kids. I took the train two hours each way for two days to see her. And the train ride was so peaceful and interesting. I either read my captivating book or stared at the window at the hills and sights. It was just what I needed.

In April I also received a phone call out of the blue about not one, but two job opportunities at the local university in Pensacola, FL where I lived. I interviewed for both positions and accepted the job that seemed like the best fit for me. I made arrangements to begin working in May.

May - I started my job at UWF and the transition was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Vivian started a day care (preschool). She did great except for refusing to potty at school for the first month. She had a few accidents even though she had been potty-trained for over a year. But eventually she came around and everything seemed to be working out. I quickly became acclimated to the workplace again and realized how much I enjoyed the educational environment. The people at my work are super nice and my bosses are great too. Finally I feel like I may have found the place that I was meant to be working. I even begin looking into Master's Degree programs too. I had fun shopping for new work clothes, like this pretty dress that I proudly try on:

June - For this month it was more like the month of May except it became easier. I had gotten used to packing lunches for Vivian, Kirk and myself. The routine of waking up at the same time each day became the norm. Vivian seemed happy at her new place and was making friends in her class. I began to gain confidence once again in my work skills, especially considering I had not been in the workforce for a year and a half!   I felt valued and important. We were bringing in extra money in our bank account. Things were going well. The only picture that I have to share for this month includes one of Vivian and Kirk on Father's Day. Aren't they both just a pair of cuties? :)

July - Hmm, July seems like a blur to me now. I remember we took a trip to New Orleans to visit family members. I recall thinking and saying that it had been the easiest road trip we had ever taken since we only stopped once and never worried about Vivian having to potty or getting fussy like she did when she was younger. It is always great to see family and spend time with relatives we only see a few times per year. We fine dined at Ruth's Chris steakhouse with my in-laws. We enjoyed seafood at my sister-in-law's house. We did a lot of laughing and carrying on and eating too much. That's what N'awlin's is all about though! :-)

August - This was a busy month full of celebrations!   First my long time friend that has known me my entire life came to visit me in Pensacola. My pal Jynell has a son named Jayden that is the same age as Vivian. We had a great time entertaining them, taking them to the beach, the naval aviation museum and more! I was so happy she came to see us!

After that was my birthday, the big 33 and I had this wild idea of making three cakes for myself within one week! You can read about the cakes I made on my other blog and see how one of them was a messy disaster that luckily turned out tasting great. In fact, I made an awesome nutella cake that was my absolute favorite!

After that, Kirk and I celebrated nine years of marriage. Then soon after that, my parents visited during their 40th wedding anniversary in August too.   Lots of love was in the air that month! :-)

September - This month brought about a surprise, one that was unexpected and that I feared would not come again. I discovered I was pregnant. After one year and three months of trying to conceive, I saw the pink line and the plus sign. Only this time it didn't disappear after a few days as it had in March. It stuck around. Soon I began feeling nauseous for half the day for two weeks straight. I tried not to complain though. I was happy over the news but trying not to get too excited for fear of losing another one. Instead I focused on our a visit from my in-laws and on making Kirk's birthday special. I hired my friend to make him a birthday cake in the shape of an ice chest full of his favorite beer. He absolutely loved it!

October - I had my first visit with my OBGYN and had my first ultrasound done on October 3. I was ten weeks pregnant and past the dangerous part of my pregnancy. I began to relax and enjoy my news. I also began telling people - my bosses, co-workers, friends and then everyone I know on Facebook. I had some hilarious conversations with Vivian about her becoming a big sister and me having a baby in my belly. I wrote some of those discussions down and will have to share them soon. The pregnancy sickness was fading and things seemed to be looking up for me. I learned that a possible new opportunity at my work may be coming open soon that I would qualify for and it would be more money and more freedom than what I'm currently doing.   We celebrated Vivian's fourth birthday party. I can hardly believe my baby girl is now a girl and not a toddler anymore. She's so gorgeous and so grown up these days. You can carry on endless conversations with her!

November - Now here we are in November and my life is reaching new heights! I'm now four months pregnant and my belly is expanding. I don't seem to mind though. In fact, I find myself driving through fast-food joints for breakfast a few times per week without any guilt.   I find myself daydreaming about how our lives are going to change after next April (my due date is April 27). I know it won't be easy and our family dynamic will be altered but I think I'm ready for yet another change in my life. I'm ready to see this baby through the eyes of my daughter and with a new maturity that I didn't have nearly five years ago when motherhood began for me.

When I started life at 30, I wondered how I'd ever find my way and if I'd ever find the answers to my questions. Now I'm starting to see that life after 30 is really quite amazing. And I don't care if I ever find the answers, just as long as I have this journey and these incredible people around me (like pictured below) to share it with.

Love and hugs,

Blogging, Binges and Books

2011-03-11T16:18:00.005-06:00

Lately I've been so absent from blogging. Sometimes I even forget that I have this blog anymore. That's so crazy? I'm not sure if that's good or bad. It is what it is though. Life is keeping me busy and I haven't felt like writing much these days.

Well, actually, I do still write. Lately it just comes in the form of lists, random quotes, song lyrics or something funny my daughter said to me during the day. I had an idea for a play to write. Then I changed my mind about that and scratched the idea. I have an idea to write a few short stories but I haven't started those yet. I may or may not write a sequel cookbook. I don't know. I can't make up my mind yet. And for the first time in a long time, that doesn't bother me one bit.

Looking back at my blog two years ago, I was writing nearly every day. I put pressure on myself to keep doing it. Some posts were hilarious and witty. Some were just plain crap. I feel like several of my recent (but scarce) posts have been crap too. But that's okay. I liked the first Twilight book but can NOT, I mean I can NOT get through the second book New Moon. Maybe we're only good with the original version and a 2.0 or a sequel of myself just cannot be written. After two years, I am just not that interesting anymore, LOL!

Seriously though, I just seem to be focused on other things. In fact I wonder if blogging is losing its luster for me. I hardly keep up with my blogging friends anymore either (you!). I feel bad about that. I do care about them (about you) and I do find their stories (your stories) so interesting but again.... things change. I am changing.

I'll always be glad I started this blog. My friend Jen told me recently I should defnitely NOT delete it or get rid of it completely. And I won't. But for now I view it as a long-distance friend....one that I will call upon (write on) every so often when I want to hear its voice (share my voice). I can't get motivated beyond that at the present time.

The reason that blogging is becoming uninteresting to me is because I'm a binge person. There, I said it. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right? I can be a binger.

Let me clarify. I don't binge eat (except the occasional chocolate festival during menstrual cycles or tough times). I don't binge drink (except for rare weddings, family gatherings or Mardi Gras parades). But I binge in other ways.

I binge in my activities and life routines. I get really into a project, goal, music, book, or whatever the case may be and then I get bored. My husband points this out to me all the time. In fact he marvels at the fact that I'm happily married and committed to him and our relationship when I so often move from one thing to another in every other aspect of my life. Strangely enough, my relationships with people never get old to me. Not those that I love and care about! The rest though comes and goes....

For example, I've been having the same John Mayer music CD in my car since the holidays. It's all I want to listen to lately, his Continuum album. I spent most of last year running and doing the 30-day shred. Now I am bored with those workouts and want to take up yoga. I've been volunteering a lot with a mom's group but I'm looking forward to relinquishing those duties soon. I go through periods of not doing anything to deepen and enhance my spirituality. Then I get pulled deep into it and can think of hardly anything else. I will let my house become filthy and then try to clean it all up in one day and obsess over the sudden thought of clean toilets and spotless floors.

Binge. Binge. Binge. Why am I like this?

My newest binge or obsession this week is Books, but in paticular a book site called "Good Reads." A friend told me about it months ago and has been suggesting I try it. Finally I did after I read a memoir that I really enjoyed this week.

I maneuvered my way around this "Good Reads" site and somehow managed to upload 20 books I've read or want to read, complete with reviews in less than two hours. I even thought back to a few stories that I read over 5 years ago but still remembered vividly. Then suddenly the site was linking me with other people I know or sort of know. Interesting and thrilling.

Maybe this is the new "blog" for me - just checking out what others are reading and their reviews and ratings of books?? Who knows!?

But that's what is happening with me as of lately. I'm around and doing well. I'm reading more, writing less but enjoying life when I can. If something exciting and worth sharing comes up, I'll be sure and post it here.

Until then, I hope you're doing well. I'll close with a few great quotes I wrote down from that recent book I've read, Devotion by Dani Shapiro.

--"I'm cultivating myself, fostering personal growth."

--"Those who seek the purest spiritual knowledge do so alone."

--"The whole world is a lesson and the lesson keeps changing."

--"Begin again."

--"Please allow my heart to be open to all that is."

--"May I be safe, May I be happy, May I be strong, May I live with ease."

To you - my friends and few readers - if you see this post, please know that I wish you the same. I wish that you be safe, be happy, be strong and live with ease! Lots of love to you!

New Memories, Fears, Additions and Random Thoughts

2011-02-28T20:08:00.003-06:00

Wow, it's the last day of February. Where did the month go? Time is just flying by these days. I haven't taken the time to write about life or stop for much these days, except to sleep at night. I'm not complaining though. Sometimes that is just the way of the world.

But I wanted to reflect on the things we've done and gotten to see in the past few weeks. So here I go:

New Memories:

(1) We took a trip to see family about two weeks ago. I had the chance to see several aunts, uncles, cousins and relatives that I had not seen in over two years. A few of them had never even met Vivian before. We all had a huge family dinner (about 35 people) at a local seafood restaurant. It was a lot of fun. I give credit to my parents for organizing and arranging it all with the place. Vivian had a great time playing with her cousins as you'll see in these photos:

(2) During that trip to see family, I had a few nostalgic moments.   I was thinking a lot about my two grandfathers who passed away years ago. My parents have two eulogies of them both hanging on their walls - one is a poem I wrote for one; the other was a letter my brother wrote and read at the other's funeral. In addition, I visited my grandmother in the nursing home and it saddened me to know that she may not be with us for very much longer. My dad and his siblings are selling her house.   She spent over 60 years in that place so it's weird to know that someone else will be living there soon. I had the opportunity to go through it and pick out a few things from her kitchen and bedrooms for sentimental reasons. (I'm actually working on a blog post about that now.)

While chatting during that visit, my sister in law Karen tells me that she's been playing around on the site ancestry.com to work on the family tree for both sides of her family.   Talking to her and being around my older relatives makes me wish I had talked more to my grandparents and taken notes about their stories, lives and mannerisms as I was growing up and while they were younger. Their way of life was so different than today's age and I really should have done a better job of finding a way to preserve it for my daughter. Even though my two grandmothers are not always coherent when they speak, I hope to explore options of talking to their siblings and children to build my own family tree that I can share with Vivian someday.

We love you Maw-Maw.

New Fears:

(3) Vivian has a new phobia: bugs. Not just any bug either. ALL BUGS. Flies, caterpillars, bees, dragonflies, mosquitos, millipedes, ants, and just anything related that flies or crawls and creeps around. On Saturday a fly flew into the car and she went into full on hysterics - crying real tears, screaming, kicking her feet. Kirk was driving and I was sitting in the front passenger seat. We rolled the windows down. We tried to soothe her that it would not bite her or harm her. Nothing seemed to work. Nothing. Sigh!   A friend told me it's important not to overlook this fear even though it seems silly to us as parents. She's really upset over this. It's going to be a long spring and summer season with these kind of episodes. I hope things improve or that I can at least find a way to help my daughter cope with this fear.

(4) During the recent visit to see family, I noticed that everyone (myself included) is getting older and that the time is growing shorter. Seeing and realizing this reminds me of my own biggest fear: Death. I'm afraid to die. There I said it. I'm typing it out loud. I'm scared of death. I know I'm not alone in this fear but sometimes I feel like I am. I suppose it's because of my uncertainties of what lies after death and my religious confusion and lack of faith on most days. What can we do to help relief these kind of deep fears though? Death is inevitable. The circle of life and all that jazz. Maybe that's why I'm blogging and writing less though these days. I miss it yet I'm out enjoying more in my surroundings.

New Additions (...How $2 quickly turned into $100...):

Speaking of enjoying my surroundings more, our family visited a Renaissance Fair over the weekend. We saw all kinds of crazy sites. And I'm not just talking about the people dressed in strange costumes, which included a giant wizard, a Capt. Jack Sparrow copycat and a woman with black horns and black wings.  Walking around we also saw real elephants, camels, a puppet show, Irish step dancers and all the typical greasy foods that are hard to resist. I stopped as I past a game booth that said, "Frog Catapult." Something about it caught my eye. So I entered.

The cost was $1 for three throws. The object of the game was to use a hammer to catapult a plastic frog into a basket. The winner got to choose a goldfish. I didn't come close for the first three throws. So I paid another dollar and played again. Kirk wasn't interested in playing so it was up to me. Two more throws and I missed it again. Finally on my sixth and last throw, the frog went into the basket. Yes! Victory!   Cue music "We are the champions....."   So Vivian got to choose a fish from their tank.

(5) So yes, we have a new addition to our family: A goldfish!

But with a face as happy as this (see below photos), you'd have done the same thing!

Vivian proudly carried around the prize fish all over the fairgrounds. She never let that fish go. She seemed to flaunt it and hold it up high as we continued to walk around. It was quite comical. We received all kinds of stares and comments about this fish. I'll admit.... I LOVED IT! I felt like the rock star mom who won my kid a fish at the fair! I was awesome! Oh yeah!

That awesome feeling wore off in the car ride home though as we realized that we had no place to put this fish and no holding tank for it. Not very smart thinking of me, the mommy but oh well.... A quick trip to the pet store and we bought everything we needed, including two other goldfish.   And that my friends is how a two dollar prize fish can end up costing you one hundred dollars.

But again, just look at this happy face (below):

Now my only hope is that our new pets - "Shark Bait," "Diva" and "Sassy" will be around for awhile and we won't have to rename them Dead Fish #1, 2 and 3.   We'll keep you posted on their progress. So far they are thriving but it's only been one day!

Other Random Thoughts:

(6) While traveling to and from Louisiana, I had a few hours of uninterrupted time reading in the car. I'm half-way through the book "The Happiness Project," which I'm really, really enjoying. The author says a few things in the book that I find very interesting that I want to share here:

- "Fake it until you feel it." (She's not talking about sex either, just general life happenings.) Sometimes we don't feel like doing things but we just have to. So if we act the way we want to feel and give it a try, we can often surprise ourselves!

- "What you do every day matters more than what you do once in awhile." For example, my husband is not one to give me gifts or flowers. But I feel loved by him every day in his words and his actions. That does say much more to me than a box of chocolates or a diamond necklace ever would.

- "Be True To Who You Are. Acknowledge what you enjoy not just what you wish you enjoyed" So true! I love the idea of knitting or gardening but it's just not who I am!

- "Lighten up. Be silly. Joke more. Start new family traditions and have family theme nights to break up the boring routine." I love the ideas the author discusses in her book!

- "Everything is beautiful. But some things appeal more to us than others." One man's treasure is another person's junk.

The book has also given me some great suggestions on how I can declutter my house, organize my pictures and other memorabilia and has my brain churning on some special gifts that I want to put together for my friends. I love it when a book has me excited and ready to take action in my own life!

What's happening in your world these days? I am looking forward to springtime. Although here in Florida, it already feels like the season has begun!

Life is a Playground (And so is our backyard).

2011-02-16T17:38:00.001-06:00

Every single day,
I wake up and play

With a beautiful little girl
Who has a head-full of curls.

When my daughter is not starting a war,
She truly is my shining star.

I laugh and smile so much these days
The hours pass on and time is a haze.

We live in a pretend world, a play zone
Where our dreams and hopes are our own.

She sees things in delight and wonder
From a red stop sign to the sound of thunder.

I forget my life before she came along
For now we sing a new song.

Tunes of silliness, words of laughter
And movies where things end happily ever after.

I know these days won't always last
I know the future will have disappointments that appear fast.

Yet now I'm enjoying the simple playground
The one where I see happiness and hear joyful sounds.

As we climb the wall, slide down and swing
I'm reminded of the precious gift that life brings.

Of how we're only here for a short time
Something I can't even capture in this rhyme.

How I want to cherish moments - spend them having fun
Before the hour glass runs out and time is done.

I'm going to play hard and be in the wild
For myself, for my husband and for my gorgeous child.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Here are the photos and the three year old that inspired the above, simple poem:

Do you make time to "play" each day? I'm trying to remember that my life is a playground. Now I have a constant reminder in my own backyard! :)

Finding The Balance

2011-02-02T15:14:00.007-06:00

I've been thinking a lot about balance in my life lately. Perhaps it has to do with recent conversations I've had with friends. My pal and I were talking about how to fit it all in within a day. And by "fit it all in" I mean a combination of taking care of the kids, taking care of the house, taking care of our spouses and yes, taking care of ourselves too. Not very often can you manage a day like that, a day where you can make everyone happy, including yourself.

Realistically in our society, I don't think you can have a day like that every day. I strive for one or two balanced days per week. The rest of the time, I try to go with the flow, be accepting of change or let the day lead me rather than me lead the day.

One day last week though I had a very balanced, wonderful day. I had plans with a friend but they weren't until later in the afternoon. I woke up early and didn't feel like exercising right away. So I made myself a cup of hot tea and decided to read a book instead. First, I threw in a load of laundry into the wash. (That's my quick-fix to feeling productive - just do at least one load of laundry per day!) I managed a few minutes of quiet reading before the diva woke up. Then I made Viv breakfast and instructed her to play in her room so mommy could enjoy reading a little longer. Thankfully she did. Soon 40 minutes turned into almost two hours of Vivian using her own imagination and me getting absorbed into the characters of a Neil Simon play.

A little while later, my friend called me and canceled. Her kids were still sick and not up to visitors. No problem, I thought. I wasn't real disappointed since I was enjoying a peaceful morning to myself. I felt educated and inspired from reading my book.

Next I wanted to feel better about my body physically. So I dusted off the "30-day shred" DVD and popped it into the player. Vivian joined me for half of the workout making me laugh or driving me nuts with her endless questions about each step we were performing. I felt better when it was over and done with though.

Then I glanced all over the house - a complete wreck! While I was absorbed into my early morning reading, Vivian had dragged out every stuffed animal, every blanket and every toy from her room. The living room looked like someone had vomitted toys all over it. That's okay though. Because even though things were a mess, we could clean them up in a reasonable time. Perhaps we could make a game out of it. The mess was still worth the time to myself. I could compromise on that!

After cleaning up, we played outside in the beautiful weather. Nothing special. Just running around in the backyard, playing catch, kicking a ball, swinging and blowing bubbles. Although it's not much to me, to my three year old, this is heaven. So I was glad that the morning was about me and then the afternoon could be about making my daughter happy. We enjoyed a picnic lunch, watched one of her favorite TV programs and then read stories before her naptime.

Not long after naptime started, my husband arrived early from work. A rare, nice occasion! One that we both enjoy, especially when our daughter is still napping and we can enjoy some intimate time alone. (Cue music to "Afternoon Delight.") We even had time to cuddle and watch a little adult television before the diva woke up.

After Viv arose from slumber, we had dinner together: pizza (with red wine for Kirk and me). As Kirk cleared away the dishes, I folded the laundry I had put in the dryer that morning. Then we watched a movie as a family - one of my favorite things to do and a great way to unwind from the day.

We tucked our beautiful girl into bed. I gave the dog a few belly rubs. Then Kirk and I enjoyed more quiet time together. It had been a great day. A day of balanced energy and time for those I love most - myself, my daughter, my husband and our family. I was diligent about giving each person what they needed, including myself. Then I was even productive around the house too. What more could I want?

Not every day is like this. We're lucky to enjoy one day out of the week like this. But when we do, it's precious and special. I want to remember it so that's why I wrote about it here. After a day like that, I strive to have more of them in my life.

I hope you have luck finding the balance in your day, your week, your month and your year! Keep working toward it!

Wha Cha Doing? Where you going? What comes next?

2011-01-27T00:08:00.006-06:00

"Wha Cha Doing?" I hear this phrase by my three year old girl ALL DAY LONG every day now. It's either that or she asks me, "Where you going?" Or "What comes next, mommy?"

So in honor of my ever-inquisitive daughter Vivian, I will answer her questions and hopefully offer some updates and insights into our recent life happenings and daily routine. Here goes:

Wha Cha Doing?
What am I doing? Lots of things and a lot of nothing too. Let's see. I'll mention the daily, basic parts of my week.... Yesterday I sat for three hours in a coffee shop trading stories, laughter and insight with a friend. I later watched a movie and lounged on the couch. It was great!

Today I delivered food to a family in need (husband lost a job) and a sick friend. I've been sharing a lot of my food and baked goods with people lately. Call me the local "meals on wheels" or my big, fat Greek lady trying to feed away everyone's problems. I also visited the library, pet store, park and office supply place. Then I came home to do some volunteer work for my moms group that I'm involved in. Later I managed to cook bacon-cheddar meatballs, balsamic green beans, a party pretzel mix and peanut butter chocolate rice-krispie balls. Oh yeah, I was on a roll today!

Recently I had a friend visit from Pennsylvania. It was a special visit though because we had never actually met in real life before. You may recall I wrote a post about my special on-line friends - a group of women I met from a baby board I found months after giving birth to Vivian. Well I've been writing and talking with these women for three years now. One of them - Jess - planned a trip to visit me over a month ago and we finally made it happen last weekend!

My virtual turned reality friend Jess (on the left) is pictured here with me (right). Here we stand in front of the Pensacola Pelican mascot before our trolley ride on Jan. 22, 2011.

Jess is as wonderful in real life as she is on the computer screen and on the telephone. This was an example of virtual to reality gone right! I was so honored and humbled how she reached out to me and that she chose to be my friend! I love you dearly Jess! And yes, my husband does think you are a smart girl! :-)

Other things I've been doing lately includes just relishing in the small moments. Today I caught myself singing in the car and Vivian was happily dancing along in the backseat. We were both happy - visibly, noticeably happy and I took a minute to rejoice in that.  Just a few seconds later I noticed a homeless man on the corner standing there with his three-legged dog. He looked in need of a shave and a hot shower. I want that surreal, sad image to stay in my head. I want that memory to remind me not sweat the small stuff that comes up in my day. Because my life is really amazing and I should realize that and be grateful for it more and more.

I'm doing research for my next writing project. I checked out several books at the library in hopes to jumpstart the ideas brewing around in my head for the past week. I'm excited at the possibilties and at the chance to put pen to paper again soon, on something different than my food blog and cookbook.   I'm also encouraging my friend Jen to work on her book ideas. She has terrrific insight and a great product so I'll do what I can to push her to finish her goals. Another friend, my blogging buddy Kelly asked me to join her online facebook writers group for inspiration as well. I happily accepted her invitation. And I feel lucky to have so many creative people surrounding me, even if some of them are only online.

Where you going?
Usually when Viv asks me this question, I'm typically just taking a few steps out of the room or walking into the bathroom. I pee more times a day than any other non-elderly, non-pregnant person I know.   Lately the Diva and I have had a good balance of going, going, going and then having a day of just being vegetables. Monday was our lie around and be lazy day.  But today we went to seven different places. Yes, you heard me right - SEVEN.   I mentioned several of the locations already - park, library, office supply store, etc.  Okay, okay so some of them were within the same parking lot/vicinity and others were quick drive-bys. But we visited seven various spots today and stayed very active. Some days I like being on the go that much and other days, I take joy in never even opening a window or door to my house.

I keep a calendar on my desk of events and local happenings; therefore I generally know where I'll be (or where I'd like to be) in the coming weeks.  For example.... On Monday, I'll be at a coffee shop with friends. Next Friday I'm hoping to visit a local train museum with Vivian. After that, it's a Valentine's party and card exchange with my moms club. Shortly after that it will probably be a visit to see family in New Orleans again.

What I'm most excited about though is a possible upcoming trip to San Diego, California. My husband needs to do work there sometime this spring. I'm hoping to tag along for a mini-vacation. Not only will it be a chance to see a beautiful, new city I've not had the pleasure of touring yet but it will also be an opportunity to meet another one of my virtual friends. My best bud Carrie lives within two hours of San Diego and I really want to see her and thank her for the gifts of friendship, hope and kindness she's shown me for the past several years! I'm considering leaving Vivian behind with my parents or with Kirk's mom while I'm gone. That's huge for me. I've never left her for more than one night. But I think I'm ready to let her be independent and be spoiled by the grandparents. And me with some time on my own and some time alone with my husband. So we'll see. I'm giddy just thinking of it all and hope it can come together like I want it to.

Other trip possiblities may include a visit to Virginia and some day trips around Florida and Alabama. My friend Jen is trying to convince me to go camping at one of the local state parks. I've never been camping before. Or at least not within the last twenty years so it doesn't really count if I can't remember my excursion at age ten.

What comes next?
Aaaahhh my sweet young child, that is the question! What comes next?  For my three year old, she wants to know what stuffed animal to play with or what color crayon she should use.

I try to think on those simple terms but often my mind drifts to the bigger picture....
What is in store for us all?
What deeper meaning does my life hold?
Will my family be healthy in 2011?
Will this lucky, happy streak of mine last?
Will I be able to accomplish this next writing project?
Will I continue to not let the little things in life bother me when I have so much to be thankful for?
Will my well-behaved child who's eating dinner every night now go back to that tantrum-horrific kid who has hunger strikes?
Will I ever clear off that messy space on my dresser so I can dust it?
Will Vivian ever stop laughing every single time she farts? Will Kirk?
Will my heart and mind continue to grow by leaps and bounds as I feel it's done in these last few years?

Who knows? I don't. But I can't wait to see. I can't wait to find out the answers or perhaps just add more questions to the mix.

Stay tuned!

So Far, So Good - Local Life Through Pictures

2011-01-18T21:05:00.005-06:00

In keeping with that new and improved attitude I spoke about in my last post, I am still singing and cheering life's praises. Things have been good, great in fact. I can't really complain! And how many people can say that?

I've been keeping busy. I have cooked and baked a ton lately. We had a visitor in town for five days and now I'm having another one come over this weekend. When you have friends over, that's always a bonus in life!

What else? We've been visiting parks, going on shopping excursions and planning each day's activities after we wake up and see how we feel. Then as I was having fun and not really thinking much about writing, my next project came to me. I need to think some more about it but I'm pretty excited at the possibilities. The only hint I will give is that Neil Simon is my inspiration and I will be re-reading his works in the coming weeks. My idea is totally different than anything I've ever done before (but so was my cookbook and that turned out well)!

So yeah, not trying to brag but.....Things have been wonderful.

Don't just take my word for it though. See for yourself.

Here is my life these days - captured in pictures:

1) I've been snuggling up with this sexy guy, my husband Kirk.

Kirk took a long weekend off from work so we had the opportunity to have a lot of family time together which was really nice.

2) Vivian and I have been having indoor slumber parties and picnics on the cold and rainy days.

I love how my girl is a nurturing type already. She is kind enough to share with all her animals. :-)

And she covers up her "kids" to keep them warm.

3) We've been accessorizing and playing dress-up!

Arrghhh! I'm a pirate.

I'm a ski-bunny. But instead of hitting the slopes, I will be on the runway strutting my stuff.

Or I'm a rock star just waiting to have some chocolate fudge.

4) We've been indulging in beverages where salt goes around the rim! ;-P

5) I've been making some wonderful and very tasty foods, like this muffuletta pizza:

Oh, trust me.... it tastes even better than it looks!

6) We've been enjoying the great outdoors on any day where it's 40 degrees or above, like our recent trip to a local bird park:

The diva gets up close and personal with some memorable birds.

And
7) We've just been playing, sliding, falling down, getting up, telling jokes, smilling and laughing a whole lot lately!

Vivian having a blast at an outdoor jungle gym on the beach in Pensacola.

Also, I've started reading a new book, "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. I've only read one chapter so far but I'm enjoying it. It's right up my alley when it comes to being more appreciative, more grateful and more practical about living a joyful life. I know that things can continue on this great path if I keep my mind and my attitude focused on it.

I can't wait to see what wonderful things will happen next!

Name something good that is happening in your life right now. What's the last great moment you experienced, the last great meal you ate or the last great thought that entered your mind?

Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh....I Got A New Attitude

2011-01-12T07:24:00.008-06:00

For some reason the lyrics to this Patti Labelle song has been stuck in my head....

"I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes
Know where I'm goin' and I know what to do
I tidied up my point of view
I got a new attitude"

I love Patti's line about tidying up her attitude. I've been doing that with my own mind lately.   Even with the small success of my cookbook and the attention of my other blog, I was beginning to get down on myself.... experiencing that low after you have a great big high in your life. I found myself getting snippy and snappy and more judgmental toward others. Frankly, I didn't like it! So I adjusted my attitude for the better.

I was telling my good friend Jen yesterday how I have to work at being positive sometimes. It's just in my family blood to think more on the negative side, to be prepared for the worst scenario. But I'm really trying to change that. I am working diligently at being more thankful and more grateful in my life. For the past week, it's been working too!

Several of my friends have asked me recently, "You haven't been writing on your blog lately. What's up?" I didn't have an answer for them. And for the first time in a long time, I really didn't care that I have been absent here.

Don't get me wrong, I love this blog. I love reading other blogs and hearing from readers and commenters.   But well.... instead of writing about my life, I've been living my life and relishing in the moment these days! And it's been great!

In fact, I've been consistently happy and worry-free for almost a week..... A WHOLE WEEK now..... who knew it was possible! I haven't even read any self-help books or seen a therapist either.

No, I have just spent a lot of good, quality time with my daughter. I've been talking to friends or meeting up with friends almost every day. I've been hugging my husband more.   I've been petting my dog more. I've just been looking at my situation and my surroundings and thinking to myself..... wow, I have it pretty good! I should be grateful! I am grateful!

I mean gosh, why do we shy away from celebrations and good news? Why do we let others' happiness make us feel less inadequate about ourselves? I am guilty of it. I hear someone's good story and think for an instant.... "That b*#%&!" Why does she live this charmed life and get what she wants?!" Then I catch myself in the mirror and think.... "Geez Mandy, why don't you just be happy for her or him!" So that has been my mindset lately.... be happy for myself and be happy for others!

And just to remind myself of the charmed life that I lead, I'm going to create a short list of things that I have to be happy about right now!

(1) I was a cover girl for a day. How many people can say that? My face was on the cover of a newspaper and I had a whole feature written about my cookbook and me. That's pretty frickin' cool! I am honored and humbled by it and glad that I can share this with my family. Big thanks to my parents who wrote to the Pensacola Editor to make the story happen! So instead of worrying about what book or what thing I will write next (because right now, I don't have a clue??), I'm just going to enjoy and accept what I have already done and not worry so much.   The future project or concept will come to me when it's ready to reveal itself.   Until then, hey I was a cover girl. So there!

(2) I have an amazing kid. And lately, she's been well-behaved, eating her dinner every night and cracking me up with her comedy routine. We had a rough few weeks with her meltdowns and hunger strikes! I had to really toughen up and be a mean mama giving her zero chances, throwing water in her face and more! And well, she straightened up, for now anyway! For the past week, she's been a perfectly pleasant kid. No time-outs, no real whining. Just a joy to be around. She's even been sleeping in, past 7am nearly every morning!   It's a rare, heavenly thing so I just want to be thankful and appreciative of her these days. Last week we spent an entire day together just watching movies and playing in her room. She was attentive and affectionate and just beaming all day long to have her happy mom all to herself. So I'm working harder to pay attention to her needs, to give in to some of her wants when they are justified and easy to do and simply adore her for the wonderful being she is becoming. After all, I really love this kid of mine:

Confession: For awhile, I was really focused on having another child. I was starting to become obsessed and consumed by it. I really wanted to give Vivian a younger sibling. I was stressing myself over it and getting upset when seven months had gone by without anything happening.... I was crying and beating myself over it, etc, etc,..... WELL, I've decided to stop that way of thinking! I mean honestly.... it's only been seven months. It takes some people YEARS to conceive. Some women NEVER have a child. I was just lucky with Vivian - she came along on the second try. So I put things into better perspective. From now on, I'm just going to be grateful for the ONE child I have.... and if another one comes along, great! Fine! If not, I'll be okay with that too. I really will be. I'm tired of thinking about what I do NOT have. Instead, I want to do a better job being a great mom and appreciating the one kid that I do have! So far, things are going well in that department!

(3) I am hitting a good stride even though I don't know what is coming next?! I haven't decided what my next "project" or "goal" will be. But for once, I'm not worried over it. I know it will just hit me like a ton of bricks when the time is right. And do I always need a challenge anyway? Perhaps my challenge should be just to live the day to day and enjoy myself more?   I'm becoming more settled but is that really a bad thing? I don't think so! I'm spending more time with my family and friends in the community and it feels great! I'm trying to encourage and give back to others when I can. At the very least, I try to share my baked goodies and make someone else laugh on a weekly basis. I've got a friend coming to visit me soon, a trip that I'm very excited about. There is just so much GOOD in this world even despite all the BAD you hear about! And that's what I'm focusing on.... that's where my head is these days! And it feels wonderful and like it should be!

I hope you are hitting a good stride as well and that your attitude is a decision that you make each day.... because it really is when you stop and think about it!

Have a great day! Have a positive attitude! And just be thankful for the things going right in your life right now!

Cheers!

My Husband's Secret Addiction

2011-01-05T00:54:00.002-06:00

The time has come for me to reveal that my husband Kirk has a secret addiction. I've been holding in this shame and this pain for quite some time now.

This addiction has been going on for over three years now but the problem has escalated when I became pregnant in 2007. I thought the issue would go away but it hasn't. I'm not sure who to contact for help with this addiction.

Like any compulsive habit, it began slow. I know he receives that feel good "buzz" when he is performing this act. I have watched him experience that winner's high when he is in the moment of the compulsion. Sure an immediate gratification can feel nice but the long-term effects just aren't worth the trouble. Not for me. Not anymore!

I just need to put a stop to it, once and for all. I just pray that he will listen to his loving, caring wife and stop all this foolishness. I cannot handle this obsession of his from this point forward!

That's right, folks. My husband is addicted to claw machines....

You know, the machines that cost fifty cents to a dollar. You then use some germ-infested joy stick to unleash a claw that may or may not give you some random, hideous stuffed animal from inside. I call them the "Misfit Toys," or the reject disfigures made in Korea - the animals that NO ONE, I mean NO ONE would ever put up on a shelf and proudly display.

My husband is obsessed with these contraptions though. He will waste five dollars trying to win one animal for our three year old girl. Five dollars!!!

And that five bucks wins me what? Some hideous creature that looks like this:

Yes, this is an actual doll that my husband purposely won and paid for from a claw machine. You see my problem now, don't you?

I don't know about you but this particular animal (pictured above) scares me AND reminds me of a Chucky doll. You remember Chucky, right? The killer doll from the cheezy 80's and 90's movies called "Child's Play"!?

It's just creepy and a bit demonic looking. I am going to throw it away before it becomes alive and tries to kill me.

Every now and then my husband does manage to win a decent looking doll. One time he clawed his way to a Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz or most recently, Yogi Bear minus the picnic basket.

But enough is enough! We have stuffed animals practically shedding from our house walls. There are just too many of them and no place to put them. I'm tired of stepping all over them and finding my dog's drool on their distorted, cross-eyed faces!

Now Vivian is getting in on the action. You can already see her eyes start to glaze over when she spots one of these machines at a restaurant or inside the toy store. I'm losing her to this addiction too.

What is it going to take for me to win this fight? Will I have to place a square over my head and begin charging money for my husband to claw at me? Hmmm, actually that might not be a bad idea.... a fun little, sexy game we can play after Vivian is asleep at night...... and I could actually use a few extra dollars too..... oh yes, that could work.....

Oh well, nevermind. I guess it's not that bad of an addiction after all. I suppose it could be worse.

But please, oh please Kirk! No more misfit, frightening looking toys! I just can't take any more hairy figures or beady eyes staring at me throughout the house.

Okay, Thank you!

Moms Don't Get A Sick Day!

2010-12-30T10:49:00.003-06:00

My only wish for 2011 is to not be as sick as I was in 2010. My hope is that my entire family will not suffer through as many colds, viruses, sinus infections, ear infections, vomitting, diarrhea, trips to the ER and urgent care as we've all had for the past 364+ days. But well, I suppose that's a pointless wish because it's unlikely to come true.

I had hoped to write a Christmas recap and to share some great photos from our holidays by now. But frankly I don't have the energy! We've all had a very bad cold (possibly the flu) since the day after Christmas. Kirk, Vivian and I have all been dealing with chills, fever, snotty noses, coughs and more! It has been miserable!

One thing that you don't realize (or I didn't, anyway) as you enter parenthood is that you NEVER get a sick day again! Ever!

You don't want your child or children to be sick but it's even worse if you feel awful as well. Because when moms feel crappy, they still must keep going!

Even though I have 100 degree fever and diarrhea and feel as if I've been run over by a truck, I still somehow have to manage the following:

wiping the butt of my three year old multiple times per day
doing some laundry once I realize I'm all out of towels
giving myself and my child a bath because I've been sweating out fevers and also have a little bit of puke in my hair
placing the dog outside to pee and poo at least three times a day
intaking liquids so that means mustering up all the strength I have just to open up that bottle of Gator-ade
brushing my teeth because my mouth is a disgusting cess pool of germs
washing the sheets because the sweat stains on them just don't make sleeping comfortable anymore
forcing ourselves to eat a few bites of something every few hours, even though we have no appetite and no taste buds either
walking around the house searching for tissue, because we keep moving it to wherever we change lounging around positions
and finally, hoping that my eyes don't cross and my brain doesn't rot from doing nothing but watching endless hours of television and movies since I have the strength for nothing else!

Kudos to all you parents out there who never get a sick day! Special awards go to those of you with several kids. I know a few of you have four kids and more. I don't know how you do it! I wish I could give you a sick day off!

So, Happy New Year! Let's Hope It's Mucus Free!

Hopefully when I return, I'll be healthier and more creative with thoughts.

If The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future Were To Visit Me....

2010-12-22T15:15:00.004-06:00

Various film versions of the Charles Dickens' classic tale "A Christmas Carol" are being flashed all over the screen these days. Most recently there has been a Jim Carrey cartoon version of the story. I own the Muppets take on it and watched it with Vivian and Kirk a week ago.  You gotta love Gonzo as Dickens and Rizzo the Rat as his sidekick. One of my personal favorites though is "Scrooged" - the one with comedian/actor Bill Murray in it.   The list goes on and on.

I was thinking yesterday about the notion of ghosts visiting me: the ghost of my Christmas past, the ghost of my Christmas present and the ghost of my Christmas future. What would these unexpected guests show me? What would I learn from them? Let's pretend for a moment, shall we?

The Ghost of Mandy's Christmas Past
The past would begin with me at age five. I would look like this:

(Are you loving the puffy sleeves or what?)

I am receiving a new bicycle for Christmas. A beautiful shiny bike that will take me quite a long time to ride and cause myself and my parents many hours of frustration.

Two years later I receive a bloody nose at my second grade holiday party. I had on this little white dress with a green Christmas tree on it. Only the dress didn't stay white for long.... the blood from my nose would soon be splattered all over it. I would end up in tears being hugged my Mrs. LeBlanc, my second grade teacher. This was just the beginning of my bloody nose phase.

At ages 7 - 12, my mom was always fussing my brother Stuart and me, telling us to be thankful and grateful for any and all Christmas gifts we receive, even socks and clothing. "That's just what I always wanted!" she'd force us to say to each aunt, uncle and cousin who offered us a present.

I think back to all the must-have gifts each season: Cabbage patch dolls. The insane prices and fighting crowds over those hideously ugly dolls that came from a vegetable garden! The pound puppies, the Barbie dolls, the pogo sticks and more! I was one lucky kid and never felt abandoned or unloved on the holidays.

I remember Maw Maw Ethel's house, a tiny home that would pack in way more people than a fire marshall would allow. So many folks that when one person left their seat to go to the bathroom, someone else would quickly grab it. Otherwise you were stuck sitting on the floor. I recall Great Maw-Maw Louise turning red and getting tispy because my dad and my uncles spiked her egg nog and holiday punch. This house had the best spread of desserts anywhere -- from rum balls to chocolate cake to turtle candies to homemade fudge and pralines.

I recall the holidays on the Kelpsch side of the family where each year we gained a new family member or grand kid or great grand kid. Soon we couldn't even remember some of the names of the attendees. I loved how everyone pitched in pot luck style. From chicken wings to macaroni and cheese.... from gumbo to Mexican doritos casserole. We had a little bit of everything and it was all good stuff!

I laugh remembering the first Christmas (in 2001) when I brought Kirk along to meet my family. We were not even engaged yet. My brother and he kept drinking wine for several hours. Soon Kirk was feeling dizzy and I had to drive us home that night.

I hold my stomach as I recall my first Christmas in Ohio, in 2005, the very first holiday without my family. I was living 8,000 miles away from every tradition I had known. I became violently sick, caught a stomach virus and spent the entire day sleeping on the couch or vomitting in the bathroom. In between puking though I did manage to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" for the first time ever. Kirk took care of me and held my hair back too.

I think back fondly to the first Christmas after Vivian was just born, in 2007. She was just two months old and the holiday took on a much greater meaning with her in our family. Beautiful tiny Vivian and her strong hands and the beginnings of a smile!

These are just a few of my Christmas pasts. And I'm so happy that they are part of my life, even the not so great ones! My memories are part of my personality and values.

The Ghost of Mandy's Christmas Present:
The present would include many pleasant surprises. I want to pinch myself most days to make sure I'm not dreaming.

This year has brought me many joys and reasons to celebrate. I'm happy to be a current stay-at-home mom, spending time with this diva daughter of mine every day:

Together we explore our community of Pensacola, Florida. We have great friends in our lives. This year, my parents will be visiting us for the holidays. We have a trolley ride with Santa and his elves planned in two days. We're also going to order out dinner - a holiday ham and sides from a local restaurant. It should be stress-free and full of fun!

Vivian is now three years old and she is so much fun to be around. It will be a great time seeing her open presents and witnessing her reactions to the things we have for her - a bicycle, a train set and much more!   She's so expressive and delighted to see things like the holiday decorations, tree and lights. What fun it is to see Christmas through a child's eyes like hers!

Kirk already received his main present, a new flat-screen TV for our living room. He's very happy with that. I have two more small stocking stuffer surprises for him though. For my Christmas, I received most of what I wanted already - new kitchen gadgets, clothes and a few odds and ends.

Best of all, I surprised myself this year with a book that I wrote and self published. I completed a lifelong dream of mine. The book is now being distributed to family, friends and referrals.   Next week I'm receiving my own feature in a local newspaper. I even had my first photo shoot yesterday. I couldn't be more thrilled!

I plan to relish in this special holiday season. To relax, be merry, drink and just enjoy this precious time while it is happening! I have much to be cheerful about and to be thankful for!

The Ghost of Mandy's Christmas Future:
This is the tricky one! I have no clue what the future holds for me.  The unknown is often a scary thing too.

Will I turn into the cranky, ungrateful old lady Maxine whose every word creates a negative feeling:

That is a possibility since both of my grandmothers often don't view life on the bright side.

Or will I be happy - dancing, having fun and throwing myself a parade like only Liza Minnelli could do?

I hope I will be the perfect balance of them both. I'll have Maxine's spunk and sarcasm along with Liza's booty-shakin' skillz and optimism. After all, she's not given up on love yet.

I dream that my future will include hopefully another book or literary project of mine.   I'm not quite sure exactly what I want to do next.... But I think it will just come to me, when the time is right.

I hope that my future includes a younger sibling for Vivian. It's funny how unsure I was about her for the first year (even two years). It took awhile before I really liked her as much as I knew I loved her. Now, I just can't picture my life without her and I dream of giving her the opportunity to be a big sister. Time will tell what happens in that department though.

I want the Christmas future to include more growth opportunities and success for Kirk at his job. But hopefully less demands and stress on him too.   He's so talented and wonderful. I know he can do anything!

I really hope the future will include more family fun, vacations, and laughter. More anniversary outings and couple's dates would be nice too. Kirk and I hardly get the chance to see movies or eat out alone.

I hope that at a Christmas in the near future, I will be reunited with Maw-Maw Ethel and the Babins' again. And I hope to have another potluck holiday function with the Kelpsch family too. It has been five years since I have celebrated a Christmas with everyone in the extended family! It would be great to see them all in one room again.

Hopefully the Christmases of my future will be joyful, merry and celebrated with those people that I love and cherish most!  Because that is what life is all about!

What would your Christmas past, present and future look like? Share a memory or a wish in the comments section. Or better yet, play along by posting this game on your blog between now and the New Year!

Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope it's a great one for you!

Lots of love and Seasons Greetings!

Excited, Nervous And Happy These Days!

2010-12-15T21:00:00.005-06:00

So many wonderful things are happening lately. I'm a bit afraid to talk about them here, scared that I may somehow jinx them from coming true.

Yet it's hard to contain my excitement and nervousness too. I've been interviewed by a local news publication about my cookbook. Their publisher also wants to do a photo shoot with me, possibly next week. I'm thrilled and terrified! I just know I'll wake up with a pimple on that morning of having my closeup. Or I'll run right smack into the wall and bruise my nose again, just like I did last week when I stood up from peeing on my toilet. (Um, yeah, wish I was making that up but I'm not!!)

Hahaha! I can't believe that I'm even news-worthy. Me? Mandy? Just plain Mandy.  It must be a slow week in the news or something. But I'll take the opportunity to share my story and my book with others!

I've already had the honor of being featured in my Louisiana hometown's newspaper a few weeks ago. That was thanks to my dad writing a letter to the editor about me reaching a lifelong dream of mine. Since that publicity, my parents have written to every food network and talk show host that they can find!! My mom is standing up in church and in shopping malls practically giving speeches about me and holding up my cookbook. It's amazing and humbling.   I just can't express how grateful I am to have parents who are so supportive, so loving and so proud of my achievements!

The funny thing is that I was just sitting down yesterday in a bagel shop wondering about my future. I overheard a conversation two tables over from mine. A sales rep, one that I presume works for a local radio station, was pitching broadcast advertisting ideas to the bakery's manager or owner. As I listened to the lady's perfectly rehearsed speech, I wondered if I could ever give a sales pitch like that? I wondered if I could sell myself and a product or company in the same poised, confident manner that this smiling woman nearby did.....

Then a few hours later, a reporter called me at home. She began asking me questions about my cookbook, what made me write it and how I went from using packaged foods to cooking from scratch. Suddenly I was spewing out words and babbling non-stop about my writings and misadventures in the kitchen. LOL! I guess I can give a sales pitch, at least one about myself and a product that I care about (my book).

Even though I'm not sure what is next for me....even though I'm not exactly doing what I thought I would be at this stage in the game (and at my age), I keep thinking about the song lyrics by music artist John Mayer. I've been listening to his "Continum" CD all week long. I've hitten the repeat button on this tune a dozen times:

"Pain throws your heart to the groundLove turns the whole thing aroundNo, it won't all go the way it shouldBut I know the heart of life is good"

Those words keep echoing over and over again in my head. I know the heart of life is good. I've had struggles, disappointments and failures in the past. But my life is good. And I know that the heart of my life has always been a wonderful thing for me.

Therefore my only resolution for 2011 is to remember those words.  And to keep living that sentiment each day!

Cheers!

Little Glimpses

2010-12-10T15:49:00.002-06:00

Call me the absent-minded blogger. I have not made the time or the effort to write (or read) a real blog post or update in days. The holidays are such a hectic time. I cannot seem to focus on my writing but maybe that is because my head is still buzzing around with lingering thoughts on my cookbook. Then I'm wondering what new project I should take on next as well. But these are all good problems to have.

Still there have been a few things worth mentioning - little glimpses of life that I do want to remember in the future. And that is my main reason for this blog - to be my memory when I seem to forget. Here is what comes to my mind (before the experiences and thoughts leave my brain, that is):

1.)  I only enjoy shopping in a mall or outlet type store a few times a year. Even when I am by myself without a tantrum-driven toddler. I don't remember when aimlessly walking into shops lost its luster for me but it has. However I will admit that I when I bought three pairs of blue jeans recently, I didn't cringe like I normally do. I knew my size (6) and I was fine with it for the first time in a very long time.

2.) I've been going out for coffee two times per week lately. Something about the colder weather and all the festive holiday flavors has me craving Starbucks, Panera Bread or whatever java shop comes across my path. I know I could try to make them at home but where's the fun in that? Plus the smells are much more inviting at those places!

3.) Our family took a weekend trip recently to attend Kirk's grandmother's 82nd birthday. Kirk's mom is one of fourteen brothers and sisters. She has a HUGE family. It is a lot of fun being around them and watching them interact. I wonder what it was like growing up with that much entertainment and noise.

4.) I'm a little bit embarassed to say that I have read and liked "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer. A friend mailed me her copy and the second book (sequel) in the series too. She really wanted me to read it even though I wasn't very interested in the story. I even hid my copy in a plastic bag and tried to conceal it in the coffee shop where I sat reading it, wanting to finish the chapter I had started. I don't normally read love stories or literature about vampires, zombies, scary people, etc. So far, I have not seen the films. I don't really have a desire to view them either. I am enjoying Meyer's writing and details though.

5.) My parents have been the most amazing and surprising Marketing Managers of the cookbook I wrote. My father has written to every newspaper where I have lived (or live now) to tell them about my story and the work I've written. My mother is calling my former elementery teachers and even standing up and making speeches about me at her retirement teachers' events. I'm so humbled, honored and proud to have such adoring fans!

6.) Vivian experienced her first hibachi at a Japanese restaurant this week. She was both frightened and intrigued at the chef preparing food at our table. Viv continued to ask, "Who's that man? What's his name?" And after I would say his name, she'd wave at him and say "Hey Man!" I think she had a fun time even though she'd only eat her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and kernels of popcorn. No worries though because I ate enough for the both of us. That shrimp and steak was so delicious!

7.) I've been listening to music artist John Mayer all week. I find his voice and his songs very comforting. I bought his album "Continum" several days ago. I don't buy CD's very often but I bought three the other day - his, the Nat King Cole Christmas album and a classic Frank Sinatra one too. I must be in an easy-listening kind of mood.

8.) I had my hair darkened last week to cover my grays! It was long over due. I don't go to a salon very often but when I do, I simply love the pampering that takes place. When someone is shampooing your hair and running their fingers through your scalp, that is just pure heaven! I went about two shades darker. It is always a bit of a shock when I do something like this. My face becomes even paler but then I love it. I really do enjoy being a brunette. I feel like it's just who I am.

9.) I have become an expert butt wiper. I make going to the potty so much fun that now I have the privilege of using toiletries on most of Vivian's stuffed animals.  We take turns doing the sound effects and cheering for each one after they make pee-pee or poo-poo. After Viv goes number 2, I pick her up and treat her like an airplane. While I'm holding in my breath, trying not to become too close to the stinch, she's laughing and pretending that she's gliding in the air. These are things that are not discussed when you take birthing classes by the way!

10.) I'm becoming this strange, domestic woman. I hardly recognize myself some days. Especially when just over a year ago I was working 50+ hours per week and traveling several times a year for my job. It's crazy to see myself as this stay at home mom and wife! But I'm falling into my role a little more easily and comfortably now. I cook and I like it. This morning I even cleaned and almost enjoyed it. That was because I decided to make my own carpet freshener (using 1 cup of baking soda and 1/2 tsp of peppermint extract -- now my whole home smells fresh and minty, a lot like Christmas!) I suppose the secret (for me) is to put my own creative stamp on whatever I'm doing.  If I can tweak a recipe, a job, a chore, a relationship or a part of life with my own tiny flair, then I feel productive and meaningful.

And as long as I'm bringing some special meaning to my day or to my family, then life is so much sweeter! I can rejoice in it.

Now it's your turn - leave me a comment that shares a small glimpse into your life these days! What have you been up to or thinking about?

The Negotiator

2010-12-07T17:27:00.002-06:00

No one told me that you needed lawyer skills in order to be a parent?! Why is it that kids, even toddlers, just know how to manipulate and negotiate at such a young age?

Example:

(Scenario: We are leaving the house to go to a store. This is always a challenge to get out of the door without my three year old wanting to take half the toys she owns.)
Vivian: "Elmo and Abby can come to the car too!" (which is her way of saying she wants to drag two stuffed animals into the car)

Me: "No, we're not bringing animals into the car. We are going to ____ today."

Vivian: "Have one, mommy" flashing me a big smile. (which is her way of asking to bring one animal instead of two.)

Me: "No sweetie, no animals. We're just taking a short ride."

Vivian: "Hug, mommy! Give me a hug!" and she flashes a huge smile at me and embraces me.

Me thinking to myself: I will not fold. I will not fold. Okay, maybe she can bring just one animal.....

Vivian thinking to herself: I've got mommy right where I want her....

And guess what? Elmo did come into the car with us.

This is just one tiny example of her amazing skills too. The same thing happens at dinnertime, bedtime, when she wants to watch a television program or movie, play a game or whatever.

Dinnertime is usually when I get the most hugs during the day. It goes something like this.

Another Example:

(Scenario: Dinner time. All three of us are sitting at a table. Only Kirk and I are eating though.)

Me: "Vivian, take a bite."

Vivian: "Hug mommy!"

Me: "After you eat!"

Vivian: "Kiss mommy!"

Me: "I'll hug and kiss you all you want after you take a bite."

Vivian takes a tiny bite of food but purposely spills most of it. Then the conversation repeats.

Sigh!

I never dreamed I'd be such a softie and cave in as much as I do. I can be the tough, mean mom when I need to be. But on a day to day basis, I just do what it takes to keep things peaceful and light. I'll probably pay for it later on when the "diva" is in full swing.

How do you say no and stay tough all the time when you stare at a face that looks like this every day? Could you do it?

If you are a parent, how do you stay tough and when do you cave in? If you're not a parent, do you think it would be difficult to be the "tough, mean" one?

Giveaway: My Cookbook!

2010-12-02T09:59:00.000-06:00

Hooray! Are you feeling lucky?

I'm giving away a FREE copy of my cookbook that I wrote. The details for it and how you can enter to win are posted on my other blog -- http://learn-laugh-cook.blogspot.com/

Go here for your chance to win! Good luck!

And a Happy Early Holidays from me!

Write What You Know - Is That The Answer For Me?

2010-11-29T20:20:00.006-06:00

When I tell people I've written a book and reveal it is a cookbook, I get the same reaction every time: "You wrote a cookbook? Wow! Really? You?" Insert pause and disbelief followed by awkward silence and then another "Wow!"

Um yeah, I did. Surprise! I guess no one has ever viewed me as Martha Stewart in the kitchen. Or Julia Child. Or Paula Deen. Or even little Suzy homemaker.

But hey - that's okay! I'm fine with the stares and distorted faces.   I like suprising people. Hell, I love surprising myself. Do you think I ever imagined I would write a cookbook? NO! Not in my wildest dreams. But that is what I did.

I've been thinking it over for the past two weeks.... perhaps my problem with writing or writer's block for all these years (besides being lazy and unmotivated) is that I'm best at writing what I know. I seem to thrive when I can "talk" about what I'm doing, what I'm learning or what I'm trying to achieve.

Maybe that's why I find blog writing so easily. Because I mostly share details about my life and my dreams. I can endlessly write about those things.   Sure I can whip out an occasional poem or one-liner. But for the most part, I can spend hours writing about what I'm doing or planning. If I'm writing something that I think may help or inspire others, then I'm more likely to complete the task.

So, am I having an epiphany? How is it that I wrote a book in two months about cooking but have been sitting on the same novel for a year now with no further developments? Why do I write down a title or idea for a fictional piece every few weeks but never take the time to dig into the plot? Maybe I'll surprise myself in the future but I no longer picture myself as a writer of fantasy, mystery or science fiction.

Perhaps I'm just a non-fiction writer. I love reading non-fiction and self-help books anyway. I like to tell stories but I want them to be true tales or just exaggerated truths.

What should I write about next? What can I talk about?

Recently I helped a friend find social groups and things to do in her new community. I spent about two hours researching activities in her area so she could make friends and find activities to do in her spare time. She was so appreciative. She sent me an email telling me I should start a side consulting business assisting newcomers after they move to a new place. I laughed at the thought then pondered it more seriously.   I am really resourceful when it comes to things like that. But would others really need that kind of service or pay money for it?

The idea for that appeals to me because it would be a way of helping people. I like writing something that I feel might help others. I suppose that is one reason creating a cookbook became so important to me. I saw a need for it. I needed it a year ago but couldn't find exactly what I wanted; therefore I wrote my own.

I'm not sure what is on the horizon for me. I only know that I'm excited about the possibilities and what I can accomplish next!

Me pictured in Monterey, California, in 2001 - a very high point in my life when I felt determined and ready to set the world on fire. That's how I feel these days only this is a better (skinnier) photo of me. LOL!

Our Quiet, Non-Traditional Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T08:45:00.002-06:00

Our family had one of the quietest and most boring Thanksgiving holidays ever. I'm not complaining though. It actually turned out nicely.

It was just the three of us - Kirk, Vivian and me. We had visitors (Kirk's father and stepmother) scheduled to come but they canceled on us a few days prior due to schoolwork and other personal happenings. No big deal since I hadn't cleaned my house yet and we were ordering out our turkey meal anyway. By the time our guests canceled their "reservations" at Casa de Fernandez, it was really too late for us to make other plans. Our moms, siblings and other relatives all had commitments and our friends were elsewhere.

So we just spent a quiet day at home. I cooked a beef and vegetable chili in my slow cooker for several hours. We skipped the turkey, stuffing and pies altogether. The chili was our Thanksgiving meal. We didn't watch football or the Macy's Day parade. Instead, we rented six movies - three kid-friendly films and three adult comedies. Our family and dog took a walk around the neigborhood in shorts. Why not? It was 80 degrees here in Florida, after all. (Maybe we should have gone to the beach?)

Kirk spotted a few online bargains. He purchased a new TV for our living room, a great big one - something he's been wanting for several years but always talked himself out of it until now. I also picked out a breadmaker and a new hand mixer. Not too exciting, I know, but my kitchen appliances are all ten years old so I'm slowly replacing them.

We were mostly lazy and did lots of lounging around. However, that was one of my favorite parts about the day. At one moment, all three of us were lying on the couch while watching the family film Over the Hedge. Vivian was lying on my chest and I was lying against Kirk. We were all embracing each other - a rare occurrence. It was a beautiful moment, one where I actually stopped and said to myself: Thank you for my wonderful family and for this love in my life!

So even though we were not with our parents, siblings or extended family members....even though we didn't have turkey, ham, cranberry sauce and all the fixin's for dinner....even though we were miles away from anyone we are close with..... we still had each other. My little family of three is all I need to give me joyous moments. I'm so thankful for Kirk and Vivian. And that is what Thanksgiving is all about (for me, at least).

You Can Now Purchase The Book I Wrote!

2010-11-23T17:11:00.002-06:00

It's arrived! The book I wrote is here!

Purchase Your Copy Here!

Today is definitely one of the top fives days of my entire life - up there with my wedding day and the birth of my daughter!!!

I wrote a book from start to finish. I completed a goal, a lifelong dream of mine!

It feels really great! I'm planning to go out and celebrate with my family tonight!

If you purchase a copy, please let me know! I'd like to send you a personal thank you note, along with a few bonus recipes and poems I wrote! Send me an email at learn.laugh.cook@gmail.com to let me know about the purchase.

Also, please become a fan of "Learn, Laugh, Cook" on facebook where I will lead discussions on cooking and share great recipes, my culinary disasters and other findings that are newsworthy!

Thanks! Let's toast to a successful book and to one girl reaching her dreams! :-)

I am definitely in the Thanksgiving spirit as I feel like I have so much to be thankful for! Everyone have a great week!

Getting To Know The "Classics"

2010-11-21T10:30:00.004-06:00

This past week I managed to watch two "classic" films that I had never seen before. Movies that I had told myself I should sit down and watch someday soon. Finally I did.

The first one was Annie Hall with Diane Keaton and Woody Allen. The second one was Out of Africa with Meryl Streep and Robert Redford. I really enjoyed both of them, for diffrent reasons since they are such contrasting films! I'm glad I took the time to see them, even though I had to spread it out over several days.

Now you might not consider these "classic" movies, but I do. One was filmed before I was born and the other was filmed when I was only seven years old.

As I was browsing on the AMC ("American Movie Classics") television channel over the weekend, I saw that the film playing on Friday night was Jeepers Creepers. I immediately thought to myself.... Really?? Jeepers Creepers? This teenager-filled ridiculous horror is considered a "classic" movie now!? How sad is that?!

I suppose everyone has a different definition of what a classic film is though. One of my top fives will always be Gone with the Wind. You can't beat the epic story and the dramatic acting behind that award-winning film. Still I also consider Mel Brooks movies to be "classic" comedy films as they were groundbreaking at the time as well.

It's a Wonderful Life, Breakfast at Tiffany's and Auntie Mame are other favorites of mine that I feel fall in the "classic" category as well. I should really compile a list of the faves I have seen and the ones I haven't but want to view. In fact, I should do that over the next month! Can you help me?

What are some of your favorite "classic" movies?

One goal of mine in 2011 is to incorporate watching more ground breaking, older films into my regular routine.

Please help me compile a great movie-watching list!

Ludicrous Speed And A Look Back

2010-11-19T09:57:00.004-06:00

Ever feel like your life is going at ludicrous speed? Or do you find yourself saying and doing things so ridiculous that it can only be compared to a classic Mel Brooks film like Spaceballs?

No? Really? Okay, then it's just me I suppose.

Seriously though, as I sit here and reflect on my life from the past year, I can't believe all of things that have happened. I can hardly fathom all the things I have done! I didn't realize how much I could change and grow (mostly for the better).

Where was this person that I am today? Hiding deep inside of me? Why did I let life pass me by for so long? Why didn't I challenge myself in new, creative ways like I do now? What changed? What sparked this new determination? Was it the book "Dream Big" that Vivian and I discovered in the library back in February?

I'm not sure. I don't have a clear answer for those questions... I just remember thinking at exactly around this time last year (Thanksgiving 2009) that I wanted to, that I needed to, shake things up in my routine! I was tired of feeling chubby, boring, uninspired and uninteresting.

I was afraid, very afraid of turning into a drab stay at home mom. That I would become resentful of not bringing in dollars to my family's income. Or that I would somehow become this all-day long television watching imbecile crying over commercials and made for TV dramatic movies.

So I made some promises to myself. I began to hold myself more accountable for goals, dreams and wishes I had in my head. It was time to start making them a reality instead of just talking about what I wanted all the time. And how I could raise this beautiful, bright daughter (diva) of mine and encourage her to reach for the stars if I didn't go for them either? Vivian is definitely a huge factor for me striving to be a better person, not just a better mom.

As I glanced back at photos taken from the past several months, it all seems so far away. Like so long ago. But it has only been a year or less since all of the following things have occurred:

(1) I survived living in a hotel for six weeks with our family!

(2) I wrote love letters to my shower head, ceiling fan, washer and dryer and more after my family moved into our current house!

(3) I survived a wild night in the ER with my husband on New Year's Eve!

(4) I ran my first ever 5k race with the great help of my coach (my dad) and did better than I thought I would.

(5) I read more books this past year than I've read in many years!

(6) I survived my gallbladder removal surgery with my sense of humor still in tact!

(7) I had fun being a storm chaser for a day!

(8) Vivian and I had a very busy, fun-filled summer! I captured highlights in these photos.

(9) I continued writing letters about things that really matter, like this one on my hatred of the automatic flushing toilet.

(10) I turned 32 years old with grace and dignity instead of whining about it like I usually do.

(11) I quit a challenge that I started for myself when I realized it wasn't working out like I hoped.

(12) I wrote a touching tribute to my daughter for being a great inspiration in my life.

(13) I took some time off in October to let others show off their writing talent!

(14) I wrote a book and finished it! Here is what the cover looks like (more details about its availability will be coming soon):

And my latest thing:

(15) I have started a new blog to promote the book I wrote and to share this new creative outlet (cooking) in my life!

Whew! Looking at the above list and just typing them has worn me out!!! It's no wonder I feel like Dark Helmet and Col. Sanders felt after hitting the "ludicrous speed" button on the space ship.

I set out to achieve a few goals. Some of them I reached and others I didn't. Then I became crazy obsessed with writing a book and somehow finished it. It is published (well, self-published by me) and I'll be making it available online for anyone to purchase by next week.   It's amazing how things are turning out.

Wow! Sorry but I still am IN SHOCK over the fact that I wrote an entire book, from start to finish and have published it and am about to share it with everyone I know!!!

I have really outdone myself this year! Maybe next year in 2011 I should just be a lazy bum. What do you think?

I hope the new year doesn't depress me.   After a high like I'm experiencing now, I may take on that letdown that can follow. Yet somehow I know I'll prevail. In fact, I think I'm even more motivated now to continue writing and continue sharing my journey with others.

I no longer feel the need to dream up some fantasy fiction that will be a bestseller. I don't care about what the trends in literature are. I'm just happy to be writing. I'm overjoyed to be jotting down the things that I am learning, the things that I know and the things that may inspire other people, ordinary people just like me.

And I realize that the only thing that has ever really held me back from my dreams was me.....until now~!

Thank you for being with me here on this blog. Thanks for sharing in my ups and downs. And thank you for reading this post of reflection. I think it's very important that we take time to review where we've been and where we're headed next, even if we're not sure about the path.

May the schwartz be with you!

Day 2 Of My Guest Writing Adventures!

2010-11-17T06:52:00.000-06:00

Today I am a guest writer over at Two Kids And A Map, another wonderful site by my pal Jen. Here is where she specifically talks about the places she visits (or hopes to visit) with her kids. From Germany to her own backyard in Pensacola, she reveals how to navigate through lines, how to pack, offers great tips on enjoying (not dragging) your children along the way and more.

As a guest on her site, I talk about how I use the visitor's centers when I travel. Although not every city has a welcome center, the larger communities do offer them. You'd be surprised at how informative, helpful and interesting these locations can be. Hop over to this site to find out more~!

Here I am pictured inside the Pensacola Visitors and Welcome Center. They have these fun, lifesize statues there that I enjoyed posing with. I mean how can you not smile at a pelican dressed in a bikini??

And if you're stopping by from Two Kids And A Map, welcome! My site isn't specifically geared toward traveling but I have had my share of funny things happen while I was playing a tourist or visiting a new location.

Here are a few stories you might enjoy:

Read about how I was a Storm Chaser for a Day and captured funnel cloud photos!

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I hope you feel welcomed enough to browse my brochures (I mean, former blog posts), take a map (I mean, benchmark this site) and take a detour to come by and see me again sometime! I promise to have a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies and some freshly squeezed lemonade for you too.

I hope everyone has great travels today and in the coming days!

All Aboard - I'm Taking You On My Guest Writer's Train For The Next Two Days!

2010-11-16T06:49:00.003-06:00

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I will be a guest writer at two wonderful sites. I love it when people ask me to to write for them. It gives me a break yet a fun challenge from my daily routine.

The first place you can find me is called Pensacola With Kids. It's the first blog I found before I moved to this area over a year ago. The site is fabulous! The whole purpose of it is playing a tourist in your own backyard and finding free or affordable things that you can do with children.

Although the site is a wonderful resource that I refer to almost every day, the best part for me is that I became friends with the site's creator and writer, Jen. Her daughter and my daughter are close in age and play together well. Also, Jen and I have a lot in common - we're both writers, bloggers and resourceful women. We can't stand it when we hear folks say there is nothing to do! Jen was the first person to welcome me to Pensacola and I've never been more grateful or happy because of that.

I am honored to be a guest writer for her site as I took my first Pensacola trolley tour in late September. The tour was so much fun and very, very informative. I learned so many things about Pensacola and about history that took place here! Also, the best gelato I ever ate (so far) was actually served in the middle of a local fish market called Joe Patti's!

Read about my trolley tour here!

Please stop by there to say hello, check out my writeup and see Jen's amazing website. You will not regret it!

And if you're a visitor who is stopping by from Pensacola with Kids, then welcome to my life after 30! I'm a very silly, very honest woman who is the mother of a diva-like three year old girl. I write about any and all of my adventures here on this site.

Here are some things you might enjoy reading:

Thanks for stopping by my place! I hope you feel welcomed enough to take your shoes off and stay awhile! I'll be back again tomorrow to share my other guest writing spot. I hope you'll stay tuned!

I Need A Fat Lady, A Fork, and Liza Minnelli Please!

2010-11-14T07:32:00.004-06:00

I'm done! I'm really done with my book! After hours and weeks of being consumed by nothing else, my cookbook is complete. I'm really proud of it. I love it actually! As I've said before, I never dreamed that I would write a cookbook, but that's what I did.

Honestly though, it's so much more than a book with recipes in it. It is funny and silly, outrageous and inspiring -- aspects that I believe make up my personality. The book is personal and has stories in it, like how I turned a barf bin into a measuring cup. And how my aunt and uncle ruined the turkey for Thanksgiving one year. So you see, it's more than just a cookbook - it's a book about my life as I learned to cook and funny things that have happened along the way.

My amazing, talented friend Carrie has offered to design the book cover for me. She said, I want to do this for you, and in the midst of being sick and raising a three-month old and a three-year old. Yeah, she's crazy but she's wonderful! And I can't wait to see her finished product. I really love what she's created so far.

Now if only I could actually successfully upload it to the self-publisher site so that I can share it with you and make it available for people to buy!! That's right, you guessed it. I'm having technical difficulties.....

I'm trying to upload my book in its complete and final PDF format to the publishing site and I'm receiving error messages. And I'm being told that I need to insert blank pages. And maybe I have to renumber the pages (which could affect the index that I spent three days writing). Also, my copyright page needs some adjustments. And possibly I'm in a vicious cycle with my assigned ISBN (The International Standard Book Number) since so far it appears that every time I upload a new version of my book, it wants to assign me a new number. Then it's wrong on my copyright page and on the bar code on my cover. Insert big moan and sigh here!!

I've written to technical support since I can't find a phone number or live person anywhere! Hopefully I hear something back by Monday. If not, then I may be shopping around for a new publisher.

I suppose these are the disadvantages of doing it all yourself. If I had a book agent doing all this work for me, I'd have a lot less headaches to deal with, I am guessing. These are all things I should have done more homework on before I became completely obsessed with writing and finishing my book.

But it is what it is. I decided from the beginning that I would do this first one on my own. That my book, although great, is probably not suited for mass population or New York Times' Best-Seller List. I know that. I'm okay with that. I'd be happy if I just sold 100 copies to family and friends. Honestly!

I just wanted to create this thing - this book - and put it out there for people to see. That's what I'm doing, what I will be doing....hopefully very, very soon!

BUT I need this publishing site (or some other one, if this group doesn't work out) to print it, sell it and distribute it for me. I don't have the tools to do that myself. And I really don't want to be making crappy copies at a local print shop or selling them from my van down by the river along with the ghost of famous comedian Chris Farley.

So please, if you're reading this - send me your thoughts, prayers, best wishes and the strength to get through this last stage in the process! This apparent hardest part in the writing journey -- the "upload to publish" step and the "waiting to have a real copy in my hands" step~!

I'm in the ninth innning. I'm about to slide into home. I'm almost there!!!

Come'on universe --- please oh please, send me that fat lady I can sing with! Stick a massive fork in my body, if that is what it takes!

And please send Liza Minnelli with her parade of gay men and her awesome showtunes to be my side until I that book copy arrives in my hands. Please! (Besides, I'd love to do a dance with her anyway, especially the "Single Ladies" number she showcased in the Sex and the City 2 film).

That's all I ask for. That's all I want for Christmas (only I want it by Thanksgiving please so I can sell them before Christmas, if you don't mind).

Please! Please! Don't make me grovel!

She and Me, A Comparison

2010-11-10T19:31:00.000-06:00

I'm taking a break from my book, but only for today. I've been ignoring my daughter a lot lately in order to write, edit and fine tune my masterpiece so I decided to make a list of all the things Vivian has been doing lately at age three. Then I compared it to myself, at age 32.

So here we are - the very sassy Viva the Diva versus me. Just a few things that I want to mention worth remembering for future reference:

Current Weight:
3 year old - 34 pounds (75% for her age)
32 year old - Yeah right, I'm not telling you that! ;-)

Current Height:
3 year old - 39 and 1/4 inches tall (95% for her age)
32 year old - 5 feet, 2 inches (the same height since I was 13 years old!)

Hair style:
3 year old - blonde, curly and wild! Don't even try to brush it!
32 year old - did I brush it or remember to wash it today? holy crap, is that another gray hair on my head?

Favorite Foods:
3 year old - lollipop, graham crackers
32 year old - any foods, especially if it involves quiet, uninterrupted time when I'm not fighting with a 3-year old

Favorite Color:
3 year old - purple, pink
32 year old - any color that is folded, clean, not wrinkled and matches the rest of me

Favorite Movie:
3 year old - Alvin and The Chipmunks, the Squeakel
32 year old - Any film that is not for kids that I can sit and watch alone

Favorite Saying:
3 year old - "You do it Mommy." and "No."
32 year old - "I love you!"

Phrase uttered the most:
3 year old - "I want that." and "I know, mommy!"
32 year old - "Stop annoying the pets!" "Let's go to the potty!" and "If you know, then why I am repeating myself and telling you again what needs to be done?!"

Cleaning:
3 year old - Thinks picking up is fun and things should be put back in their place.
32 year old - Really wish I could afford a cleaning lady.

Books:
3 year old - Likes them if they are pop-up, noisy or colorful.
32 year old - Wants to read more books and make time soon to finish the novel I started.

Weather:
3 year old - Does not like windy days. It messes up her hair!
32 year old - Loving these cooler days and hoping to wear new scarf soon.

Favorite Activity:
3 year old - Talking to stuffed animals or using play-doh
32 year old - sleeping

Sense of Humor:
3 year old - Thinks everything is funny.
32 year old - Sees humor in almost everything.

Love:
3 year old - Loves her mommy with her whole heart.
32 year old - Loves her daughter with her whole heart.

So you see, my little diva. I suppose we are really not all that different after all....

Vivian and I at her three-year old princess birthday party! :-)

She and me pictured with "Cinderella". :-)

I Hope The Fortune Cookie Is Right....

2010-11-07T09:20:00.002-06:00

I spent most of my beautiful Saturday afternoon continuing to work on my book. While others were attending soccer games, shopping for early Christmas gifts or watching sporting events while chugging beers, I was sitting with my laptop creating an index for my recipes.

You'd think I would be annoyed or disappointed to be stuck inside as a slave to my writing. But no, I rather enjoyed it. After all, I want people (myself included) to be able to find recipes made with whatever specific ingredients they're looking to use; therefore, an index is very important.

Somehow, I've hit this new level of determination. I'm in this writing groove and I'm determined to finish it, maybe even ahead of schedule!

Still, I did let my mind wander..... Am I wasting my time? Should I be enjoying more family moments right now? Should I be outside on this gorgeous November day enjoying the fall weather?

I did take a break that evening to enjoy a sushi dinner and watch a movie with Kirk and Vivian. We rented "Toy Story 3" and had a cozy time watching it while lounging on the sofa. (Confession: I cried like a little baby at the end of that film. Sad but true. I was bawling like an injured animal while Kirk laughed at me. It's silly to feel sympathy for toys that are not real but I did. Lol.)

After the film, I dug around the take-out bag with my spring rolls inside to look for the fortune cookies. There was only one. We were robbed! Kirk says to me, "You take it. I don't need a fortune or a cookie." Happily I accepted. As corny as it sounds, I love to see what the fortunes say.

And I'm so hoping that my fortune cookie from last night will in fact predict my future.... Here is what it said....

Just in case you have trouble viewing the photo, it reads: "The world will soon be ready to receive your talents."

Talk about an ego booster, eh?!

After I saw that, all of my doubts disappeared. Things feel different this time.

I already feel like a winner because I've come so far in such a short time with my writing. I'm just days away from finishing this book. After that, I'll be doing final edits. Following that, I will upload it to be published and do a test print copy for myself. But the end is near. Or perhaps I should say the real beginning is here.

Kirk said to me yesterday, "Gosh, you're always writing or working on your book these days~! You're obsessed!" I replied to him, "Yes, and it feels great."

I'm finally feeling that writer's high that I've heard others speak about. (That runners feel when completing their marathon). I'm reliving those moments of when Vivian entered my world..... Soon, I'll be giving birth to a book - my first real book. What an amazing feeling!

Even though I'm crazy to put stock in a fortune cookie that anyone might have received.... Even though my last fortune cookie before this made absolutely no sense.... I will make sure that this slip of paper's words do come true! I'm putting my talents to good use and will be sharing them with the world (even if it's just my own small world of family and friends) very soon! :-)

If you don't mind, I'd like to write my own next fortune, both for you and for me.
It will read: You can accomplish a goal, reach a dream and achieve a sense of utter joy.

I'm Writing A Book! And I'm Half-way Done!

2010-11-04T09:56:00.004-05:00

I'm taking a break from writing and editing to share the realization that I had this morning - I'M WRITING A BOOK! And I'm more than half-way done with it too!

In fact, I'm up to 75 pages now! Excuse me while I pause for a minute to say HOLY CRAP! And to cheer for myself!

I'm doing it. I'm really doing it this time!

And this has nothing to do with that NaNoWriMo thing (National Novel Writing Month) that other bloggers attempt every November. While I commend them for trying to write a novel in one month, I know that I can't limit myself like that. Nor could I handle that much pressure in four to five weeks! Besides, my book is not a novel.

I can hardly believe I'm saying this but I'm writing a cookbook!  Yes, me a cookbook - a book with recipes in it. All my life, I've always known that I'd write a book someday.  Yet never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that it would be a cookbook of all things!? But that's what I'm doing!

This cookbook has taken me nearly a year to prepare for it.   And I've been writing, typing, editing, photographing and formatting every page for the past two months.

It's more than just a book of recipes though. It's me after all. I talk about how I've become a real cook over the past year, how I freeze foods, how cooking healthier helped me trim my waistline and more. I also have funny stories and photos inside and more than a dozen silly poems that I wrote about food. So it's a cookbook packed with my personality! :-)

I'm doing it all myself. I'm typing every single word in the book. I'm inserting every text box and each individual photo. I'm taking my own photos. I came up with the title, wrote my own acknowledgements page and decided on the subjects. I am numbering the pages and indexing it myself.   Did I mention I'm doing it ALL? And it's hard work?

Although I'm now spending about four hours per day finishing this book, completely ignoring my three year old, not exercising, letting my house become filfthy and not answering my phone or email, I am loving this writing journey. It's so very worth it!!!   I'm really enjoying this experience and seeing this project through from start to finish. I'm not completely alone either - I'm lucky to have a few friends and kind souls to preview it for me and offer me feedback.

One of the best surprises I've discovered is that the more I work on it, the more I relish in it. The more time I spend on the book, the better it thrives. With each new edit, I think of another tip to add or helpful way to convey something that I had not mentioned previously. Although time consuming and often hair pulling, I like being involved in every aspect of this book.

At first the book was just something I wanted to have for myself - a collection of my family's favorite recipes. Then it became a book that I could give to family and friends as Christmas gifts. As time continues on, I realize that my book does have the potential to sell and actually make money. And, is that so bad? Shouldn't I want to see compensation for all the hours and oven burns I received to compile the book? Is all greed bad? I'm conjuring up words utterd by Gordon Gekko in the film Wall Street.... "The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will save....the USA. Thank you very much."

Okay, I'm exaggerating. I'll never be like Gordon Gekko. I doubt that my book will ever be a bestseller and that I'll be guest appearing on the Paula Deen or Rachael Ray shows. That is not my intent. I don't want to be famous. I want the satisfaction of seeing my name in print, even if it's only because I self-published. I want this book to demonstrate a few of my accomplishments from the past year. I want to share what I've done and made with others in exchange for minimal dollars to cover the costs and my creative fee. :-)

So that is the plan! My plan that is. I'm in the home-stretch of writing my cookbook. Then I have the index and final edits to do.

But now all these other question are coming up..... What will I charge for the book (after publish, print and selling costs from www.lulu.com/)? How will making a profit from my cookbook affect my family's finances and taxes? Should I create my own LLC? What other things am I forgetting before I hit the "upload" button and put it in the hands of a distributor?   Do I really know what the hell I'm doing? Will I somehow screw this up?

I'm nervous and scared and excited all at the same time! Somehow I know it will all work out in the end. The main point is that I'm doing it!

I'm really doing it - I'm writing a book this time and I will finish it. And it feels (pardon my language) fucking great! :-)

Thank you Laverne and Shirley....

2010-11-01T08:59:00.004-05:00

Last week was rough for me. A bit emotional and draining on many levels. There were a few disappointments, illnesses and setbacks that took place. Someday I may write about them here but for now, I want to forget and move on.

For some odd reason, the theme song from Laverne and Shirley became stuck in my head this morning. The lyrics from the tune are helping me think positively at the start of this week. (Laughing) Yeah, I'm a bit weird, I realize that. After all, this show was in its prime before I even existed. Still, I did watch the reruns and recall its characters so vividly.

How could I be anything but smiling as I think of all the mishaps, laughter, tears, heartbreak and triumphs that characters Laverne DeFazio and Shirley Feeney experienced?

Sing the words to the theme song with me, will ya?

Come'on - you know you want to!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated. We're gonna do it!

Give us any chance, we'll take it. Give us any rule, we'll break it. We're gonna make our dreams come true. Doin' it our way.

Nothin's gonna turn us back now, Straight ahead and on the track now. We're gonna make our dreams come true, Doin' it our way.

There is nothing we won't try, Never heard the word impossible. This time there's no stopping us. We're gonna do it.

On your mark, get set, and go now, Got a dream and we just know now, We're gonna make our dream come true. And we'll do it our way, yes our way. Make all our dreams come true, And do it our way, yes our way, Make all our dreams come true. For me and you.

I can make all my dreams come true. And I fully intend to do it MY way, yes MY way.

By doing so, it might take me longer. Also, my way might not be the easiest way or even the best method. But it's important to me to find my own path - to have my freedom and creativity involved in every aspect. To exercise my options and my rights in future plans that affect my family and my future.

I am loving those thoughtful, inspiring words sung by Laverne and Shirley today! I'm even moving my feet and doing their dance as I say them. Because I believe in them and I believe in myself.

Do you ever receive inspiration from odd things like old TV sitcoms? If you had the chance to be (or portray) Laverne or Shirley for a day, which character would you pick? Why?

I hope you go out and make a dream come true today! Me, well I have a book to finish....

.

A Letter To Vivian On Her Third Birthday

2010-10-28T00:08:00.002-05:00

To my dear daughter Vivian Rose,

As you’re about to turn three years old, (October 29th) I’ve been thinking about what it’s like to be your mom and how my feelings for you have changed over the past year (the past three years, actually). I want to express my love for you, our relationship and how we’ve evolved up to this point.

I remember the first time I held you - I did have an instant love for you and the urge to protect you. That love quietly faded into the background for nearly the first year of your life though as I dealt with sleepless nights, more than a dozen dirty diapers per day and the constant crying you did which I couldn’t make sense of.

Some mothers will say that they love EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of motherhood. I think those folks are lying. But perhaps they’re not. Maybe some women do love every minute of it, but I wasn’t like them. I haven’t been one of those moms. There have been some very difficult, frustrating moments for me. You, my dear Diva, are often a challenge~!

Don’t misunderstand me -- It’s very easy to love you and be charmed by you. But at times, you can often turn a wonderful moment where we’re laughing and hugging into an incident where we’re crying and throwing tantrums on the floor.

You’re a bit dramatic, if you want to know the truth! You’re often hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, you're in then you're out, you're up then you're down (followed by the rest of that annoying Katy Perry song that was overplayed on the radio).

Just when I praise you for being completely potty trained, you surprise me with a waterfall of poop running down your legs while we are at a local park. (Thank goodness there was a community center next door and I had a spare change of clothing!) When you get an idea stuck in your head, there is no turning back! You are often stubborn and impatient (like your father).

Still despite a few shortcomings that you have (and we all have them as humans), you’re positively the most wonderful little girl I know. As infuriating as you can be, you are the best thing about my life that I could ever hope for!

You smile and the whole world around you lights up! You laugh and it’s such a hearty, belly laugh that others hear and start to chuckle too. You laugh and love with your whole heart. Even though you’re a tiny thing, you seem to have emotions and passions of a giant.

You give the best hugs. Hands down! Especially when they are random and running at me at full force. You see the world as your playground and invite me to play along with you, which makes me quite possibly the most fortunate person on the planet.

Your inquisitive nature and reasoning is astounding. You have this focus and determination that could make you a world leader even at the age of three. Although you like to battle us at dinnertime, I know you love foods, especially chocolates and sweets like me.

My dear daughter, you have this desire to learn so badly. I can see it in your eyes. You are so fascinated with the alphabet and the sounds that letters make. I can hardly keep up with your pace. I know I should be teaching you a foreign language or physics right now, if only I weren’t so ignorant of them both. Still, I will always try to teach you about living life to the fullest, being kind, being honest, making choices and chasing bubbles in the wind.

Although our first year together was rough, I always knew we had the potential to be a great mother-daughter. Even though at times I was not sure if I could handle you or if I would ever want another child, I realize now that I want very badly to give you a sibling. I know that you would make a wonderful big sister. And if I’m lucky enough to have another child and have it be a girl, I think I’d want another one just like you because I love who you are and the person you’re becoming!

I never thought I was the stay-at-home mom type, but I see now that as long as I’m staying at home with YOU, then it’s the right place for me at the moment. I’m so thankful to have this opportunity to spend so much time with you because I see how much you enjoy being mommy’s girl right now.

I love how the tiniest things make you go into full on hysterics, like me tilting my head or making animal noises. I love that I’m already embarrassing you with my singing and dancing in the car as you politely told me to “Calm down, mommy. Calm down!” last week!

I love watching you be thoughtful and harsh on your stuffed animals – how you want to potty with them, eat with them, punish them or have them do whatever you are doing. You’re a wonderful companion and friend.

I love how sometimes we can just cuddle in bed or on the couch for minutes or hours. One of my favorite times is first thing in the morning when you crawl into bed with your daddy and me and we can all just lay there as a cozy family.

I remember how when I found out you were a girl, I could NOT stop crying. I was so happy to have this little female to help shape and mold in this wild and crazy world. Little did I know that it would be YOU that would help shape ME~ after all, you make me want to be a better person, a better mom and a better friend than I’ve ever been in my entire life!

I may have given you the gift of life (along with your dad Kirk, of course) but you are the one who gives me a better reason to enjoy my life. Each day you continue to give me joy, laughter, entertainment, tears and most of all -- love!

So even though you’re only three years old and won’t understand all these words I’m saying now, someday I hope you’ll get what I mean. Thank you for the gifts you give me. Thank you for being you! Even though I still can't say that I love every single moment of motherhood, I can say that I do love being YOUR mom!

I love you Vivian Rose, my diva. My baby. My little girl who’s growing up!

All the love in my heart,

Mom (or “Mommy” as you currently call me)

Recognition

2010-10-27T07:40:00.004-05:00

Yesterday while my daughter Vivian attended her "Mother's Day Out" program, I planted my butt in a seat inside a Starbucks location and worked for two hours on my cookbook. I had a $35 gift card in my pocket thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law. So I enjoyed a Pumpkin Spiced Latte, a spinach eggwhite wrap and a huge chocolate chip cookie while I wrote and edited.   Hey, you can't write a cookbook without enjoying good food, am I right?

One of the pages that I spent time developing was my "Acknowledgements" sheet - those people in my life that I want to recognize and thank. A few weeks ago, I had written down the names of family and friends I felt should be included in my book.   Yesterday I put more thought into the names and the people they represent. I added a line, a comment or an adjective that expresses what these folks mean to me. But I wonder if it will be enough to show my thanks?

Have you ever stopped to think about all the folks who have helped you along your way? The wonderful people who have challenged you, encouraged you, inspired you or helped shape you into the person who you are now?

So often we get caught up in the day to day of life. I know I do. We don't take the time to tell someone we care about, "Hey, thanks for those encouraging words today! You really made me feel better!" Or when a comrade comes to your rescue, perhaps we should mention our affection at a later time thanking that person again. Why not double or triple the thanks, even after you've already expressed appreciation on the day the kindness occurred!?

Sometimes recognition may even take forty years to arrive. That was the case for my dad this week! My father was honored with a medal on Monday for his military services in the Vietnam War. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal presented my dad (along with other veterans) with the award.

My dad "Buddy" (pictured right) receives an honor for services he performed in the Vietnam War nearly forty years after it happened, on October 25, 2010.   Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal (pictured left) presents the medal.

I was so disappointed that I could not be there for the ceremony! I had given my mom specific instructions to elbow her way to the front, even past old ladies if she had to, in order to snap the above picture of my dad receiving his award.

Although my dad said it wasn't a huge deal to receive the honor and that nearly all veterans from Louisiana were eligible for the award or a similar honor, I'm so very proud of him! I'm so glad to see my father being recognized for risking his life as a young twenty-something man. He spent a year fighting a war on foreign soil.   He deserves this honor!

Doesn't it feel good to be recognized for an achievement? The best form of flattery can come in an award, even one that arrives decades later for a deed you performed. There is never a bad time to show appreciation for someone!

I'm fortunate that I have people in my life who make me feel special on a regular basis. My husband, for one, is quick to recognize me on a weekly, if not daily basis. I'm trying to do the same with those who have influenced me, helped me, and cheered me on throughout the years.   I don't want to let forty years go by before I tell my friends how important they are to me. I hope to randomly pass out my appreciation for loved ones and even strangers who brighten my day!

Please take the time to acknowledge the people in your world who make it meaningful. Whether you write your own "Acknowledgements" page like I did or just place a phone call to your best pal, mom, cousin, daughter, brother, niece or whoever, just do it. None of us would be the people we are if we didn't have some help and influence along the way!

Cheers to all the good folks who deserve to be recognized and to those, like my dad, who are finally receiving the acclamations they deserve!

Guest Post: "Journal Junkie" by Diary of A Chocoholic

2010-10-25T06:20:00.000-05:00

Meet one of my newest blogging buddies - Rachel of Diary of A Chocoholic. She is my final guest writer this month. Thankfully she came to my rescue to fill in for me one last day this month. It was just in time too since I developed a sinus infection and an upper respiratory infection over the weekend..... sigh!   A girl like me just can't catch a break I tell ya!

Anyway, back to the lovely Rachel. She reminds me of my former self - the artist formerly known as Mandy.... Yet she has more drive and more focus than I ever did. Plus, Rachel is funny, witty, beautiful and honest.   I like how she shares her dreams with readers. She makes living in an all-girl college campus seem so much fun too!

Rachel is getting married in December and about to graduate from school. She's lived abroad and traveled a great deal. I'm a tiny bit jealous of her life and all she has ahead of her! I'm thrilled for her too and can't wait to hear more of her adventures.

Check out Rachel's site where she writes about her chocolate addiction in addition to her love of books, crafts and more!   Today she shares with us her passion for journaling.

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Hey ya’ll.

I’m Rachel, and I’m a chocoholic. Wait, this isn’t Chocoholics Anonymous?

In that case, I’m Rachel and I’m a journal junkie. As ya’ll know, Mandy is a big list maker, and I am too, but there is something I tend to keep slightly more than lists - notebooks.

Once people learn that I’m a writer, they start buying me notebooks and journals. The first few journals I remember receiving came from my best friends and teachers. Then they begin to come from relatives and neighbors who knew of my love of writing.

Needless to say, I’ve gathered quite the collection of notebooks over the last decade or so. I wrote in black and white composition notebooks when I wanted to feel adventurous like Harriet the Spy, or pretty flowered notebooks when I wanted to be like a princess. In some notebooks I just scribble a few lines or drawings in then I tuck them away.

Lately, I’ve begun to make more use of my collection. I started a journal in June of this year and I am about to start another.

I’ve been keeping a list of books to read in a Pirates of the Caribbean journal that a friend gave me in high school. I’ve covered a few pages in titles. Once I’ve read the novels, I highlight them if I’d like to purchase the book or read it again. If I don't enjoy the book, I strike through the title in my book journal.

Furthermore, I have a purple-lined notepad that I keep a running to-do list on. Currently, it is two pages long and comprised mostly of wedding related tasks since I'm getting hitched in December.

I also have a green and blue notebook that I use as a food journal whenever I feel my diet has gotten too far off track. I try to eat lots of fruit and veggies but occasionally go overboard with one too many chocolate chip cookies. Writing down everything I eat helps me get back on track. The rare occasions that I actually get to cook dinner, I use it as my meal planning notebook.

Two more of my notebooks are used to collect recipes. One I made and the other was a gift from my roommate. My roommate gave me a notebook style cookbook. It lets me enter in pages of my favorite recipes and even categorize them. The other recipe-related journal, is my “Try Me” notebook. I use this one to stash various collected ingredients. Recipes I print or tear out of magazines go in there. Once I try a meal and if I really like them the recipe is moved into the other notebook.

Last but not least, I have my inspiration notebook. It’s a lab notebook given to me by my dad. He thought I would need it when I took Chemistry but I didn’t. So instead of letting it go to waste, I’ve begun to fill it with inspiring quotes, images, lyrics, compliments, advice and Bible verses. This is my pick-me-up notebook that I refer to when I need to be uplifted.

See? I really am a journal junkie.

(Please ignore the terrible floor)

What about you? Do you journal? Have friends built a collection of things for you? What kinds of things to you write about or like to keep on file?

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Thanks for admitting you have a problem Rachel! ;-)   Lol. That is the first step, after all. Hahaha.

No seriously, I love your junky ways of journaling. It's a great memory to create and even an heirloom that you can pass on to your children and grandchildren someday.

This blog is a bit like my journal but you have given me new ideas that will push me to do even more! You've inspired me to take journaling to another level. I love the idea of an inspiration journal -- clipping quotes and verses that speak to me! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your stories and photos with us. Everyone be sure to visit Rachel's place and show her some love.

This completes my guest writers for the month of October. I hope you've enjoyed hearing from these teriffic bloggers as much as I have! I will actually be a guest writer on a friend's site very soon. Then I'll be back in a few days to share a very funny, very sentimental post with you. Stay tuned!

Why Do I Feel Like A Virgin?

2010-10-22T16:25:00.007-05:00

You're so fine and you're mine
I'll be yours 'till the end of time
'Cause you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
I've nothing to hide
Like a virgin
Haven't blogged in such a long time
(I Feel) Like a virgin
As I hit "publish post"
And make these words all mine.

Like a virgin, ooh, ooh

Feels so good to type
When your words flow, and the rhyme beats, and you love me

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Can't you hear my words speak
Like blogging for the very first time?

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Okay, so I'm exaggerating but I do feel a bit like a lost, nervous teenager as I type this first real blog post in weeks!   What should I write about? So much is happening! Where do I begin?

I'm just going to talk at random and save the intimate details for later. Here is the most important happenings and the plans on the immediate horizon for me and my life:

(1) Things are well here for the most part. I'm finally feeling somewhat healthy again after dealing with strep throat for over a week.   Why is it that being sick as an adult seems so much worse than being sick as a child?

(2) I'm making a lot of progress with my cookbook. I'm 1/3 of the way finished. I was hoping to have more done by now but I'm cutting myself some slack. After all, I was sick for over a week. Then I was busy hosting a brunch at my home. I've still got another ten days to get the majority of the book done and I usually work well under pressure. And if I go into November, that's okay.... my goal is to make it available before Christmas so I know I can do it!

(3) I took a day off to go on a Haunted Ghost Story Tour and enjoyed a great lunch with a friend. I even had the chance to see the insides of a men's room where a spirit supposedly visited!   hahaha :-) I'll write details and share a few photos from the tour very soon.

(4) Last month I also had the opportunity to go on a trolley tour where I learned a lot about my community of Pensacola. Then a few weeks ago, I spent a day in the French Quarter, New Orleans with Kirk and other family members. I plan to share photos and a few funny stories about both trips with you soon!

(5) The Diva will officially be three years old next Friday, October 29th. I can hardly believe it!  That expression about time flying by really does ring true. I've been thinking a lot about how my relationship with my daughter is changing and how much more I enjoy being a mom than I did when I first became one. As I gather more thoughts on that, I will share a post on motherhood from my point of view.

(6) On top of that, I just remembered that I've now been a stay at home mom for a whole year! Wow! That means I haven't had a job outside my home in over 365 days! That is the longest I've gone without receiving a paycheck in over a decade!   I've been reflecting a great deal on that as well.... my attitude about being an at home mom instead of a work outside the home mom. I can't wait to share my thoughts with you on that either!

(7) A former boss and friend of mine passed away recently. He was in a tragic car accident. I've been thinking about him, his family and just how precious life really is these days as well.

(8) I am loving all the guest writers who have shared their stories here. Don't you? I'm so grateful that they filled in for me. I have one more guest post that will be coming next week.  Then I'll wrap up the month.

(9) Vivian has been having diarrhea of the mouth lately! She is saying new words and full sentences every day now. She is amazing me with what she is learning. Yesterday Viv and I spent an entire morning cuddling on the couch. This is a rare thing for us as the Diva often wants to stay busy and play games instead of hug and lie around. I just love her so much! I want to write a letter to her about how incredible she is at three years old and what it's like being her mom. So I'm working on the right words to my daughter and I might just share some of it here soon as well.

(10) Halloween is just a week away and I just can't get excited over it yet?! Maybe it's because I really want to avoid the candy that is passed out by everyone. I'm hoping that Vivian's "Supergirl" costume from last year still fits her because I dread going to the stores to find something else.  Perhaps I'll be in better spirits to pretend I am a 'walking spirit' in several days?

(11) My parents just returned from a two-week bus trip across the New England states. They visited New York, Boston, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Tennessee, Maine and other places. My mom says she has taken over 200 photos and has many interesting stories to share. I told her that she and my dad will be guest writing for me in November or December to share details on their travel adventures. So that is something you can look forward to reading in the coming weeks!

(12) Speaking of my parents, my wonderful dad is scheduled to receive a medal this coming Monday. The medal/certificate or award (not quite sure of all the details just yet) will be given to him by Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal for the military services he performed in the Vietnam War. I'm so very proud of him and wish I could be there for the ceremony!! I realize that the conflict that occurred in Vietnam causes mixed emotions for many people but my father was drafted into the war and performed his civic duty with honor. I'm glad to see he's being recognized for that now.

Well that's all I can think of for now to update you. Not all totally boring, right? I had some actual interesting points to share with you today.

But now I must go. My time is limited since the Diva is demanding my attention. Also, I have a draft of my cookbook open on my computer.... so I should get back to work! I'll be back next week to share more about the above list.

Have a great weekend!

Guest Post: "Things I've Learned - Parenting Style" by Chocolate Covered Daydreams

2010-10-19T06:43:00.000-05:00

Meet my mentor and friend Simone from the blog Chocolate Covered Daydreams. I don't exactly remember how I found her wonderful site - I think it was just from another blogger's reel on the side bar. But I'm so glad I did discover her.

Simone has become almost like an inner voice in my head - her positive spin on life and her constant upbeat outlook and observations on the little things really keep me going. She writes about things like bread crusts that make you look at life in a whole new way!   Then Simone also shares real life-altering stories like how she lifted up a truck to help save another woman's (a must read that will make you cry and rejoice~! )

She is a wonderful writer and a beautiful person. Simone is always sending me encoraging words and pushign me to write more!   I feel so lucky that I know her and can call her my friend.   Please stop by her site to say hello or leave her a warm comment below. Thank you and enjoy her stories!

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I am so excited to be a guest blogger for Mandy. This is like being invited to be a guest on a talk show except I’m not anyone famous.

Hi, I’m Simone of the site Chocolate Covered Daydreams. I am a mommy of two who are now all “growed up”. On Thursdays, I usually impart 10 things I’ve learned throughout the week or just in general about life. I call it Things I’ve Learned Thursday. But, since I’m guest posting today, I’m going to do a special Things I’ve Learned - Parenting Style.

Before I became a mom, I had huge goals and aspirations. I pictured sewing matching mommy and me dresses and baking bread and having tea parties and a baby that went to sleep without having to be told twice. Most of those things never happened. Real life happened instead!

Yet here are ten things I've learned about that real world of parenting that have made me a far richer person - woman and mommy - on the inside and out.   These are things I'd like to share with you about my experiences - things I will never forget and would not change for an instant!

1) I learned that in order to sew a dress for my daughter’s first day in kindergarten, make sure the neckline was cut accurately. I had to almost grease her with Vaseline to get the dress over her head and had to cut it off of her when it was time to remove it. (She sure looked adorable but wore it only one time.)

2) Always encourage your child’s passion and excitement. When I was a kid, my mom didn’t take my desire to draw and paint seriously. She treated it as if it were a passing thing. From the time my twin sis and I scribbled on the walls until now, the passion hasn’t disappeared. Look for talents and abilities that your child may have. When my first one was 2 and had no fear or shyness and loved watching Annie and singing, Tomorrow over and over again, we enrolled her in acting class. She soon had an agent and a manager and auditioned and nailed some pretty great parts. BUT, also listen to when your child says, “Enough.” No matter how much I thought she would want to continue to act, by 6 years old, she had had enough of being in the car and memorizing lines. She just wanted to have fun and be a typical, normal kid.

3) Don’t take your kids out during naptime. Trust me, when you are getting stared at because your child has hit meltdown, it’s only because their patience has run out. Have you ever walked on your knees and saw the view from a kid’s stroller? There’s not much fun or amusement after sitting in a stroller for two hours.

4) I learned that homeschooling my daughters was the best decision I could’ve ever made. I am an advocate for learning. I believe that babies are like sponges and are ready to learn even before they reach school age. By the time my daughter turned 4, she was reading quite well. I taught her the old fashioned way I learned…phonics, then, sight words. When she got to kindergarten, she was already reading at a third grade level. The teacher didn’t have the resources to keep her challenged and also told me more than once that she would just have to wait until the other kids caught up with her. After growing more and more tired of her wearing a different alphabet hat each day, I decided to jump head first into homeschooling. She loved it and her little sister loved going to school right along with her. I knew what kept each of them intrigued and how to challenge them. I also learned never be afraid to say, “I don’t know. Why don’t we find out together?” We went on field trips at home using the computer. We learned how M&Ms were made, what it took to manufacture crayons and so much more.

5) Use your imagination! Kids now don’t really know how to use their imaginations because electronics have really taken over and zapped all of that free creativity. Collect paper towel tubes, old bars of soap, rubber bands, buttons, material, magazines, wood, straws and whatever scraps that can be used for creating and let them have a ball.

My youngest daughter was a taker aparter. By the time she was 4, we would take apart an electrical fan (not the electrical portion) and put all the pieces in front of her and have her put it back together again. Of course, there was plenty of supervising and she knew that she was never allowed to take apart or put anything back together again unless she was given the permission. To this day, she is very mechanical and has decided that one day, she is going to go to school to become an auto mechanic, just because.

6) Open up your kids eyes to other cultures and people of all ages. Even though my girls had grandparents, they knew that there were elderly people that lived in nursing homes that didn’t have grandkids and were sometimes lonely. We adopted a grandma and when they made a card or drew a picture, we went to the nursing home so that they could show their “grandma” and of course, tape their picture to her walls. They would sit and have a snack in the dining area while others ate their snacks too and the elderly loved it!

7) Start your own traditions. Where I lived, usually Halloween was so cold that I seriously didn’t want them out trick or treating and ending up sick. Plus, there was a scare at the time of people poisoning candy so I started a Family Harvest Celebration. The fun part was that I chose the candy that I wanted them to have and my now ex husband and I, hid it all over the house while they stayed in their room in anticipation. Then, they went on their candy hunt, we ate junk food and watched movies together and “officially” lit the fireplace. They looked forward to it every year. As the years went by, we celebrated the harvest celebration the day after Halloween when the candy was 50 – 75% off.

8) Long drives can be actually entertaining when you allow your kids to tell you a story. We took turns telling stories and singing songs or telling jokes. Kids and knock knock jokes never go out of style.

9) The best adventures are those that are free. I knew of a little girl that always wanted to spend time at our house because she was always kept so busy with after school activities she never had the chance just to be at home. Sometimes, just being at home and reading a book, painting, making cookies and playing a game is better than being away from home until late in the evenings.

10) Be a mommy as well as a friend. Too many parents are told that it’s wrong to be “a friend” and that their kids won’t respect them as an authority figure. Wrong! As women, we wear many hats, from nurturer, to cook, to veterinarian, teacher, librarian and housekeeper, but the one that your child will treasure the most is your friendship. Treat your child the way you’d want them to treat you. If you want to be heard, then listen to them. Ask questions and show appreciation when they least expect it. My girls were taught to not ask for anything when we went to the store. I would surprise them and buy them random things for “not asking”. Their faces would light up when I’d put two packages of Skittles on the counter, just because. It gave me joy to give to them because they didn’t ask.

Everything I’ve learned in my life, I’ve learned from being a mom. What have you learned today?

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Well Simone my friend, I can tell you that I've learned that I want to be a mom just like you! These are amazing tips and wise words that I will remember for a long time. Actually, they even made me cry as I read them. I can tell how much you love being a mom and how much you've gained from raising your two "growed up" daughters.

Thank you, thank you for sharing this guest post with my readers and me. I just love your blog and all the things you continue to learn each day and week and share with the world! Keep up the great work and thanks for being here today!

Okay folks, I have one more guest writer this month; then I'll be back! I'll actually be a guest writer myself next week on two of my favorite sites.

I've really enjoyed this break from blogging though..... I've been getting so much done with my book! Hooray! And I've gotten some time to relax, get well from my strep throat. This week I'm hosting a brunch at my home for friends. So thanks to my guest writers for giving me this vacation! I'm so happy you've been here filling in for me!

I'll be back next week with updates and a special birthday post for Vivian!  Until then, cheers and enjoy this fall weather!

Guest Post: "Making The Best of It" with Cathy Has Antsy Pants

2010-10-15T11:43:00.002-05:00

Please welcome my pal Cathy of Cathy Has Antsy Pants to the guest post writing spotlight today! We have a cute little story as to how we met. Cathy even wrote about it on her site once.

To sum it up - in August 2009, Cathy found my blog from a search on the internet. She was considering a similar name - "Cathy's Life after 30" as she was approaching her big 3-0 birthday. That's how she found me and started reading my site. She decided to go with Cathy Has Antsy Pants instead though. I became her first follower and one of her biggest fans soon after. I'm honored to have her share a funny family story with you on here while I'm still resting from strep throat and busily working on my book.

I love Cathy's "Flashback Fridays" where she often shares old, hilarious (and even embarassing) pictures of herself. Check out this one where I commented that she resembled "Joe Dirt" with her mullet hairdo. ;-) Cathy also reviews alcoholic beverages in what she calls "Booze Day". Her honest, witty comments on vodkas, gins and cocktails will leave your mouth watering and begging for more.

Most importantly though, Cathy is a wonderful photographer. Taking photos is her true passion and I know that someday she's going to be showcasing her amazing works for millions to see! Check out her skills with these beautiful shots shared on her photography blog.

You'll want to wish Cathy Happy Birthday too! She just celebrated her special day this week and is even giving away a few prizes! What a great woman!

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"Making The Best of It"

One of my very first family car trips was actually supposed to be a boat trip. I grew up on the Mississippi River and we spent every weekend on the boat when I was a kid. My family had planned a boat trip down the river with another family. Problem was, the weekend we were going to spend lazily floating down the river, was ruined by flooding. There were two bridges that we wouldn't make it under because the water was too high.

So what did we do?

We jumped into the family car. Remember the Griswolds from National Lampoons "Vacation"? That was my family! We had a big Mercury station wagon with the wood paneling and everything! The whole trip we were referred to as the Griswolds; my dad was Clark and my mom, Ellen. My brothers fought over who was dead Aunt Edna and who was Rusty. I, of course, was Audrey.

We drove down to the city that we were supposed to be boating to. Let me tell you, riding in a car for an hour isn't as fun as floating down the river for 8. We had planned to spend the whole day on the boat, taking our time and enjoying the weather. Instead, my two brothers and I were in the car. Not that there wasn't plenty of room in that beast of a vehicle, but it just wasn't the same. We made it to our destination and of course we had plenty of time to do some on-land exploring.

We made it to a boat show, climbed up into a big cruiser and cracked jokes that we were finally enjoying our 'real' vacation. We toured the Heileman Brewery(now closed), where they brewed my dad's favorite beer, Old Style. The boat we were supposed to be vacationing in, our family boat, was named "Do It With Style" and had an Old Style beer logo on the back. My dad maybe didn't really think that though.

I'm sure we did other things, but I don't remember the details. What I do remember is my parents making the most of our vacation, even when our original plans fell through. Sure, we didn't get to take a long boat ride down the river, but we got to spend quality family time together. Even if that time included arguing about who was "dead Aunt Edna" and who got to sit in the "way back" of the station wagon.

I was worried the other day that I was forgetting memories from my childhood. Thanks, Mandy, for allowing me to document on one that I remember!

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It was my pleasure Cathy! Thanks for filling in for me this week. Your story reminded me of my own Griswold misadventures from this summer!

Cathy, I adore you and think nothing but the best of you. You're like a protege who has surpassed me - the student who becomes more famous than the teacher, which is what any good teacher truly wants! :-) Keep up the great work and continue pursuing your dreams!

More guest posts will be coming very soon! Then I'll give an October month-end recap and be back in November with details on what I've been doing (besides catching a bacteria infection). Thank you for stopping by and showing your admiration to these wonderful guest writers! I look forward to catching up with you in the next week!

Guest Post: Good Eats, Friends and Baked Apple Crisp

2010-10-12T05:00:00.020-05:00

Meet my good friend and baking muse Anne from the blog Annie Bakes. She's a magnificent cook, busy wife and mom of two teenage boys. And did I mention that she runs her own business and writes for a food column in her community? I'm surprised that she even had the time to write a guest post for me. However, thankfully for all of us, she did! After all, that's just the kind of warm, wonderful person that she is!

Anne and I have been corresponding through email off and on for months now. I often write to her for recipe suggestions. Sometimes I'll just send her a note to let her know about a great dish I made and discovered. She's become a bit of a culinary cheerleader for me. My cooking coach if you will! :-)   She and I also share a love of books and read "To Kill A Mockingbird" together back in April too.

Her site is a great inspiration for me. For simple, hearty meal ideas that your family will enjoy, please check out Anne's blog. I'm never disappointed at the recipes she shares!   In fact, here's a great corn dip that she told us about. I bet it would make a great addition to your fall parties and football gatherings. Also, she recently raved about this tasty crockpot chili dish too! Check them out and amaze your taste buds!

Thank you Anne for being a guest writer on my blog this month so that I could take a break to work on my own baking and my family favorites cookbook! I'll be getting with you soon for some baker's tips.

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Hi everyone and thank you Mandy for having me over to your place today for a guest post! I just love taking my recipes on a road trip.

Mandy and I have been friends for over a year now and we have had so much fun going back and forth with books and recipes!   I was originally going to show you all how to make Pumpkin Puree and share a pumpkin-flavored recipe, but it has been so hot here (in Northern Wisconsin where I reside), that I couldn't bring myself to keep the oven on for hours on end; sooooooooo instead, I made a wonderful Baked Apple Crisp with a granola topping.

I am all about good and easy and this recipe is just that! Even though apples are great to eat all year round, there is something special about enjoying them warm in the cooler months.   So for now, let's use up some of those marvelous apples!! Then I'll come back another time to share my pumpkin recipes with you.

Baked Apple Crisp

INGREDIENTS:

3 tablespoons butter

1 1/2 cups granola

2 tablespoons flour

1 tablespoon sugar, plus 1/4 cup

5 crisp apples - (I used Fuji-cored, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch pieces)

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon/sugar mixture

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt the butter in a medium non-reactive, oven safe skillet over medium heat. Add the granola, 1 tablespoon flour and 1 tablespoon sugar and toss until the sugar is dissolved and the granola is well coated. Transfer to a bowl and set aside.

Using the same skillet; pour in the apples and toss with the cinnamon/sugar mixture, lemon juice and remaining 1/4 cup sugar. Cook, stirring occassionally, until the apples are juicy and slightly softened- 5 to 7 minutes. Stir in the remaining 1 tablespoon flour. Scatter the reserved granola mixture evenly over the top and transfer the skillet to the oven. Bake until the crisp is bubbling and the apples are tender, about 35 minutes. Serve warm with ice cream. Enjoy!

*Adapted from a Food network Kitchen Recipe

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Anne, I LOVE that you shared an apple recipe with us. Actually, it works out even better for me too. I need to eat more apples to help keep the doctors away! Sadly, I caught strep throat while taking a trip to New Orleans recently. I'm sure your recipe is just the prescription I need to feel well again! Thank you. And yes, please come back again when your pumpkin recipe has been tested and perfected!

Cheers to you! Now everyone go visit Anne's site for more delectable, mouth watering recipes!

More guest posts will be coming your way. Thanks to everyone for visiting and sticking around! I promise to visit you soon.

Guest Post: September Mom Uses Humor To Manage Four Kids

2010-10-07T02:00:00.018-05:00

Meet my good friend Kelly or better known as September mom. She's a witty, intelligent, poet and mother of four children who lives in New York. Her wonderful blog - My Voice, My View - has beautiful paintings, insightful poetry and great humor about her tireless days as mom, wife and woman.

I especially adore her "Microfiction Monday" series where she writes short sentences to describe paintings. In addition, I love the beautiful images that she has pasted all over her side bars. She has a love for paintings that capture your attention, like this one:

Kelly and I have spoken on the phone and I love her Yankee accent. She's as warm on the phone as she is on her blog. I'm honored to have her be my first guest writer in October, to kick off this month with humor and style. Thanks Kelly!

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What a treat for me to come hang out at Mandy's fun place today. Mandy's humor, wit, creativity, honesty, warmth, and kindness are always evident in each of her posts. Considering how each of her posts are like a grand slam, I'm hoping that I at least hit the ball with this guest post. She's a tough act to follow :)

To think that my kids may have inherited a bit of my sarcastic flair is both rewarding and scary. If I could imitate the wonderful Scarlett O'Hara accent (portrayed by actress Vivien Leigh), I would say, "Oh dear. The things these little "angels" say to their sweet old Mama." Okay, I'm hoping that I'm not THAT old. I'm only an early forty-something mom. I'm not pushing or driving Miss Daisy yet.

Anyway, as I put on guest blogger cap, here is another installment of what I regularly share on my blog entitled: "What My Kids Say:"

• "Mom, was TV invented when you were born?" (asks James, age 10). I think he imagines that I was Pebbles Flintstone way back in 1968.

• "Mom, you want to take a dance class? Not in our town, right?" (asks Joseph, age 7). He acts like I'm going to parade down Main Street!

• Picture my 5 year old in her sweetest little voice: "Mommy, I know how you can get me a bunch of presents before Christmas. Just buy a Mommy magic wand" (says Jillian, age 5). If I could find the store selling those wish makers, I would be first in line, believe me!

• "Mom, your hair always looks wild. No offense." (remarks James, age 10). Do you mean "Kramer" wild or "Tina Turner" wild? Now if I only had Tina's legs.

• "Mom, did you lose my homework folder, my homework, my textbooks, my worksheet, my socks, my underwear, my lunch, my football, etc.?" (asks ALL of them at one point or another!) Sorry kiddos, not guilty in those areas, but I may have lost some of my sanity after that constant interrogation. How crazy, I guess kiddos, to think that maybe you misplaced an item or two. Being a Virgo, I am kind of organized with most everything, except my thoughts some days.

• "Mom, you do know how to wash my soccer jersey, right?" (inquires John, age 13) Hmmm, maybe I should pull out that old rock and bucket used by Wilma Flintsone back in the days when I crawled with the dinosaurs???

Mandy, I know that the above might not be the most insightful or creative for your wonderful blog. However, I just had to use this moment to get all those sarcastic jousts with my kids off my chest. Sigh, I feel better.

The reason I started blogging over two years ago was because I was looking for "meaningful conversation" beyond what I describe above with my children. I wanted to feel truly connected to all sorts of people. Blogging has become a way for me to be just "Kelly" and not just someone's wife or mommy. It's a wonderful sanctuary in a usually hectic day for me as mother to four children.

The creative urge to write pushes me each day. Some days, my muse drops just the right kind of inspiration in my lap and I can knock out a poem or work on a short piece of fiction. There are other days when my creative well feels very dry. Poetry is such an intimate personal expression that feels raw and genuine. So often, I just have to get the poem out. I love to do my poetry quickfires for the blog like my most recent one entitled "Swelling." It's funny how often I will jot down a poem quickly in the middle of making dinner or checking the kids' homework. I don't want to lose that creative moment which could so easily happen in my busy, chaotic household.

Writing fuels my soul. Reading does too. I love taking just five minutes before bed to jump into a favorite poem and breathe for me again.

Thanks Dr. Mandy for letting me use your therapy couch for a while :) Love ya!

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Oh no, Kelly, the pleasure is ALL MINE! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and funny stories with us.

Everyone please leave a kind comment for Kelly or stop by her wonderful place today!

More great features and guest writers will be coming soon! Stop by again to be inspired by others.

Be My Guest - A Month of Visiting Writers

2010-10-05T01:59:00.011-05:00

I love to play hostess and have guests at my house. The same goes for my blog. Therefore, I declare this October as "Be My Guest" Month - guest writers, that is.

I've asked several of my blogging buddies to write posts for me over the next several weeks. I'm so happy that they are indulging me. I've selected a few that I consider friends, some I've even spoken to on the telephone before; however, I welcome any of you reading this post to be a guest writer on my site. If you have a voice and want to share something with my readers, please leave a comment here or send me a personal message - littlebit.mandy@gmail.com.

The timing for this works out perfectly. I'm writing a cookbook and working on two other creative projects. I also have several tours, fall activities and my daughter's birthday party planned for this month. So it's a very hectic but exciting season for me.

Therefore, I look forward to showcasing the creativity and writing style of my friends and fellow bloggers that I love. They will help fill in for me since I can't be as attentive as I normally am. A few of these amazing people have been following my blog for over a year now. I'm truly honored to have them share stories with you on here!

If you have an idea for a guest post or a topic that you'd like me (or my friends/family) to cover, leave your suggestions in the comment section below. Or better yet, write something to be shared here. Let me know that you have a guest article on your brain. I promise you'll enjoy your stay. Being on this blog is like staying at a cozy bed and breakfast. You'll be greeted with coffee, champagne, eggs, pancakes, bagels and more! You can even demand a refund if you're not happy with your accommodations.

So take off your shoes. Kick back and relax. You're a guest in my home. Enjoy!

Oh and I know you already exhibit excellent manners but.... please remember to be kind to other guests who are visiting (and writing) here. Who knows what you'll learn? You may just discover a new friend or gain valuable information from these wonderful folks and their insightful words.

I can't wait to share their stories, their humor and their writings with you. The first guest writer will be coming soon! You don't want to miss it!

Shooting Corn Out Of A Cannon And Other Fall Fun!

2010-10-03T12:07:00.003-05:00

Fall is my favorite season of the year. I absolutely love it! Last year at this time we were in the process of moving from Montgomery, AL to Pensacola, FL. Instead of enjoying the pumpkin patches and taking outdoor nature walks, my family was packing and unpacking boxes. We also lived in a tiny hotel room for six weeks - the entire month of October up until a week before Thanksgiving. Therefore, I felt quite robbed of my autumn harvest expeditions last year.

This year I intend to make the most of it and not miss out on anything! I've been seeking out several excursions to do for October - a haunted tour, a corn maze, pumpkin farm, cheese farm, peanut farm, bird trails, bike riding, outdoor walks and much more! I hope to spend each weekend doing something new with my family.

We kicked off this weekend with a visit to a corn maze in Elberta, Alabama, which is less than thirty minutes from my home. This family-run seasonal event included a corn maze, a hay maze, a wagon ride, pumpkin patch, corn cannons, a small playground area for kids and more! The entire property was 80 acres but we only witnessed a few acres of this family's estate.

A visit to a corn maze in Elberta, Alabama

Walking through the corn fields' winding path

Sadly, we did not master the corn maze even after attempting four different routes. The corn kicked our butts, I guess you could say. Although the crops were not very thick and you could see outside the maze, I did find the trail a little bit scary. You hear lots of rustling sounds being surrounded by all that corn. I kept waiting for some evil child to jump out and frighten us. Or I thought an entire baseball team might be lurking behind the crops. Lol.   At least we can say we experienced the winding paths.

Vivian's grandparents (my folks) - Buddy and Mia came with us to the corn maze. Viv loves having them around and all the attention they give her.

Vivian with her Buddy and Mia at the corn maze.

This corn maze also had a separate pumpkin patch area. They had traditional orange pumpkins and even plain white (albino-looking) pumpkins that the farmer said is quite popular. Patrons like to paint the white ones and turn them into artistic works of art.

Viva the Diva sits in the midst of the pumpkin patch.

The farm had two dogs running around that Vivian chased after. She also had the opportunity to pet several farm animals, including a few goats, ponies and calves.

Kirk (and my dad)'s favorite part at the corn maze was a corn cannon. That's right! A cannon used to shoot corn at targets.  The owners had three cannons of varying sizes that you can stuff corn down and pull the trigger. If you hit the designated target with your corn, then you win a free t-shirt. None of us hit the bullseye but we all came close!   Kirk really had a good time using the cannon. The farmer told us how we can make our own cannon using parts from a hardware store. I think I know what Kirk wants for Christmas now! Lol. Although instead of corn, I can picture him shooting off peanut shells and empty beer cans. ;-)

Kirk takes his aim with the corn cannon! He got very close to hitting the target.

All in all, Saturday was a great day for a family outing. The weather was perfect - sunny with highs in the upper 70's and lower 80's. Humidity was low. You could not ask for better conditions. I really love that our family makes it a point to visit these kind of events. Fall is such a great time to do some exploring!

Our family at the corn maze - Kirk, Vivian and Mandy enjoy the fall festivities!

After our visit to the corn maze, we drove to a cheese farm nearby. Actually, it was more of a family-run cheese shop. A husband-wife team sells their homemade cheese varieties right on their property. Our mouths watered over the samples we ate - gouda, sharp, garlic, cajun-spiced and bleu cheese.    We left the store with a 1/2 pound of gouda, a 1/2 pound of cajun-spiced and one hunk of chocolate pecan fudge cheese.

We then stumbled upon a unique barbecue restaurant just a few miles from the cheese farm. So of course we HAD to stop in for brisket, beef sandwiches and fried chicken tenders. The sweet tea washed it all down nicely for me. What a deliciously fun day we had!

I can't wait to do other interesting activities this month.   It's going to be a great October. I can't wait to play tourist!

Also, the biggest event this month is yet to come..... On October 29th when the Diva turns three years old. We're already doing some early celebrating with different family members.  On Friday we had a little cake party for Viv with her grandparents. She's one lucky little girl, that's for sure!

Viv has a slice of early birthday cake with her Buddy and Mia.

What fun things are you planning for this October? What do you enjoy about fall time?

Start Your Own Club

2010-09-29T09:40:00.003-05:00

I've spent many years being a member of various organizations. If I had a dollar for every club or group I have either reasearched or joined, I would have most of Vivian's college tuition saved by now!

In high school, I belonged to nearly every club or activity that was listed -- student council, dance team, newspaper staff, yearbook staff, prom committee, etc. etc. By the time I graduated, I was exhausted! After all those high school social activities, I took a break in college to focus on academics.

Then in my early twenties I found online groups and networks to meet friends (and that's how I ended up meeting my husband - you can read our story here! :-) I also took cooking classes, community aerobics classes, joined a New Neighbors League, and more. When I didn't have a child, I invited others to join me twice a month for "Cocktails and Conversation" - a social mixer I created with other females to enjoy drinks and discussions after working hours.

Each time I moved to a new state and city, I looked for clubs, resources, potential friends and networking opportunities. When I moved to Pensacola, Florida last October (Wow, almost a year ago!), I found an online moms resource site right away. That online network led me to meeting my very good friend Jen who turned out to be a fellow writer and blogger. Jen invited me to join a moms club that she partakes in. I knew this was a friendly, great group for me from the very beginning. Now I volunteer with this moms' organization and I often recruit new people into our club. Although we have fun activities planned for mothers and children nearly every day of the week, I have now realized that I need another outlet for my creative side, not just my parenting side.

Jen and I met up recently to discuss our writing desires for the future. I can't tell you how fortunate I am to have found a local friend who loves doing what I do (writing) and who shares my passion for literacy and exploration. We both revealed how easy it can be to fall into a funk with creativity and become distracted with the every day parts of life, especially motherhood. Yet both of us really want to put our pens to paper (errr, keyboards to laptops) and make some serious strides this fall in our writing goals.

So after talking about our plans over bagels with cream cheese and coffee....because you can't have a meeting without food, am I right?...., we have decided to form our own writer's group. For now it's just the two of us. Maybe it will always be just the two of us. But we're rather excited over it.

I even suggested a clever name for our club. Giving it a name makes it feel real and meaningful. Now we have a funny code word to use for our future gatherings. It will be casual and flexible but we're both determined to meet once or twice a month to do nothing but brainstorm, write and edit (and eat and drink too, probably.... most likely).

Starting our own club just makes sense since neither of us have found a creative group that fits our needs. I actually contacted a local writers federation, left messages for them, but no one ever called me back. I've also looked into listings of gulf coast area writers but many of them seem to be a "show and tell" of work already published, not exactly an avenue for aspiring writers who are working on projects, like we'll be doing.

And I LOVE my online blogging community. It is wonderful. You are wonderful. I sure do love my readers and commenters.  Yet I realized that I need a live, warm body next to me who can be my writing cheerleader, someone to offer me feedback and editing tips.  Since my friend Jen lives within fifteen miles of me, I know she will help hold me accountable for what I say I'm going to do. Plus, she's a former teacher so it's perfect -- she'll probably help me develop a lesson plan and give me homework assignments!   :-)

After our first, impromtu "meeting", I went home and created six pages in my cookbook that I've been slacking on. I also completed most of my outline for it, spending an hour of uninterrupted time just thinking about it. I felt such a sense of accomplishment! I know I should have done this sooner. I know I've gotten distracted and made excuses. But I can't go back now. I can only go forward and really push myself this time -- to keep writing, continue working and focusing in on my creative skills. The pep talk Jen gave me and our shared aspirations was just what I needed to kickstart me into high gear again.

The reason I'm sharing this here on my blog is to motivate me even further to continue this writing journey. If I write it here, then I'm adding another level of accountability for myself. I have to do it. It's another "challenge" I suppose but not one I'm doing as a monthly writeup. Rather, it's a life long task of mine.   Plus I wanted to mention it now since I will be distant during the month of October. After all, I plan to be writing more and blogging less in order to reach my personal deadline for this cookbook. I finally had to slap my hand with a ruler (old school teacher style) and committ to a due date for the birth of my literary baby. I hope I don't go overdue. That would hurt and I don't need side cramps! ;-)

I'm curious - Have you ever started your own club? Have you ever formed your own interest/hobby group in order to meet a creative outlet/passion of yours? I'd love to hear about your experiences. Please share them in the comments section.

Hell, it worked in the film Old School right? The characters played by actors Vince Vaughn, Luke Wilson and Will Ferrell started their own fraternity.   Sure it began with drinking and partying but it did give those men a sense of purpose and they formed friendships.

A club is a club, no matter how you look at it. If you're gaining something worthwhile by joining one or starting one, then that is all that counts. If we're having an off day or moments where our creative juices just aren't flowing, I know that Jen and I can just go from the writing club to the cocktails club. And it could be important research for our books anyway, right? ;-)

Book Review: "The Bean Trees"

2010-09-26T20:06:00.008-05:00

I've still been reading one to two books per month since my April literacy challenge but I haven't taken the time to review all of them here. However, "The Bean Trees" by Barbara Kingsolver struck a few chords in me and I wanted to share my thoughts on this novel.   Some of you may be familiar with that author's name. I reviewed her work "The Poisonwood Bible" which I absolutely loved.  "The Bean Trees" preceded that literary work of art. In fact, it was Kingsolver's first book.

I don't typically read more than one literary work by the same author. That may sound crazy, I know. Even if I love something written by an author, I usually want to give other writers a chance. Yet when I nearly ran into this book on the shelves of my local library, the cover caught my attention. So did the title. Then I remembered the author's name. Therefore, I decided to borrow it - thinking perhaps I was destined to read it.

(Funny side note: Kirk has been making fun of me for over a week now, whenever he saw me with the book "The Bean Trees" in my hands. "Beans on trees? Does the book give you gas?" he would ask in a teasing manner. Or something like that. Kirk isn't much of a reader, not unless you count instruction guides or electronic manuals).

The book did deliver but I could tell that it was Kingsolver's first book since it was not as detailed or as well written as "The Poisonwood Bible". Despite that, she's a great storyteller and covers some heavy subject matter in her novels.

"The Bean Trees" follows the life a girl named Taylor Greer who saves money to leave her small town in rural Kentucky. She has no intention of turning out like the rest of the females in her community - having babies or being stuck at some dead-end job. She drives out west with hardly any money or a plan. While she is making a stop in Oklahoma, a strange Indian woman hands her a baby. The lady deserts the small child in the back of Taylor's nearly broken down Plymouth. Taylor doesn't know what to do after the woman disappears but decides to sort the arrangement out later. She thinks that a long drive will help her figure it out. She and the child make it into Tuscon, Arizona until her tires give out.

In Tuscson, Taylor meets Mattie, the owner of The Jesus is Lord Used Tire Shop. That is Mattie's day job. By night and secretly, Mattie offers refuge and home to illegal immigrants trying to receive citizenship or escape from their horrible lives in other countries. (Note: If you have passionate feelings about immigration one way or the other, this novel may cause you to become riled up. Although it's an underlying part of the story, it's not the main focus in the novel).  Mattie offers Taylor a part time job helping her fix automotives until she can pay to have the tires replaced on her car.

Tucson begins to grow on Mattie. So does the little girl she surprisingly inherited.  Taylor names her "Turtle" because of her strong grip. Turtle doesn't seem to say much and acts in shock after a rough, abusive life that she's lived through. Everyone (including Taylor) wonders if Turtle is a little slow and if she'll ever recover from her past life. Taylor is astonished to learn that Turtle is three years old after a medical exam, not two like she originally guessed and as Turtle had acted.  Under Taylor's care, Turtle begins to make developmental progress, especially in learning the names of plants, vegetables and seeds, with an affection for beans.

Trying to provide for herself and this new child, Taylor meets Lou Ann, a recently divorced fellow Kentuckian who lived in a neighboring county that Taylor knew well.   Lou Ann is not much older than Taylor and even has a three month old baby boy named Dwayne Ray. Soon Taylor moves in with Lou Ann and they form a strong, often comical, friendship.

While working for Mattie, Taylor meets Estevan and Esperanza, a couple from Guatemala who are in hiding. When she hears about their personal stories and suffering, Taylor realizes what a sheltered, charmed life she has lived in coming from country life in Kentucky.

Suddenly everything that Taylor has run away from -- motherhood, small-town living and family become her new livelihood. She makes these wonderful new friends who teach her life lessons about belonging, abandonment and putting down roots.

Then comes the threat that Turtle may be taken away from Taylor and placed in foster care.   Her dear friends Estevan and Esperanza are also in danger of being sent back to Guatemala if they don't reach a safe haven located further east. Taylor reaches within for faith and strength to help this couple. Then she fights for a child that she originally never wanted or asked for in the first place.

As a mother, I especially loved the conflicts that Taylor had when she was trying to determine if Turtle would be better off in her care or in the hands of someone else. Those thoughts and questions cross the minds of parents like me all the time, like in this conversation between Mattie and Taylor:

Mattie (to Taylor): "You're asking yourself, Can I give this child the best possible upbringing and keep her out of harm's way her whole life long?: The answer is no, you can't. But nobody else can either..... Nobody can protect a child from the world..... Instead ask yourself, Do I want to try? Do I think it would be interesting, maybe even enjoyable in the long run to share my life with this kid and give her my best effort and maybe when all is said and done, end up with a good friend."

Gosh I really LOVED those lines! I could so identify with those words. Even on my toughest days with Viva the Diva, I think.... I'm giving it my best and I chose to share my life with this kid of mine. Hopefully someday we'll be friends. Such great, great words that all parents can relate to feeling.

Later in the story when Taylor and Turtle are looking up a reference book on vegetables and plants, they stumble upon a particular type of bean tree. Taylor learns about Rhizobia (referenced as bacteria in the story and as soil in the dictionary) which nourishes the roots of legume plants. She discovers how the rhizobia is what help sustains the life of a bean tree, comparing them to an underground railroad system that makes the plant survive and thrive. While reading this, Taylor makes the connection that because of her Tuscon friends like Mattie, Lou Ann, Estevan, Esperanza and others, her own life is now flourishing. Like the rhizobia helps the bean trees, the people in Taylor's life help create miracles.

That was the overall message that I took away from this intriguing book. Even though you sometimes set out to conquer the world on your own, you realize that you can't do it alone. You need the help of good friends and good people. And life isn't worth living without those wonderful folks who inhibit it.

This book has a sequel called "Pigs in Heaven" which I will try to obtain from the library as well. In it, the story of Taylor picks up two years later and covers newer subject matter. I enjoyed "The Bean Trees" so much and I really like Kingsolver's writing style so I'm breaking my rule of not reading the same author once again to see if I can be captured by another one of her novels.

Kingsolver weaves a wonderful story with endearing characters that you cheer for every step of the way. I would recommend "The Bean Trees" to anyone looking for a story about friendship, life lessons, family, freedom and social awareness. I don't think you'll be disappointed by it.

What are you reading right now? Anything worth sharing that I should look into?

Focus

2010-09-25T16:53:00.002-05:00

Clear your head
Seize the moment
No more delay

Run, don't walk
Scream, don't whisper
Stop the excuses

Pen to paper
Pedal to metal
Just do it

No hestitation
Pure detemination
Fists clinching

Your secret desire
Could be reality
Make it happen

Less is more
Say it loud
You can transform

Don't slip away
Step up now
Victory is possible

Focus in
Raise chin
Try again.

(Note: These were a few words and images that poured out of me as I was giving myself a pep talk earlier today. I'm trying to convince myself to take on a creative project and possibly enter a writing contest. Let's see if these poetic lines will give me that push I need to get started and to focus on my desires....)

The Handsome Prince Does Exist

2010-09-23T16:22:00.004-05:00

For several days now I have felt like a damsel in distress. Actually a portrait of the ugly stepsister is a more accurate description of my self esteem and my thoughts lately.

Well you know.... It happens. Sometimes, for whatever reason, you have an off week. Things don't go quite the way you hoped. You get down on yourself.  Perhaps you look in the mirror and criticize every facet of your external self - I don't like my hair. My face is covered in blemishes. I'm getting older and it's showing. Then all those external insecurities seep into your internal soul and the real damage begins. You find yourself using phrases like... I feel like a failure today. What's wrong with me? Finally those outer and inner agonies result in things like not paying attention to your child smearing chocolate all over the carseat and bumping into the kitchen countertops for the sixth time causing the cussing and hair-pulling to begin. And the whole cycle just repeats itself!

That has been my week in a nutshell. All of those "Negative Nelly" and "Debbie Downer" thoughts caused me to be an emotional basket case for a few days. I did a lot of crying on Monday. On Tuesday, I was cranky and irritable at the slightest thing. Thankfully on Wednesday I had a small group of friends over at my house.  They helped cheer me up and pass off the day with laughter and stories. Then last night our family had its usual dinner outing - wings and beers at Beef O'Brady's, our hump-day break from the mundane routine. I put on a dress, curled my not very cooperative hair and forced a smile. After all, I wanted to feel better. I wanted to be out of this funk.

Even though Vivian was a bit bratty during our meal, the evening was nice. When we came home from dinner, I changed into my comfy t-shirt and boxers.  I placed Viv in front of the television so I could pretend to be a vegetable for a half-hour. Kirk soon found me though and slipped his arm around my waist. He gave me the warmest, comforting hug; then he held my chin so I would look at him.  Gazing into my eyes, he told me how wonderful and special I am. As usual, my husband knows just want to say to calm my nerves and melt away my fears.   Kirk reminded me that he thinks I'm beautiful, even when I don't. He said that I am great just the way I am, even though I'm getting older and sometimes feel like a failure. He expressed several reasons why I shouldn't be sad, worried or annoyed with current personal fears and future plans. My constant gratitude reminder, that's what he is.

As corny as it may sound, my husband swooped in to rescue me from my tower of darkness. My prince charged his sword against my negativity and against my self-destructive ways. When I am weak, Kirk is strong for me. During times when I can't seem to find the light, he lifts me up and carries me into the sun's rays.

I'll be honest - I didn't know guys like him existed until I met him. The boys (and I mean boys, not men) I dated before him were so different, so selfish. Before Kirk, I had no clue that males could care about others, especially more than they care about themselves.  Was there such a thing? A man who can love deeply and show love without hesitation. A guy who is silly, funny, dorky, compassionate, strong, intelligent, handsome, witty and all those things you hope to find for a companion. Yes, it's true. It's not just a myth. I found him. I have him for my lifelong companion. How did I get to be so lucky!? Why is it that I am the chosen one to attend the ball for the rest of my life?

I wish every person could be fortunate enough to have their own prince charming. And I realize that the "prince" can be in the form of a man, woman, daughter, mother, son, father, friend or other being. I only hope that the good people on this earth have someone who lifts them up and makes them feel whole, beautiful and special in the way that I do. A "prince" may be a rare find but they do exist out there. They really do. I know that now.

But be warned - the prince won't always look like this:

Some may, in fact, look like this:

But my handsome prince looks like this:

And I am one lucky lady! I love you Kirk! Thank you for being my knight (without shining armor), my protector, my lover and my best friend. You're my perfect mixture of Clooney and Shrek with your chiseled chin, your sense of humor and your farts. My life is much richer, happier and sweeter because you're in it. I promise to do my best going forward, to be the adoring princess you deserve. Together, let's live happily ever after. If anyone can do it, we can.

(p.s. Happy Birthday on Friday too! You're one sexy 33-year old fella! :-)

Broken Record

2010-09-20T08:47:00.003-05:00

Lately my life seems a bit like a broken record. Here's an example that happened not even an hour ago.

The scene: Me trying to spend a few minutes of quiet on my computer to read news and check email. Vivian comes running in holding arms full of stuffed animals and toys, dropping one or two.

Vivian to me: "Watch Sesame Street!"
Me: "You can go play in your room. You can read books."
Vivian: "Watch Sesame Street!"
Me: "I said that you can go play in your room. How about you find a book to read? It's not time for TV."
Vivian: "Watch Sesame Street! Watch Sesame Street!" (as if saying it twice is going to somehow make me change my mind?)
Me: "I said not right now. You go play."
Vivian: "Watch Sesame Street!"

Then she repeated it about five times in a row. It's not even 9 o'clock a.m. yet.

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Here's another exhange that, sadly, also occured this morning and is becoming a more frequent occurence:

Vivian (pointing to a spot on the carpet): "Look, it's poo-poo!"
Me (inspecting the yellow streaked stain): "No, that's Sammy cat's pee pee. Or puke. Not quite sure!"
Vivian: "It's gross!"
Me: "Yes, that is gross. Guess who has the fun pleasure of cleaning that up?!"
Vivian: "It's part of life."
Me: "Yes, it's certainly a part of MY life these days!"

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While we're driving around town, if we see a helicopter or an airplane (which we often do since we live not far from an airport and Naval Aviation practice fields), Viv will repeat the names of the flying machines over and over again.

Vivian: "Look it's a helicopter!"
Me: "Yes!"
Vivian: "Helicopter!"
Me: silence
Vivian (louder): "HEL....I....COP.....TER!"
Me (practically shouting): "Yes, it's a helicopter! Wow, yes it is. What a great observation there!"
Vivian (has to say it one more time and with a big smile on her face): "Helicopter!"

I know this is part of a typical toddler's behavior - to repeat things over and over again untill you say them too. My daughter needs that reassurance from me that she is correct. I get that. I do. Still, it doesn't make it any less irritating.

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I only wish that I could have some new and improved phrases brought forth into my day. How about some conversations that go like this:

Hugh Jackman to me: "Mandy, you look wonderful today."
Mandy: "Thank you Hugh, so do you."
Hugh Jackman: "Can I rub your shoulders for you?"
Mandy: "That's so kind of you but my husband does a good job at it."
Hugh Jackman: "Well, he's one lucky man. You're amazing."

Why can't that conversation be placed on repeat and play back a dozen times throughout the day?!? I'll place the needle on the record myself.

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Or how about something like this?

Random stranger to me: "Hi Miss, here's twenty dollars."
Me: "Oh no, I couldn't take that from you!"
Random stranger: "I insist! It would make my day to give this money to you. And here's another $100 dollars too."
Me: "Well, if you insist...." (takes money and heads toward shopping mall)....

Why can't that be a reoccuring exhange that happens to me on a daily basis?

Oh well, a girl can dream I suppose. In the mean time, I suppose I'll jump into the shower to enjoy a few moments (hopefully) without any conversation at all. I hope to have at least two minutes where the only "repeat" taking place will be the lathering and rinsing of my scalp and hairy legs.

What is an annoying conversation that you find yourself repeating each day? What is a conversation that you wish could be repeated more often?

The Art of Giving

2010-09-16T20:01:00.003-05:00

You know that expression, "It's better to give than to receive." Well, I'm starting to see the truth in those words, especially the more I put the phrase into practice and also the older I become. I really do gain a warm, fuzzy feeling inside when I'm able to give a great gift to someone.

Gifts can come in many forms -- a material object, a physical gesture such as a hug, an intangible reward such as listening or donating time. I try to give a combination of them all when I can.

Although I must admit, my favorite presents to offer are those that I can use my creative talents in some way -- either putting together a special assortment of things I know the person will like, seeing a particular item that reminds me of another person or compiling written thoughts/photos/etc. for a special someone.

Apparently I'm on a giving streak this month, especially this week. I'd forgotten about my gestures though until I received four notifications from four different people across the U.S. that I shipped presents to. The recipients all replied You're the best and I love my gift. And well, I can't help but blush. I love that feeling knowing I made another person's day!

How do you know when you dream up with a wonderful gift for someone? When your friends call you crying and are nearly sobbing with joyful tears, that's probably a clear sign. Well, technically one of them called me full of tears and another one emailed me saying she was wiping away tears. While I don't like the images of them crying, I know it was for a good reason. Then, another pal of mine was so touched with her surprise package she received that she apparently is sending me my own (not necessary, but thank you!) I won't go into the details of each gift or the reason behind each one since they are all personal and were sent for different reasons. I'll just mention that a few of them took me hours or weeks to put together but it was well worth the time and effort!

Another way you know you selected a great gift is when you receive the following email and photo that reads:

"WOW, WOW, WOW, am I nuts or what??"

(Ten pounds of salted, roasted nuts given to my dad aka "Buddy" for his birthday)

You're welcome dad! And happy birthday once again! You ARE a definite nut and since you love nuts so much, then Kirk and I figured you'd be happy consuming them for weeks to come! :-)

In addition to all the giving and receiving taking place this week, I also played hostess to a group of moms and their children. I really tried to roll out the red carpet for my guests too. On my table was nearly an entire buffet of food choices. I just couldn't help myself!

Last week I baked mini loaves for local firemen in honor of September 11th as part of a community service project. Tis' the season for Mandy to give to others I suppose. Call me Generous Gina or Hollie Hostess!

All this giving and helping other people really did pull me out of my slump from last week. Often when I feel I can't accomplish a goal or if I become too caught up in the mundane, I will stop and remember how I can make a difference. Usually that difference comes by giving to others, or just by thinking of folks.

Sure a gift card can be a nice gesture. I certainly always put the ones I receive to good use. Flowers are lovely as well. Sometimes you can't help but buy a person exactly what they want, especially if it's from a bridal or baby registry.

Still, there's nothing quite like a present where a lot of thought was put behind it, a homemade or creative gift of some sort. I've been fortunate to receive many of those kinds of gifts in my lifetime and I love passing on the thoughtfulness.

Now, don't be mistaken. I'm not always this creative or considerate with every single gift I offer someone.  After all, I have confessed to the re-gifting of personal items before. Heeheehee.

But I try!   My gift may be late or quirky but there is a reason for it. After all, I love giving gifts even better than receiving them.

Do you enjoy giving gifts? What is one of the best gifts you've loved giving to someone? Name a memorable gift that you received from someone.

I wish I could send you all a gift right now! Maybe someday I'll win the lottery and be able to do so.

Being A Quitter Doesn't Mean I'm A Loser

2010-09-13T15:35:00.001-05:00

Thank you all who left comments or wrote to me since my last post on wanting to quit my September challenge. I really, really appreciate it! Your sweet, honest words mean a lot. I've had some time to reflect and I don't feel like a loser anymore.

I realize that I don't need to give myself or Vivian this "homework assignment" right now. She has many years ahead of her when that's all she'll be doing anyway and I'll be helping with it then.

Come to think of it, Viv and I do a lot in the school of life already. In fact, several of my friends and my aunt recently told me that I do more on a regular basis with my child than the average person. They can't believe all the stories I share with them on what we're doing. Every week I try really hard to expose my daughter to a new thing, new people, new situation and new fun activities. Plus, she already knows her alphabet letters and the sound that each one makes - she's not even three years old yet. So I have time to expand her knowlege of letters and vocabulary anyhow.

When I looked back at the past several months, even the last year of our lives, Vivian and I have done a hell of a lot of educational things! I just didn't write about every single one of them. Why should I? I don't need to keep score. I'm glad I'm seeing that now.

Like many of you said in your responses to my post, I can always tackle this project later. And if there is something else I'd rather be doing that is more important, then that's really a no-brainer. Duh!

So yeah, I'm quitting. For now. And I feel better and relieved over it.

Instead, I spent half the weekend doing a project that I really wanted to do -- taking inventory of my freezer and recipe collections in addition to looking into software programs and publishing sites for my family cookbook that I'm putting together. The other half of the weekend was spent doing fun things with my family: going to a wildlife sanctuary to visit endangered/hurt birds, eating out a new restaurant and visiting a new park that my daughter enjoyed. Prior to that, Viv and I visited the library to read books, enjoyed some water slide play in our own backyard and had a barbecue with friends. So we're not exactly sitting in front of the TV every day being vegetables, let's put it that way!

I suppose the key point for me is trying to find a balance -- that combination of working toward a goal that makes me happy (like writing, reading, exercising or whatever), spending quality time with friends & family and doing things that help sustain my family (i.e., household duties and upkeep, etc). The challenge this month wasn't fitting into that balance. So it's gone now and I'm feeling happier already. I even had a great yoga workout yesterday that left me balanced and refreshed with a clearer head.

So to sum it all up, I am a quitter but not a loser. After all, I'm allowed to make changes, alter my path and set forth most of my own destiny. We all have that power; we just need to exercise those rights, believe in them and make them happen. That is a lifelong (not a monthly) challenge for me and one that I intend to always work on and try to improve.

Besides, do these look like the faces of losers anyway?

Wait, don't answer that! :-P

The diva and I say hello to a hurt, endangered owl at the Pensacola Wildlife Sanctuary over the weekend.

When you get bored, why not play around with the potty seat? You can teach the following things from it - cleanliness, shape of the seat, color of the seat, and more! Everything is educational, after all! :-)

Should I Continue the Challenge?

2010-09-11T16:34:00.010-05:00

I have been putting off my September challenge for days now. I began with the best intentions - it seemed like a good idea in the beginning.

In fact, I did well with Z, and not too shabby with Y and X. I even wrote out in a small notebook a dozen or more things that start with each letter of the alphabet. I already jotted down objects, concepts and ideas for Z to A.

However, now I'm losing steam and haven't gone past "W" and "V". I technically should be on letter "R" right now according to my calendar.

What's happening? Why am I considering giving up just ten days into the challenge?

Let me tell you. And I'll try to highlight the letters W and V in my explanation since I've gone that far in the mean time and I can at least end with a shred of dignity.

First, I'm at my Wit's end with my daughter Vivian. She will be turning three years old next month and this latest growth spurt has brought out the Worst in her - attitude, meltdown, lots of "no's" over anything and everything. I'm losing my mind over it every single day, multiple times per day. I hate saying that about my own child but it's true. People have Warned me about age three being Worse than age two and I am beginning to believe them. Sigh!

I was going to stick it out. In fact, we had several days of Water play, including a day at the pool and sliding down a Water slide. We also poured Water into a Vase and pulled a Wagon around the yard. I Volunteered to make mini loaves of bread and donate them to the local fire stations in honor of their protection and events that took place on September 11, 2001. In fact, I've been Volunteering a lot lately in my mom's club and in helping out friends.

Then things just fell apart.... The days became a Whirlpool of emotions and behavior issues. And I was feeling so Wacky and on the urge of Violence all the time.

Okay, enough of all that. Good grief that is annoying to have all those big and bolded W's and V's just to prove a point-- just like my thoughts on this annoying challenge lately.

Secondly, despite my creative efforts, Vivian becomes disinterested in our activities quickly. I'm spending more time researching and planning the things we do than spending quality moments acting out the fun with her and with myself. That is FRUSTRATING for me! The same goes for writing on my blog about this challenge -- it's taking me longer to explain in words what I'm doing than it does to actually perform the tasks. Not cool.

Finally and frankly, I'd rather be walking outside in the fresh air. At least then I could point out how wonderous the weather is now that it's finally getting a bit cooler these days. And I'm much happier if I keep my writing open and available for anything I wish to explore. Lately I've felt pigeon-holded into this challenge, narrowing in too much on the alphabet letters and what to do with them.

Instead I'd rather focus my energy on something more important and special to me -- like my family recipes cookbook, for instance. I really want to have it ready to give (and make it available to purchase) as Christmas gifts this year. I started it months ago and have spent hours trying to find the right software or publishing site that I think will be a match for my needs. So far, I think I'm going to design it all myself because none of the sites give me the freedom I want to put my pages together. Now I just need to determine who has the best print quality for an affordable price.

If I could turn back time, I would have made that my challenge for September and October -- to complete my cookbook and self publish it. Maybe that will be/should be my new challenge instead?

In addition, I recently looked back at my writing from almost a year ago. I started an outline for a novel (or play) that I was very excited about last October. I wrote out details on characters and even determined how I wanted the story to end. Then it sat there, collecting dust. I've done NOTHING with it.

What's wrong with me? Why have I let so many distractions come between me and my true desires? I was much more determined a year ago than I am now.

When I first began doing "Mandy's Monthly" challenges, back in March, I did them because I had certain goals I wanted to attain -- lose weight, run a 5k, read more books, put more literacy into my life, expand my mind, etc. They were great and I enjoyed them. At that time, I felt I needed that something extra in my life.

Since then I have tried to come up with something as close to my heart as what I've already done. So far, that hasn't happened. I wanted to give it another try and now I'm regretting it.

When I came up with the notion of September's alphabet challenge, I didn't clearly think it through. The concept was a good one but deep down, my heart hasn't been in it after that first day of brainstorming. And if my heart and soul isn't in it, why should I keep doing it? I'm not being paid or forced to continue this trial. If I don't think it's worthwhile, then why bother with it?

Although I feel like a loser for wanting to give up, my gut is whispering the following lyrics into my head, "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away and know when to run." I suppose the greatest challenge for me is being too hard on myself and knowing when to move on.

What do you think? If you were me (not that you'd want to be), would you continue the challenge? Have you given up on a challenge before because you thought it was the best thing to do?

Wondering Mind Wednesday

2010-09-08T15:54:00.006-05:00

This image taken from - http://www.gapingvoid.com/iwonder883.jpg

Isn't the above cartoon funny? I find it so true too. At least that's how I feel. Somedays I wonder where my creativity goes and when it's coming back. It really annoys me. However, I think that probably no one else really cares about it except for me.

I just can't seem to find time to sit and write these days (or read much either). I hate that. I really need to add it to my to-do list -- Make time to read and write for thirty minutes, or even just fifteen minutes each day. It would be so good for my creative soul.

I've been keeping up with my alphabet-letter challenge for September but I don't want every single post to be just about that. I'll probably do some weekly recaps on what Viv and I do instead.

Since my head is all over the place at the moment, this blog post might as well show where my wondering thoughts are too. Here is my wandering mind on this Wednesday and the questions that arise in my head:

Why is it so much easier to say "No" than it is to say "Yes"? I'm so tired of my two year old (almost three year old) saying "No" over every little thing I say or ask her to do. I'm trying my hardest not to use the word "no" anymore. And guess what? It's really hard! I'm working my brain to stop, pause and say something like "Let's do ___ instead of what you're doing." Or I just try to distract her with another activity, thought or item. It's so much easier to talk about it then it is to practice it! Why can't I be like Jim Carrey in that Yes Man film?

Why can't the people in my household use the word "Yes" instead of "No" so often?

Why does our baby monitor (Yes, we still use it and my daughter is almost three. Sad but true.) remain on and quiet all day long; then at night when we actaully need to use it-- when Kirk and I are going to sleep, it suddenly becomes a full-on country music radio station (my least favorite type of music, by the way) and have voices that resemble the actors and scenes from the Smokey and The Bandit film? I do not need Burt Reynolds trying to talk to me while I'm hoping to achieve beauty rest.

Why do I let a few pimples bother me so much? I'm not in junior high anymore. Yet a few red dots around my forehead or chin and I become this awkward teenager again. Why should it get to me?

Why do I love having so many books around me when I don't always make the time to read them all? The same thing goes for movies. When will I watch them? Or am I just a collector?

How come knowing the history of a person, an artwork or any object makes it more special to me? The other night I watched the behind the scenes footage of the film Alvin and the Chipmunks. It told the incredible story of how the creator came up with the idea for the chipmunks and about how his career took off. After watching this, I had such an appreciation for those furry creatures and their mastermind.

I loved learning how Alvin is based on a real chipmunk that creator Ross Bagdasarian saw on the road while driving!

Why do I think of ways to help others but rarely put them into my own life to help myself? This goes from the small things to the larger aspects in life.

When will I get to travel someplace fun again? I'm wishing that I could plan an adventurous trip right now, somewhere further than an hour from my house.

Why do people spend a lot of money on lingerie and nighties? It comes off so quickly anyway. I suppose it may make some folks feel sexy. But, isn't naked better and more to the point?

Why can I sit there and eat an entire bowl of peanuts or chips with dip in one sitting? Why can't I be that way with carrots or broccoli?

Leave me alone - stop calling out my name!

Why does that librarian in the children's section of our local institution look so incredibly scary? She looks like she cannot stand children and even does these strange voices that seem to say, "fear me" not "like me."

Why won't my dog stop eating his own poop? And why must my cat puke on the carpet every single time - why not the tile floors that are easier to clean?

Why do I always have so many questions in my head? When am I going to realize that the questions are what matters, not the answers?

What is your mind wondering about today? I hope you're having a good week!

Y - X - Discoveries from September's Challenge

2010-09-06T13:52:00.004-05:00

Although this alphabet-inspired monthly challenge for September isn't easy, I am realizing that I do like researching new things and using my brain to come up with an object, activity, song, concept or craft about each alphabet letter. I usually enjoy the quest just as much as I do the end result.

Plus I'm finding some rather fun tools that I can use with Vivian and that may help other parents (or teachers). The internet is such a great avenue for education. Like this website I found that has coloring sheets you can print out for each letter of the alphabet - http://www.my-coloring-pages.com/alphabet-coloring-pages/. There are TONS of resources like this out there if people would only look for them.

Maybe that should be a job for me -- Research Professional. Do jobs like that exisit? Hmmm, maybe I'll look into that when I get to the letter "R."

Anyway, these were the discoveries for letters Y and X. They are not quite as extensive or creative as the letter Z findings. Yet I give myself credit for keeping up the challenge, especially during a Labor Day, long holiday weekend when most other folks are relaxing or vacationing.

Y-Things That Vivian and I Did Together:
-We ate Yogurt, blueberry flavored.
- Viv and I pointed out a few Yellow-colored items around the house.
- We sang the song, "Yakety Yak (don't talk back!)"
- We colored a picture of Yarn and a Yak.
- Viv and I looked at images of a Yaht.

Y-Things I Was Curious About and Looked Up For Myself:

- What the heck is a Yin and Yang anyway?
- I also researched a little bit about Yoko Ono especially since I saw her quoted recently in the Associate Press.

A Recent, Little Known Y-Fact About Me:

For the past few weeks, I've been getting into YA (Young adult) novels and literature. Since my niece Kristen came to visit us and I took her to the library to browse books, I find myself skimming the youth book shelves when I take Vivian once or twice a month. Of course it doesn't hurt that the teenager/tween section is right next to the children's section. I find YA appealing because right now I don't have a lot of time to read lengthy, complex novels geared toward my age. The YA books are shorter, faster and still relative to me as I will oneday have a young adult to deal with anyway.

Over the weekend, I read a young adult book that is so unlike what I would normally read but I actually enjoyed it. The book is called "Finding Your Faith" by Stephanie Perry Moore. I didn't realize it when I borrowed it but the book is actually part of a series. Each story is focused on a thirteen year old black girl trying to make sense of her older brother's death while dealing with the teenage angst of school, friendships, sibling rivalry and more. The young girl is named Yasmin Peace (ironically, just in time on my Y-day too!) and I like how she thinks and talks. It may seem crazy that I'm reading about a girl half my age and who has completely different skin color. Yet something about the book drew me in and I'm glad I chose to read it. I think it's wonderful to read about a person, place or story that is totally different from your own upbringing and community. I would recommend the story to others and may look for her other books as well.

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X-Things That Vivian and I Did Together:

-We watched a video demonstrating how X-ray paper works. It's actually a very short, cool film: http://www.funmansion.com/videos/xray_video.html
- We colored a picture of a Xylophone.
- We played treasure hunt and found an "X" that marked the spot.
- We watched a video and listened to the song "Xanadu" by Olivia Newton-John

I could not think of any interesting x-facts about myself or Vivian to share. X is not an easy alphabet letter to get x-tremely detailed over!

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I had written down several other ideas for Y and X but just didn't get to them this weekend (such as the x and y chromosomes, famous people named Xavier, Xerox machines, yams and yodeling). So I will save them in my notebook in case I should ever revisit this project/challenge again at a later time with Vivian.

So, that's all we did for X and Y. Vivian and I were slacking a bit since we did have friends over visiting and stayed busy with some family fun. W and V are looking to be more promising and entertaining anyway.

I hope everyone is enjoying the long, Labor Day holiday weekend!

Z - Discoveries from September's Challenge

2010-09-02T18:57:00.002-05:00

As I shared in my last post, I'm starting up my monthly challenges again. For September I'm going "back to school" by teaching, learning and sharing. I'm making up my lesson plans as I go and taking my "classroom" outside and on the road. I'm working hard by teaching my daughter Vivian new things, by learning new concepts for myself and then sharing them here on this blog.

Today I began backwards with the letter Z and intend to go all the way to the letter A with fun activities, words, songs, crafts, and more! Whatever I can dream up and accomplish! Here's how our first day with the letter Z went:

Z-Things That I Taught Vivian:

- Zoo: My daughter and I went to the local Zoo to explore. I'm suprised I have enough energy left over to even write this post!
- Zippers: Viv and I both wore Zippers on our clothing and practiced Zipping them up and down.
- Zig-Zag: We walked in Zig Zag patterns at the Zoo and in our backyard.
- Zester: I showed Vivian how my Zester works, demonstating with a lemon.
- Zumba: We watched a video on Zumba dance moves and practiced them.
- Zebra and Zucchini: We colored a picture sheet of a Zebra and a Zucchini.
- Ziploc: Viv and I played with Ziploc bags.
- Zippity Doo Dah: I sang this Zippity Doo Dah song to Vivian. She laughed.

Interesting Z-Facts About Me:

-I loved going to the Zephyrs baseball games when I was growing up. They are the amateur baseball team in New Orleans. I have a lot of fond memories going to the ballpark with friends and family members, even the one where formosan termites were flying everywhere and they nearly postponed the game!

- I once dated a guy that had a "Z" scar/ birth mark on his back. He used to joke and say that he was Zorro. I like to think that somebody made a mistake because it should have been an "L" for Loser.

- I do not understand people's fascination with Zombies (or vampires for that matter). I just don't get it. This type of fantasy does not peak my interest at all. I'm not hip with the current times, I suppose.

- I used to love drinking Zima. Now that alcohol is too weak for me! ;-)

- I love using Zatarain's box mixes. They are made in Louisiana and are great starter seasonings for Jambalaya, Dirty Rice and more!

Z-Things I Learned:
I was curious about my Zodiac symbol and meaning so I researched it. Here's what I found:

My element: Fire
My ruling planets: The Sun
My Symbol: The Lion
My stone: Peridot
Life Pursuit: To lead the way
Vibration: Radiant Energy
Leo's Secret Desire: To be a star

My Zodiac Description:

Love triumphs over all for this sign, which is ruled by the heart and operates from this dimension too. Leo's are born fortunate. Charismatic and positive-thinking they attract not only an abundance of friends and opportunities, but manage to survive life's stormy times with style and good humour.

Once a Lion is committed to a relationship, they are totally devoted and faithful. Should their heart or trust be broken they never forgive or forget. When a relationship breaks down (even a long standing one) they can disappear into the sunset without a backward look. Leos can cut ties, and leave others heartbroken, but usually there is a good reason why they have broken a trust. For a Leo, when a relationship is over, really over, it is over for good.

Leos are trendsetters, leaders and adventurers. Their weakness is their pride. This is one sign where the saying "flattery will get you everything" applies, but be warned criticism will slam the relationship door right in your face.

Fun stuff! Some of the above seems true and other parts don't exactly fit me. But I loved reading about Zodiac my sign. Now if some random person ever asks me, "Hey, what's your sign?" then I can give them a mouth-full response! ;-)

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I also decided to look up information about an interesting actress/singer named Zooey Deschanel. I've liked Zooey since I first saw her appear in the Cameron Crowe film Almost Famous. I remember hearing her sing in the movie Elf with Will Ferrill thinking that she has a great voice. Then when I saw her sing again in the film Yes Man with Jim Carrey, her quirky, weird lyrics stuck in my head for days.

There is something attractive and appealing about her as a performer. I discovered that she is named after Zooey Glass, the male protagonist of J. D. Salinger's 1961 novella Franny and Zooey. I haven't read that work of Salinger but I did read The Catcher in the Rye and reviewed it on this blog.

Zooey is also a member of a band called She and Him. I watched a few of her musical performances and videos on youtube. I particularly liked this one:

I will be looking for her album soon. I really enjoy Zooey's music.

So that's all I have for the letter Z, when it comes to Vivian and me. Today was just the first day using letters; therefore I set out to accomplish a lot and kick things off with a bang (or Zang I should say?) I might not always do this many activities. I most likely will not always be this creative either. However, I'll do my best and keep trying....

Zat's it for now! :-)

Mandy's Monthly: September 2010 Challenge-- Teach, Learn and Share

2010-09-01T20:23:00.005-05:00

Everywhere you look you see "Back-to-school" signs and slogans. And why not? School is back in session. Summertime play is over and it's time to be a student again.

The same goes for me. I've taken a four-month break from my personal challenges that I started back in the springtime. In March and April I pushed myself in new ways. Although it wasn't easy, I felt better completing those monthly goals and pushing myself to do more than the ordinary.

The time is now to get serious again. I've been feeling like a lazy human being for the past few weeks. Vivian and I are both annoying each other lately. She's been acting out quite a bit and I find myself ignoring her more. That's not good! We need to shake things up again in our routine! Tonight after an enlightening conversation with my husband just before dinner, I came up with a plan to revamp "Mandy's Monthly" again. I'm kicking things off with a September "Back to School" challenge for myself - to teach, learn and share.

I must admit that part of the inspiration for this challenge came from my friend Jennifer who is a former teacher. She has a wonderful blog here in Pensacola where she is sharing ideas on how to teach your child at home, called "Learning Time Monday." She just shared this post on learning about the letter "A". Jen is doing a week long session about the letter A this week.

I'm not sure I can (or want) to do one alphabet letter for an entire week like Jen is doing. But I love her idea of going through the A-Z letters to teach your child new things. So my plan is to go through the entire alphabet in one month, during this month of September. I will find new things and activities to share with Vivian and myself almost every day of this month.

However, instead of starting with A and going to Z, I'm going to do it backwards. Why not, I mean most of what I do is completely bass ackwards anyway?!   Just ask my closest family members and friends! ;-)

Tomorrow I'm starting with Z and planning to take a trip with Vivian to the local Zoo. I hope that seeing all the animals and being outside will encourage me to think of what to do next for Y, X, W and more..... because I'm making this up as I go along....

This won't just be about kids activities though! (Don't freak out - I'm not turning this into a homeschool site!) No, part of the challenge will also be to apply the learning to myself - as a 32 year old woman (wife, mom, writer, etc.) What can I learn? What can I teach myself? What new things can I share with others?

By doing it this way, I can't copy off my friend Jen. I would like to but that would be too easy and this should be a challenge, right?! I'm not a teacher like her. I often don't feel like teaching, talking, playing or even doing a damn thing with my daughter or with myself.

So that is why this is a challenge for me!! The closest I've come to teaching was being a substitute for four hours at my mom's school after I graduated from college. (My mom was a teacher for 30 years -- I have no idea how she did it!!) Those four hours of substituting were nearly the longest hours of my life! They consisted of fourth graders - nine year olds acting like thirteen year olds when they were really just babies who could barely make it the bathroom on time. No thank you! Not for me.

I'm also vowing to spend LESS time on social media outlets (like blogging and facebook, etc.) this month so that I can dedicate the time to fulfill this project. When I looked at all the minutes and hours I was spending on the computer, it really disgusted me. Instead I'm going to restrict my time or "treat" myself whenever I want to learn, read and receive inspiration.

Therefore, this is going to be tough! Less reading about my friends' updates and more focused on ways to make 26 days out of this month all about the 26 alphabet letters; then devise a plan to make it fun, educational and cheap (or better yet, free). Uh-oh, I may be in serious trouble!

I'm going to write about my progress and take a few photos here and there. I can't promise that I will write here everyday. (But I will keep a small hand notebook where I write about the things we do).   However, I can promise that I will share weekly updates, condensed versions of my plan and cool insights that Vivian and I discover along the way.

I'm looking forward to this new challenge. I need it! Vivian does too, I can tell.   We both need to step back and reconnect with each other the way we did when we first moved to Florida and were out exploring our new community. This will be good, for both of us.

I think I'll even grade myself at the end. Hopefully I'll achieve an A or B merit. That wouldn't look good if I flunked out of my own challenge.

So let the learning begin.

Could I Be Allergic To Cleaning?

2010-08-30T14:43:00.002-05:00

Hello my name is Mandy and I'm cleaning challenged. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Probably a combination of both. Now I sit here and wonder if my newest handicap with cleaning is that I'm allergic to it, literally.

I hate to clean. I've made no secret of that notion here in the past. I do the minimal amount until company comes over. That is how I roll.

I have no problem keeping up with the dishes and laundry. Yet when it comes to dusting, mopping and surface wiping, I'd rather cook, bake and dirty up pans than make sure the countertops don't have any food remains or stains from the last time I chopped up vegetables.

This not a good way to be, especially when you have a toddler, a dog and a cat.  I should do more cleaning. So I'm trying to take more steps into keeping a tidier house. But it seems like when I do, I feel sick afterwards -- sneezing, coughing, headache and sore throat. After I clean, I feel sick!

Therefore, right now as I type this, I feel quite crappy.  After all, Saturday my husband and I spent nearly four hours of non-stop cleaning around our house. FOUR HOURS - No exaggeration. We vacuumed, mopped, scrubbed toilets, scoured the surfaces, dusted, wiped down the fridge, microwave, and so on and so on.

I know you're jealous, you don't have to utter a word. Who wouldn't want to spend a weekend doing nothing but cleaning only to have it be dirty again two days later?

We had an entire weekend of rain and stormy weather so really, there wasn't anything we could do outdoors so we spent all our time inside trying to make our place better. Kirk even began rearranging our furniture and switching out a few pieces we had not utilized yet.

By Saturday night, the itchy throat started. I drank a Mudslide hoping it would soothe it. No such luck. On Sunday I felt worse and today I'm just hideous. And cranky. I haven't exercised since Friday and I'm thinking of all the things I won't be able to accomplish this week because I'm sick from cleaning over the weekend~

Sure there is a chance that it's a coincidence that it happened just after I reinacted Cinderella for a day. Vivian had a runny nose recently too but nothing serious. We had a monsoon amount of rainfall that probably caused mold and fungi to resurface all around us. I'm trying to think up other possibilities too so that I don't end up on one of those reality cleaning intervention shows.

But the bottom line is that I view cleaning as a thankless, endless job. I don't get that sense of satisfaction that others get when they have a clean house. I sit there and look at my spotless floors just cringing over the first speck of dirt that lands on it. My tush can't even sit comfortably on a sparkling toilet because I know the shit will take over it soon enough, again literally. I enjoy it for a minute, an hour or a whole day if I'm lucky. After that things go downhill and I give up.

Perhaps it would go smoother if I didn't wait so long to do it all? I really need to do a better job at incorporating clean habits into my daily or weekly routine; that way, that I'm not performing a Mr. Clean Marathon on the weekends when I should be enjoying family time.

On a whim, I came up with some catchy ideas on how I could possibly do more cleaning several days out of the week --

Mop it Mondays - cleaning the floors in the house
Take out Tuesdays - take out the trash and anything lying around that hasn't been touched for a week.
Wipe down Wednesdays - surface cleaning and mirror wiping
Thursdays and Fridays could be off days!
Suck it Saturdays - vacuuming and dusting
Sunday - another off day OR a back up for Saturday if it doesn't get done then.

Sounds fun, right? Yeah, right. Until I actually have to do it. Then I will probably convert my list into firewood and a backyard bonfire. Sigh!

Ugh, I don't know how to do this better!   My mom hired a housekeeper for most of my childhood so she's not the best role model for me.   I don't like to clean but I know it's a part of life. And not everyone can afford to hire someone to do the dirty work for us.

How do some folks get so motivated to do cleaning? How I can prevent this allergy cycle from happening to me again?

How often do you clean? Every day? Once a week? Every other week? Once a month? When company comes over? Almost never? How do you tackle the tasks of cleaning? What chore do you hate doing the most?

While I wait for you to answer, I'll be dreaming of a fairy godmother to take me away. Right after I swallow this cold medicine tablet.